Haven't Been Myself

[Chef Munky]

Have you ever spoken to someone and lost your temper to the point that you don't even remember after venting your anger. You can't even remember what else was said. Somebody else was taking over? Talking in your voice, it just wasn't in your natural character.

I've been scarce around here a few days. Haven't been able to think straight, been very tired and spent. Getting some rest.

For those that know, Those that don't. I lost my Baby Brother in Nov. It was and still is a touchy hard subject to deal with. Been working on getting past it. I'm just slow.

His ex wife called me the other day. "The Manipulator"
She told me ( didn't ask) stating that she was making plans to come on down with her kids for a visit. Excuse me? I didn't invite you! As she put it she was doing ME the favor. Seriously don't do me any.

What set me off was her complaining, she was in a rage, that her kids would only be receiving a partial payout of my brothers S.S. money. They won't see a dime of his 401k, Life insurance or anything else concerning his property. I think she took Wifey #2 to court and lost it all. Being a self centered little twit never will benefit you!

Her fatal mistake with me was when she mocked my brother yet again. I let the first time go. I wasn't in the mood to hear any more. Somebody had to stick up for him. Like when we were kids, it was me who ran across the school yard kicking some bullies butt. The big guy little guy 5 to 1 never flew with me. I took them out and made them pay for it for days. Just because they got stupid and got caught.! Munky Stomp!

She went on to tell me what Wifey #2 did with my brothers remains. I almost got sick. It was so shocking and disgusting.

That's when I just blew. I ripped her up one side and down the other. Called her out for mocking him after he's gone. After everything he's ever done for her and her kids. She didn't deny it.Shined what I said on. Don't shine me on little girl! Told her & #2 were nothing but bullies. You 2 just didn't know when to stop did YOU!? You guys just kept kicking him to the point until he was castrated, beaten down to get the the state he was in.

Are you BOTH happy now?!! It didn't stop with that. I took it even farther. Vented at what a disgrace her and her kids attitudes were at his funeral. And still are behaving badly. That frankly I could care less what your selfish minions get or don't get! And that included the other minion as well. That I thought it was fantastic that she wasn't going to get a damn dime. Never will!

My Mother had better not EVER find out what she did to him. If I find out she has, in the condition that she's in right now. Somebody's going to hear MY foot steps! Do YOU understand ME?!!

( This is where I checked out and can only remember very little of that conversation, before I ended up just hanging up on her)
I could still hear her ranting as I was doing it.

Go ahead Cupcake, keep lawyering up Ms. Know it all. Now you really won't have any money. You life styles changing. Don't like it now? You liked that piece of land? Nice truck eh'? Fed well? Pretty sweet life you had huh?
It is no more.

My husband thinks that the timing of that call was for a reason. I had very little of it at the time. Things had to be said. That maybe it was my Brother who took over used me as his voice so he could have the final say, finalize things, say the things that he couldn't when he was here. He probably needed that for his own closure so he could finally have some peace. If it was him I'm sure he's extremely proud and thankful to you for sticking up for him.He's watching over you.

 

[Zhizara]

Thanks, Munky for telling us that. I'll bet you feel better having vented.

Don't let yourself get emotionally "constipated". We're here and we love you, so if something upsets you, tell us. You'll feel better, and we all want that.

I think you handled this beautifully. I agree, you were speaking for your brother.

{{{{{{xoxoxoxHUGSxoxoxoxo}}}}}}

 

[blissful]

Munky, I've very sorry for your loss. Very sad.

One of the stages of grief is anger. It's okay to be angry.

Isn't it amazing how ex's/children/siblings get so interested in money when someone dies--it's kind of sick, isn't it?

All I can say is I'm sorry and something my children taught me.
Hanging up the phone is satisfying but what is more satisfying is to bang the phone on the wall loudly for a few minutes repeatedly before hanging up.

Now when she comes to visit, do not answer the door and make sure it's locked, you don't need that.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Munky!

You are welcome to PM me if you need more rant time. I'm a good listener.

{{{{{{{Munky}}}}}}}

 

[Dawgluver]

Me too, Munky. You did what you needed to do. So sorry this had to bring out this crazy stuff, right after your horrible loss.

 

[Addie]

Your husband is right. You were speaking for him. My favorite thing to do is to just put the phone down and walk away. Don't hang it up, just put it down. It can take some folks as long as twenty minutes before they realize no one is listening to them. I usually leave the phone off the hook fr an hour. They can't call back then.

If she should start to get under your skin again, remember you are your brother's voice. Speak up before she can get into her rant. That's your phone. Not hers and you don't have to listen to anything on it you do't want to.

 

[Andy M.]

Sounds to me like she deserved everything you gave her.

 

[Zhizara]

I agree, Addie. Rude people only respond to rude. With this yoyo, I wouldn't even bother with the phone thing (off the hook). I'd just inform her that her calls or visits weren't welcome and please to not call again during this time of mourning.

Listening to one of these people lets their poison into your mind. Don't let them talk to you. These kind of people are toxic to anyone who listens. You are in enough pain, don't let them make it worse.

 

[taxlady]

(((hugs Munky)))

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this.

 

[LPBeier]

Oh, Munky, I am so sorry for your loss and for what you had to go through. I send you lots of love, hugs and prayers.

I agree with everyone else. You handled it the only way you could. Make sure this woman does NOT get into your house. You don't need that at all. Your brother would be proud of how you stood up for you and would not want you to have to deal with them face to face.

I too am here for you if you want to PM. I am going through my own grief (and have had a few of those angry times but with a greedy bank, not relatives) and it is really nice to listen to others' to take my mind off it.

You are such a kind and giving person, Munky. We are your family here and you can count on us for all the support you need. Vent away publicly or privately to whom you choose any time you want.

 

[Alix]

When someone as gentle and kind as you finally blows it is going to be epic. Go momma Munky, I'm sure you were nicer than she would have been in similar circumstances. Some people are just a waste of skin and air, sounds like she is one of them. I'm sorry she made your heartache worse though.

Big hugs to you sweet lady, I'm around if you need to vent too. Scrape that mess off your shoe and move along. Your brother is cheering right now, you said all the things he probably wanted to and never did.

 

[kadesma]

Oh Munky, I'm so sorry this happened. The last thing you needed was a demon to give you more grief. Some people can be so stupid and pushy this is the last thing you need. Honey, do no let her or the children in your home. Refuse to talk with her again. All she will do is yell at you. If need be I'd have my phone number changed Mine has a feature that lets me see sho is calling. I just let the message pick up then hit delete. I'd refuse to let her rattle my cage. You were speaking for your baby brother and I'll bet he is smiling and laughing over the way you gave her what for!!!Good for you girl. You make me so proud. Just don't let her get you to that state again. You don't need that crap for her or anyone. You are sweet and nice and a pleasure to be with You are not what she made you be. So look in the mirror and smile you are the special person I met at Phil's. Love you,
cj

 

[Addie]

Like I have always told my children, "You can't argue with someone who won't argue back." By putting the phone down and walking away, it is more frustating to the other person. And it saves your own sanity.

My phone after four rings goes to my fax machine. That high pitched beep can be very annoying. I look at the number before I answer it. If I don't recognize it, or if I do and don't want to talk to the person, I let the phone go to the fax machine. I figure it is my phone and I am the one who pays the bill. If I don't want to talk to someone on the phone I pay the bill for, I don't have to.

One of the nice things about old age, you become very selfish and into yourself.

 

[Zhizara]

Like I have always told my children, "You can't argue with someone who won't argue back." By putting the phone down and walking away, it is more frustating to the other person. And it saves your own sanity.

My phone after four rings goes to my fax machine. That high pitched beep can be very annoying. I look at the number before I answer it. If I don't recognize it, or if I do and don't want to talk to the person, I let the phone go to the fax machine. I figure it is my phone and I am the one who pays the bill. If I don't want to talk to someone on the phone I pay the bill for, I don't have to.

One of the nice things about old age, you become very selfish and into yourself.

And about time too. After so many years of trying to keep other people happy, I only have to concentrate on my happiness and comfort. It is so nice for a change.

I also don't have to answer my door either. My door, my choice.

 

[Chef Munky]

Thank you everyone for the support. I honestly do appreciate the help.

That woman will never try again to manipulate me. But she's just stupid anyways, and if she does try it again, I'll slap a harassment lawsuit on her so fast it will make her head spin. We do have stalking laws that are enforced in this state.

She tried before to tell me " Well um, I have a Deputy Sherriff that's a good friend of mine, ( she was trying to intimidate me) I flat out cut her off at that. "I don't care who your supposed friends are. He's most likely a Trekkie that's an alcoholic! "Anything else? Honey, you don't know who your talking to. I'm not your ex husband. Got that?"

I have a feeling that when I checked out, things that I said scared the living life out of her. The land comment and one other that I can't remember saying was something that only a wife and husband would know about. I had no way of knowing any of it. It was her actions and hers alone that set him off that fateful morning.

My oldest sister now knows what happened. She's made arrangements that visiting hours are now cut off.

On the bright side of all this. I'm the one who should be thankful that my Brother used me as a tool. Yes a tool!
I was the only one who could get the job done. Nut job had no other ways of contacting our other siblings. They turned their backs on him. I was on her radar, he knew it. Wasn't going to let that happen.

I'm doing alright. Still extremely tired, who wouldn't be after all that. I'll be around, even if it's just a fly by visit in the Mother ship.

All the best. Thank you all again.

Munky.