1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
3. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
5. No one is listening until you fart.
6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a bad
9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help.
10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish
and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
15. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
16. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
17. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
18. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
19. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
it in your pocket.
20. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
21. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
22. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark side, and
it holds the universe together.
23. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
24. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is
25. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
26. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings." http://aidancallum.blogspot.com/