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Old 03-20-2006, 07:36 AM   #1
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Headline Hilarity

I was channel surfing when I ran across the news teasing their upcoming reports. It was chroma-keyed "Bush to talk on War in Ohio".

My first thought was "When did we declare war on Ohio?"

Perhaps intelligance officials spotted a neuclear power plant outside Akron and turned the state over to the UN Security Council. LOL!


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Old 03-20-2006, 08:43 AM   #2
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More Wacky Headlines!

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Deer Kill 17,000

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group



Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted



Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over



British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms



Eye Drops Off Shelf

Teachers Strike Idle Kids

Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax



Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
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Old 03-20-2006, 08:50 AM   #3
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You wouldn't believe how hard it is to fit a headline into the space required sometimes. I used to have to rewrite my copy editors' headlines all the time to make sure they didn't sound like the above examples, and some would *still* slip by.

My biggest pet peeve when it comes to headlines? Alliteration. Don't try to be cute. I don't want to see something like "Vaunted Veal Vivisectionist Valuable to Vanderbilt." Blurgh. In addition, there's a reason the pun is called the lowest form of humor.
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Old 03-20-2006, 09:54 AM   #4
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HA!!!!! Love it! Cute smileys too!
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Old 03-20-2006, 10:00 AM   #5
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"Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"

im still laughing at that!!
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Old 03-20-2006, 12:18 PM   #6
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For some reason I love this one

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Gee... you think so ???????
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Old 03-20-2006, 05:15 PM   #7
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One of my favorites was "Regan Sends Edwin Meese Abroad" Really? What did she look like?

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Old 03-20-2006, 05:18 PM   #8
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The Wall Street Journal website "Best of the Web Today' has loads of examples of stuff like this every day. Love it.
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:36 AM   #9
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that's great
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