I agree that men are more likely to look the other way when it comes to their own shortfalls. Then they discover it (for whatever reason, for hubby it is diabetes, but for many middle-aged-men it is a hot tootsie or looking great in a sports car), and, well, it is easier for men to lose weight than for women, once they set their minds on it. For a menopausal woman, less food + more exercise = lots more misery, but very little weight loss. For a man of the same age, who hasn't exercised for years, sometimes the results are dramatic and super, and they just don't understand why their wife isn't "keeping up". Oh, dearie me. Age old story. Whenever hubby and I get in that quandry, I turn the cooking totally over to him and eat absolutely nothing but what he cooks. HE gets discouraged at the fact that he's losing weight and I'm ... well, to use a weird term, turtling. I'll lose five pounds to his 15, and while he'll slow down on weight loss, i'll stay stable at those five pounds, or gain whenever I give in to a dinner out. So I've simply given up, and my weight lowered a bit, then stablized. I work out quite a bit, consistently over the 25 years we've been together (he goes in spurts -- will be religious about it for awhile, then won't get of the couch for a year. in the past 30 years I've always worked out a minimum of twice a week, and walk wherever I possibly can).
What I'm getting at is that it'll never be fair, so give up that idea. I'm lucky in that, for some reason hubby and I both like good food (eat too much, but it's good food. not garbage) and no matter what, seem to balance out at within 10 lbs of each other (I'm an inch taller than he, and am much larger in frame -- much wider shoulders, etc). SO it doesn't become too much of an issue. But, yes, men do manage to have a healthier self-portrait of themselves. In my experience, a woman who is right on target on the health height/weight charts will tell you she needs to lose 20 lbs, and point out all her own figure faults, whereas most men I know who are 50 lbs overweight, doing the stupid cue-ball cover up, or the modern equivalent, the balding man with a silly scrawny poney-tail, will see something in the mirror that looks just great to them. Go Figure.