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Old 05-10-2008, 11:17 AM   #11
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Bucky, I'm so sorry to hear about this, and I feel even badder for your son.

It IS extremely difficult to accept or deal with, especially for a little boy who is so used to having her around to play with and sleep with.

I haven't had this happen to me, but I know friends and relatives who have had to face it. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your little boy.

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Old 05-10-2008, 11:20 AM   #12
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Mav, that's really well said.

Bucky - I'm so sorry, not only for seeing your son sad, but also knowing you'll be without a loved part of your family. Even though he's 4, he knows a lot. I think telling him the facts, in the way that a 4-year old can understand, is the best. I'd tell him that for each year a person lives, the cat has (__) years. (sorry, I know dogs are 7, but not too sure on cats) Then explain how old the cat is in kitty years. Remind him to pet doodie gently, and to say "I love you". Maybe he could draw a picture of "kitty heaven" and tell the cat that it's a wonderful place.
I have a dear friend who had a son who passed away at birth. The other children were most helped when they could draw pictures of him, in heaven, being protected and loved. Those pictures hang in the playroom.

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Old 05-10-2008, 11:54 AM   #13
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This is bringing tears to my eyes, I'm so sorry Tom. I don't have much experience with children but Mav's advice would be the best I think, and I think the star idea is brilliant. Losing a furry member of the family is difficult, especially when you see how much it breaks a child's heart.
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:03 PM   #14
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Very well put, Maverick. I think you are perfectly right in letting your whole family be a part of this.
One thing I thought of this morning when I read this, but don't know if a 4 yo could grasp, is saying that pets aren't on earth as long as people are because it doesn't take them as long to learn how to love.
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:17 PM   #15
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i'm sorry, bucky, fer you & your kiddo. losing a pet is rough.
i love that star in the sky post. that's very gentle, & your 4-year-old could see his kitty any night he wanted to, in that huge sky with all those stars keeping kitty company.
i believe that life would not be complete sans comfy 'ol tee-shirts, the Golden Girls, and the color pink
& rock on, PITTSBURGH-
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:32 PM   #16
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Buckytom, kids have more capacity to understand than we give them credit for. My personal theory is that kids come from heaven and haven't forgotten it quite yet. Remember that story about dogs? Why they only live a short time? The kid in that story told his mom that the reason humans live a long time is to learn how to live a good life and love everyone, dogs already know all that stuff so they don't have as long on earth. Same with kitties.

Just be honest with him. It hurts like heck, but its the best way. Be with him, hug him and wipe his tears and share yours with him too. Kids need to see its OK to grieve, and boys especially need to know it isn't weak to grieve for something you love. Sending you a virtual hug my friend. I'm so sorry for you guys, it hurts so much to lose a member of your family like that.
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:35 PM   #17
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Oh wow, BT, I hope you don't have to work this weekend!

I'm very sorry to hear about the sadness you and your family are going through with your kitty.

The advice of the others sounds great to me.

Sending you positive energies.

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Old 05-10-2008, 01:00 PM   #18
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thank you, everyone.

i don't have much to say. this is gonna be rough.

but thanks from the bottom of my heart.
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very, very frightening me!" Galileo
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Old 05-10-2008, 01:05 PM   #19
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Bucky- I also would like to extend my sympathy to all of you. The poor little guy is so young to have to deal with grief so soon.There is no easy way. Just hold him close answer his questions honestly as you can-even if the answer is I don't know and let all the tears flow.Let the grief run it's course but, don't forget to remember and celebrate Doodie's time with your family.My love and lots of energy to your whole family, Vicki
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Old 05-10-2008, 01:48 PM   #20
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Oh, bucky. This makes my heart heavy. Buck and I know how much it hurts to lose a furry family member. You've been given some wonderful advice and I don't think I could add much more to it.

You all will just have to grieve and cry together. Maybe you could go to the toy/department store and buy him a stuffed "Doodie" to love and talk to. It's amazing how beautiful some of the stuffed kitties are these days.

Buck and I are holding you all close and sending big, loving hugs.

"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
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