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Old 06-16-2009, 06:58 PM   #1
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Grief counseling

Has anyone ever had grief counseling? How can telling a complete stranger what you are going through, help? What can they say that you haven't hear from your family and friends? Do they tell you to take pill? ( That is something that I will not do ). The saying that time will heal all wounds isn't working.

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Old 06-16-2009, 07:03 PM   #2
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JoAnn, a counsellor will help you move through the stages of grieving so you don't get too "stuck" in any one place. But really it all depends on the individual. Most who grieve find that a support network is better. Something like a group who have similar experiences to share. Often the burden doesn't seem quite as heavy when we know others carry the same load. And often in helping others we help ourselves too.

And there is no shame in taking any kind of medication you might need. There are actual chemical changes in your body and brain when you are dealing with emotional crisis. Sometimes taking a pill will help your body ease out of some kind of rut it is in. Does that make sense? You wouldn't hesitate to take a painkiller if you needed it would you? Its much the same thing.

Hugs JoAnn, I'm sorry you are hurting and I hope you find the solace you need.
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:08 PM   #3
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Joanne,

I have never had "grief therapy" but I have had to go to therapy to deal with my health issues the last few years. First of all, you always have the right to say no to medication. You don't have to take it if you don't want to. And I think that if time was going to heal what your going thru, then it would've, or at least you think so. I guess what a therapist can do is give you a new perspective on what's going on in your life. Maybe something that you can't see due to the fact that you are in such grief. And the people in your life may not want to be so straightforward with you, thinking it may hurt you. It never hurts to try. And remember they work for you, if you are not comfortable with one, don't give up. Find someone else. There is help if you need it. Good luck to you.

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Old 06-16-2009, 09:04 PM   #4
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Hi Joanne,
I have never gone to grief counseling, but one of my best friends has. She went for quite a while. Her mother was murdered by her step father. She was never asked to take any pills.
Like Alix said, it will help you move through the stages of your grief. It took her a while and I know it wasn't easy. I made quite a few 1 hour drives in the wee hours of night when the counselors weren't available just to sit and listen to what she was feeling. You have to get the feelings out to someone. It will help. All the best to you and let us know how your doing.
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Old 06-16-2009, 09:48 PM   #5
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when i witnessed my husbands murder, i needed plenty of counseling. it help just to have someone sort it out for you. also they will let us see the death as not our fault. guilt was my biggest hang up, as it was my ex husband that did the deed. go, get what you can out of it. give it time, sometimes it just helps to be with others who are going through grief as well.
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Old 06-16-2009, 10:33 PM   #6
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I can't thank you wonderful members of DC enough. You have opened your hearts up to me. I still don't know what I am going to do. I have to try and hold myself together for my grandson Josh. He has lost his daddy, he doesn't need to see me like this. I should ask around and see what kind of support groups there are here. I am not doing to good on my own. Thank you so much for caring about me. JoAnn
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Old 06-16-2009, 11:36 PM   #7
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Let me chime in here. Most of you know what I've been through during this last year. I have not gone though any grief counseling but I have had an amazing network of friends and family who have had similar experiences. They have been very supportive and continue to be. DC has been a primary source of my support and I can't tell everyone how blessed and thankful I am to have you all.

When it comes to medication, it can be a big help. In the initial days after Buck's death, I had no idea how I was going to cope and spoke to my family physician. He prescribed a mild anti-depressant, for a short time, which helped immensely to get me through the worst days. As a matter of fact I was prescribed some sleeping medication because I was having a terrible time sleeping. A year later, I still have most of the bottle of medication on my bedside table.

Take help where it's offered and prescribed. It's not a permanent thing. You will need help to get through the rough spots. There's no shame in that.

Best wishes to you and love and strength is sent to help you get to the end of your journey.
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Old 06-17-2009, 04:26 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie E View Post
Let me chime in here. Most of you know what I've been through during this last year. I have not gone though any grief counseling but I have had an amazing network of friends and family who have had similar experiences. They have been very supportive and continue to be. DC has been a primary source of my support and I can't tell everyone how blessed and thankful I am to have you all.

When it comes to medication, it can be a big help. In the initial days after Buck's death, I had no idea how I was going to cope and spoke to my family physician. He prescribed a mild anti-depressant, for a short time, which helped immensely to get me through the worst days. As a matter of fact I was prescribed some sleeping medication because I was having a terrible time sleeping. A year later, I still have most of the bottle of medication on my bedside table.

Take help where it's offered and prescribed. It's not a permanent thing. You will need help to get through the rough spots. There's no shame in that.

Best wishes to you and love and strength is sent to help you get to the end of your journey.
Your right Katie! Sometimes meds are helpful and get you through those ruff patches. After all we are only human. I suffer from depression and am still trying to find a med that will help me, so far I'm allergic to them all. My only help right now is the support of my DH and friends.

JoAnne, you may try your church for help. They may be able to arrange counseling for you. Or ask your doctor and if your concerned with taking meds let him know so he will give you other options, like counseling.
I wish you all the best and remember we are all here for you.
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Old 06-17-2009, 12:38 PM   #9
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Sometimes an objective person looking at your situation will be able to identify what is happening when family and friends can't. I know after my mother died, I felt my life was so out of control that I became tyrannical in trying to control those around me which affected my work and my family. None of those close to me could identify why I was acting the way I did. It took going to a counselor for her to point out to me how my grief was affecting my behavior. From that I could see things more clearly and able to work through some of those feelings of loss and pain with her and was able to repair my family relationships. Please don't hesitate to talk with a professional. Find one you're comfortable with.
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Old 06-21-2009, 05:46 AM   #10
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Thank God, I have needed neither; the counseling nor the meds. That said, sometimes it is actually easier to talk to relative strangers about things, about not having to "hold it together" for your grandson or anyone else. With the people you don't know, you'd be surprised how helpful it might be to scream at the wall, weep, and rail on about how unfair it all is. I don't know how long it has been for you, but bear in mind that you're supposed to feel sad. Unless the depression has gone on for years, don't feel like you should "get over it".
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