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Old 05-16-2012, 06:16 PM   #1
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Haven't Been Myself

Have you ever spoken to someone and lost your temper to the point that you don't even remember after venting your anger. You can't even remember what else was said. Somebody else was taking over? Talking in your voice, it just wasn't in your natural character.

I've been scarce around here a few days. Haven't been able to think straight, been very tired and spent. Getting some rest.

For those that know, Those that don't. I lost my Baby Brother in Nov. It was and still is a touchy hard subject to deal with. Been working on getting past it. I'm just slow.

His ex wife called me the other day. "The Manipulator"
She told me ( didn't ask) stating that she was making plans to come on down with her kids for a visit. Excuse me? I didn't invite you! As she put it she was doing ME the favor. Seriously don't do me any.

What set me off was her complaining, she was in a rage, that her kids would only be receiving a partial payout of my brothers S.S. money. They won't see a dime of his 401k, Life insurance or anything else concerning his property. I think she took Wifey #2 to court and lost it all. Being a self centered little twit never will benefit you!

Her fatal mistake with me was when she mocked my brother yet again. I let the first time go. I wasn't in the mood to hear any more. Somebody had to stick up for him. Like when we were kids, it was me who ran across the school yard kicking some bullies butt. The big guy little guy 5 to 1 never flew with me. I took them out and made them pay for it for days. Just because they got stupid and got caught.! Munky Stomp!

She went on to tell me what Wifey #2 did with my brothers remains. I almost got sick. It was so shocking and disgusting.

That's when I just blew. I ripped her up one side and down the other. Called her out for mocking him after he's gone. After everything he's ever done for her and her kids. She didn't deny it.Shined what I said on. Don't shine me on little girl! Told her & #2 were nothing but bullies. You 2 just didn't know when to stop did YOU!? You guys just kept kicking him to the point until he was castrated, beaten down to get the the state he was in.

Are you BOTH happy now?!! It didn't stop with that. I took it even farther. Vented at what a disgrace her and her kids attitudes were at his funeral. And still are behaving badly. That frankly I could care less what your selfish minions get or don't get! And that included the other minion as well. That I thought it was fantastic that she wasn't going to get a damn dime. Never will!

My Mother had better not EVER find out what she did to him. If I find out she has, in the condition that she's in right now. Somebody's going to hear MY foot steps! Do YOU understand ME?!!

( This is where I checked out and can only remember very little of that conversation, before I ended up just hanging up on her)
I could still hear her ranting as I was doing it.

Go ahead Cupcake, keep lawyering up Ms. Know it all. Now you really won't have any money. You life styles changing. Don't like it now? You liked that piece of land? Nice truck eh'? Fed well? Pretty sweet life you had huh?
It is no more.

My husband thinks that the timing of that call was for a reason. I had very little of it at the time. Things had to be said. That maybe it was my Brother who took over used me as his voice so he could have the final say, finalize things, say the things that he couldn't when he was here. He probably needed that for his own closure so he could finally have some peace. If it was him I'm sure he's extremely proud and thankful to you for sticking up for him.He's watching over you.

If your with me that's great. If not. Get out of my way.
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Old 05-16-2012, 06:24 PM   #2
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Thanks, Munky for telling us that. I'll bet you feel better having vented.

Don't let yourself get emotionally "constipated". We're here and we love you, so if something upsets you, tell us. You'll feel better, and we all want that.

I think you handled this beautifully. I agree, you were speaking for your brother.



If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
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Old 05-16-2012, 06:31 PM   #3
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Munky, I've very sorry for your loss. Very sad.

One of the stages of grief is anger. It's okay to be angry.

Isn't it amazing how ex's/children/siblings get so interested in money when someone dies--it's kind of sick, isn't it?

All I can say is I'm sorry and something my children taught me.
Hanging up the phone is satisfying but what is more satisfying is to bang the phone on the wall loudly for a few minutes repeatedly before hanging up.

Now when she comes to visit, do not answer the door and make sure it's locked, you don't need that.
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Old 05-16-2012, 06:50 PM   #4
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You are welcome to PM me if you need more rant time. I'm a good listener.

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Old 05-16-2012, 06:57 PM   #5
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Me too, Munky. You did what you needed to do. So sorry this had to bring out this crazy stuff, right after your horrible loss.
She who dies with the most toys, wins.
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Old 05-16-2012, 07:30 PM   #6
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Your husband is right. You were speaking for him. My favorite thing to do is to just put the phone down and walk away. Don't hang it up, just put it down. It can take some folks as long as twenty minutes before they realize no one is listening to them. I usually leave the phone off the hook fr an hour. They can't call back then.

If she should start to get under your skin again, remember you are your brother's voice. Speak up before she can get into her rant. That's your phone. Not hers and you don't have to listen to anything on it you do't want to.
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Old 05-16-2012, 07:31 PM   #7
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Sounds to me like she deserved everything you gave her.
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
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Old 05-16-2012, 07:35 PM   #8
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I agree, Addie. Rude people only respond to rude. With this yoyo, I wouldn't even bother with the phone thing (off the hook). I'd just inform her that her calls or visits weren't welcome and please to not call again during this time of mourning.

Listening to one of these people lets their poison into your mind. Don't let them talk to you. These kind of people are toxic to anyone who listens. You are in enough pain, don't let them make it worse.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
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Old 05-17-2012, 07:52 AM   #9
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(((hugs Munky)))

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this.
May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
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Old 05-17-2012, 08:29 AM   #10
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Oh, Munky, I am so sorry for your loss and for what you had to go through. I send you lots of love, hugs and prayers.

I agree with everyone else. You handled it the only way you could. Make sure this woman does NOT get into your house. You don't need that at all. Your brother would be proud of how you stood up for you and would not want you to have to deal with them face to face.

I too am here for you if you want to PM. I am going through my own grief (and have had a few of those angry times but with a greedy bank, not relatives) and it is really nice to listen to others' to take my mind off it.

You are such a kind and giving person, Munky. We are your family here and you can count on us for all the support you need. Vent away publicly or privately to whom you choose any time you want.

"Variety is not just the spice of life, it is the key to life" - Chef Michael Smith

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