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Old 11-15-2015, 08:53 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Chef Munky View Post
I'm home.

It's with sadness and a few smiles as well.
We lost our Mother early this morning.

Mom is now off on a new journey.I know she's in a better place.
She is now free of her Dementia.She's now able to be with the people she's been longing and asking about for years, that are no longer with us.Especially my little brother.She never got over that.

So, it's kind of a bittersweet day.

I love my sister for having the loving courage to take on my mother's care the way she has for many years.
Taking care of mom right to the end.

To you Mom,
87 years was one great haul.










Oh Monky, I really understand your feelings as I also lost my father to Alzhimers, and it's an odd kind of grief. It's really called the "long goodbye" for good reason, and we send them on their way with love. I remember when you lost your brother, the same way I lost mine, and my parents never got over it either.
You're sister is going to need help in finding her way out of being the care giver. For many, it's not an easy thing to do.
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Old 11-15-2015, 09:42 PM   #12
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Thank you everyone for your well wishes.
I do appreciate them all.
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Old 11-15-2015, 10:13 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Kayelle View Post
Oh Monky, I really understand your feelings as I also lost my father to Alzhimers, and it's an odd kind of grief. It's really called the "long goodbye" for good reason, and we send them on their way with love. I remember when you lost your brother, the same way I lost mine, and my parents never got over it either.
You're sister is going to need help in finding her way out of being the care giver. For many, it's not an easy thing to do.
It hit me like a brick when my brother died.Truly never thought that something like that would strike twice in my family.But it did.Was I a mess or what?Got over it? No.I've just learned to keep looking for the bright things in life.Toss aside the petty, insecure, negative people in my life.Wish them well.Move on.

Your right about my sister.
She took my mom to the hospital.She was unable to speak anymore.
Wouldn't eat, sip water nothing.She was weighed in at 40 Lbs.
They tried for4 hours just to get an IV in her small veins.When they finally did they ran tests.She was in full retinal failure.
They sent her home with my sister with Morphine, how much to give her.
It was just a matter of time when God wanted to take her home.

My sister was also given instructions that when it does happen who to call.
So she did exactly that.Now I think she has grounds for a lawsuit.
She was to call the police and the crematorium.

6 squad cars pulled up.They entered my sisters home ask where my mom was.Told my sister to leave the room.

The other officers took everyone in the house into different areas and grilled them.Demanding Id time of death.Cause of death.They were interrogated.

My sister especially.One demanded to know WHY Hospice wasn't there.
WHY did my mom die.Basically treating her death as a crime scene.Even though my sister gave them proof and the reason,medical info.Dr's name and that Mom would have wanted to be home.Their wasn't time for Hospice to help.
Mom had a live in nurse for Pete's sake!

What pissed my sister off the most was that they took pictures of my dead Mother.Why?
They took pictures of her Morphine vile.Dr's name and a whole lot of other things.My sister was still in shock.She didn't need that at all.

Today my other sister finally decided to contact my sister.She was snarky wanting to know about moms insurance money.Can you believe that?

See, and people up there wonder why I don't come around.
I would if I like them.But sense I don't, what's the point?

My sister has me.Always will.The rest don't even know we took care of Mom's final arrangements a year or so ago.Were slick like that.
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Old 11-16-2015, 12:18 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chef Munky View Post
Your right about my sister.
She took my mom to the hospital.She was unable to speak anymore.
Wouldn't eat, sip water nothing.She was weighed in at 40 Lbs.
They tried for4 hours just to get an IV in her small veins.When they finally did they ran tests.She was in full retinal failure.
They sent her home with my sister with Morphine, how much to give her.
It was just a matter of time when God wanted to take her home.

My sister was also given instructions that when it does happen who to call.
So she did exactly that. Now I think she has grounds for a lawsuit.
She was to call the police and the crematorium.

6 squad cars pulled up.They entered my sisters home ask where my mom was.Told my sister to leave the room.

The other officers took everyone in the house into different areas and grilled them.Demanding Id time of death.Cause of death.They were interrogated.

My sister especially.One demanded to know WHY Hospice wasn't there.
WHY did my mom die.Basically treating her death as a crime scene.Even though my sister gave them proof and the reason,medical info.Dr's name and that Mom would have wanted to be home.Their wasn't time for Hospice to help.
Mom had a live in nurse for Pete's sake!

What pissed my sister off the most was that they took pictures of my dead Mother.Why?
They took pictures of her Morphine vile.Dr's name and a whole lot of other things.My sister was still in shock.She didn't need that at all.

Today my other sister finally decided to contact my sister.She was snarky wanting to know about moms insurance money.Can you believe that?

My sister has me.Always will.The rest don't even know we took care of Mom's final arrangements a year or so ago.Were slick like that.
Munky, when my father died at home all alone in his chair with the TV going, the neighbor upstairs found him. Fortunately only one cop car responded to the call. There was a pill bottle on the dresser for high blood pressure, It was empty and the date was more than a year old. So they assumed he died on a heart attack and immediately allowed me to call the funeral home to pick him up. Fortunately we didn't have to go through what you went through.

What I am surprised at though is that they gave a controlled substance to your sister to take home with instructions. The hospital should have notified Hospice before they even sent your mother out the door. They could have been waiting at the door when your sister arrived by home with your mother. And the morphine should only have been given to a licensed professional who is allowed to handle a controlled substance. Nothing proper was done by the hospital according to accepted legal protocol. Had the hospital done everything by protocol, none of what your sister went through would have happened. Was her live in nurse an RN or LPN? They could have made arrangements to have the morphine delivered and signed for with their name and license number. A requirement any time a controlled substance leaves the property that originally purchased it. They could have requested that Hospice send a licensed nurse. When I have my Vicodin delivered, I have to sign for it. And no one else can do it. So if I am not at home it goes back to the pharmacy and a time and date is agreed upon. Now Vicodin is a very mild pain reliever with a small amount of opiate narcotic in it. It has more Motrin in it than the opiate. I would have to take handfuls of them to do an OD. But morphine is so much stronger. So I can understand the concern of the police. Were notes kept as to when and who delivered the morphine to your mother? Did the hospital tell your sister to make sure she wrote down every little thing about your mother's condition? Something a registered nurse would have done.

The police could have been more empathetic. In that they were so wrong. But the big wrong started with the hospital and all that they didn't do. You just don't put a strong controlled substance into the hands of an unlicensed person. Even if they meant well.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Specially your sister. My youngest daughter was murdered. It was right at the beginning of a holiday weekend. The body wasn't released for the next four days. I was in shock. The first thing I did after I hung up the phone when the police called me with the news, was to go to Walgreen's and buy a pair of black stocking all the while sobbing. I carried those black stockings with me for four days. Even had them in my bed at night. Or so I am told. I really don't remember those days. I went with my oldest daughter to make the funeral arrangements. Or so I am told. I went shopping for an appropriate black outfit. Or so I am told. I don't think I came out of shock until about two days after the funeral. And through all this I had my granddaughter living with me. It was her mother that was murdered.

So I clearly understand the pain you and your sister are going through. But somewhere down the road the day will come when you are all sitting together as a family and can start to tell funny stories about your mother. That day will come. I promise you. About a week after her funeral the police called me and asked me if I thought I could handle talking about my daughter. I went down there and answered all their questions. Who were her friends. Where were the places she worked. Did she ever use an alias, etc. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Just before I left, they handed me an envelope. In it was $60, her last paycheck and the jewelry she was wearing. I just barely made it home. I gave her jewelry to her daughter, and I kept the money. But I felt like I was right back in shock. Today I am fine. And you and your sister will heal over time. Just not today.

This angel is for your mother to guide her to heaven.
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:43 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chef Munky View Post
It hit me like a brick when my brother died.Truly never thought that something like that would strike twice in my family.But it did.Was I a mess or what?Got over it? No.I've just learned to keep looking for the bright things in life.Toss aside the petty, insecure, negative people in my life.Wish them well.Move on.

Your right about my sister.
She took my mom to the hospital.She was unable to speak anymore.
Wouldn't eat, sip water nothing.She was weighed in at 40 Lbs.
They tried for4 hours just to get an IV in her small veins.When they finally did they ran tests.She was in full retinal failure.
They sent her home with my sister with Morphine, how much to give her.
It was just a matter of time when God wanted to take her home.

My sister was also given instructions that when it does happen who to call.
So she did exactly that.Now I think she has grounds for a lawsuit.
She was to call the police and the crematorium.

6 squad cars pulled up.They entered my sisters home ask where my mom was.Told my sister to leave the room.

The other officers took everyone in the house into different areas and grilled them.Demanding Id time of death.Cause of death.They were interrogated.

My sister especially.One demanded to know WHY Hospice wasn't there.
WHY did my mom die.Basically treating her death as a crime scene.Even though my sister gave them proof and the reason,medical info.Dr's name and that Mom would have wanted to be home.Their wasn't time for Hospice to help.
Mom had a live in nurse for Pete's sake!

What pissed my sister off the most was that they took pictures of my dead Mother.Why?
They took pictures of her Morphine vile.Dr's name and a whole lot of other things.My sister was still in shock.She didn't need that at all.

Today my other sister finally decided to contact my sister.She was snarky wanting to know about moms insurance money.Can you believe that?

See, and people up there wonder why I don't come around.
I would if I like them.But sense I don't, what's the point?

My sister has me.Always will.The rest don't even know we took care of Mom's final arrangements a year or so ago.Were slick like that.
There is no pain like yours right now Munky. No other stories or experiences matter, or are important in your life.

Other sad stories just don't fit right now. Just hunker down with those you love and make it through the nights ahead.
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Old 11-16-2015, 02:48 AM   #16
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Munky, my heart aches your your loss. It's hard to adjust to losing your Mom. Know that you and your sainted sister did all you could to help your Mom through her years. Hugs to you both. I'll keep you all in my prayers.
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Old 11-16-2015, 02:52 AM   #17
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...What I am surprised at though is that they gave a controlled substance to your sister to take home with instructions...
A broad statement like this offers no help. There ARE some states that allow a caregiver to administer morphine as long as they are instructed in its use. It seems like Munky's sister had her Mom's health concerns managed in an excellent fashion. She, in my book, is an angel.
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Old 11-16-2015, 02:32 PM   #18
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Munky, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. My deepest condolences to you and your family. May your memories of her in better days help get you through this. (((hugs)))
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Old 11-16-2015, 02:39 PM   #19
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A broad statement like this offers no help. There ARE some states that allow a caregiver to administer morphine as long as they are instructed in its use. It seems like Munky's sister had her Mom's health concerns managed in an excellent fashion. She, in my book, is an angel.
Agree 100%. I had no medical training and my mother was in home hospice during the last 2 months of her life. As her caregiver I was instructed in the administration of morphine, and nurses were just a phone call away. In most cases it's unreasonable to expect a home hospice nurse to be on the premises 24/7.
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Old 11-16-2015, 03:33 PM   #20
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reading all of this is just painful. I am very sorry for your loss Munky. May your mothers memories be for a blessing.
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