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Old 11-13-2011, 09:46 PM   #1
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I lost my brother

Just found out that my youngest brother has died. He went missing Thursday.
He was found this afternoon. Apparent suicide.

I'm just devastated. He was the baby of the family. We, especially me protected him. Not all of the family has been notified yet. My oldest sister who pretty much raised me to be who I am today, called me as soon as she could compose herself long enough to tell me. I didn't take it well.

I couldn't think or remember my husbands work #, I usually get jerked around when and if I do call. Had to call a close friend of ours to help me out and get him home, and now! Boy did he ever. He called another friend of ours, who directly called where my husband works, and got him relieved without any problems. He walked out to 2 people in command clearing his way to get home. Munky needs you home and now. I guess they know when I call I mean it. It's never been for a honey do list. One of his friends ( the first call, He's always been in my book my BFF!) actually came over to the house and kept me company until he got home. My husband called me from his cell phone as soon as he was relieved. Asked if I was ok, Told him no. He asked if I was sick. I told him no. By then I was just in tears again. He thought my mother had passed. I told him Allyn died, but didn't get into details about it. He was already on the freeway. He's already been put out for as long as he needs.

Never thought I'd be making memorial candles for one my own brothers.
If I'm not around for a few days you guys know why. Services haven't been arranged yet. I'll be busy helping my mom through this mess. She's in her 80's now, dealing with dementia. She lives with my older sister who takes care of her.

It's a long drive up for us. An all day trip one way. I'm planning on staying for a few days. He left behind 6 kids I want to make sure that they're ok and taken care of. I won't let them go without. Or be split up. I'll be hell bent to get them through this. They no longer have a Dad. That bothers me.

It's been one strange week for me. I've been kinda cranky since Wednesday. Waking up feeling like doom and gloom is looming. Maybe I subconsciously knew.
Played detective for my Uncle who was looking for my Mom. Got that mystery solved in an hour. And now all this? Ok my plates full and I'm rambling..

I did call him tonight and let him know what happened. I'm sure it will be a comfort to my mom having her brother to talk to. She had nobody but her kids to talk to, when one of my oldest brothers committed suicide in 83. So this is 2 for her and harder for her to deal with. I'll get by eventually. What's done is done. I'm not going to judge him or his actions. Just shush up for a little while. I have yet to judge my oldest brother, except that I miss him just as much today as I did when he passed. Remember his laugh and humor.


If your with me that's great. If not. Get out of my way.
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:07 PM   #2
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Oh my God, Munky, that is just horrible. Prayers and hugs for you and your family. It's hard to know what to say. We're here for you, sweetie. This is heartbreaking.

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Old 11-13-2011, 10:15 PM   #3
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I'm very sorry for your loss of your Brother. There are no words that can heal the pain this has caused you, but I hope with all my heart that you and yours get through this with as little pain as possible.
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:18 PM   #4
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My heart goes out to you and your family, Munky. Our sympathies to you all.
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:26 PM   #5
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Char sweetie, I'm so sorry honey. Is there anything I can do for you? I know this is awful for you and I want you to know you and the rest of your family are in my prayers. Know how very much you mean to me and the rest of your DC family. Take care do what you can. you're loved.
HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:35 PM   #6
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Such terrible news. My thoughts are with you.
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:49 PM   #7
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oh my dear, this breaks my heart. it is always so hard when loved ones die. don't forget to take of yourself.
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:51 PM   #8
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Oh Char, I am so sorry. It is very hard news to deal with. I am here if you need to talk and Love You! PM me for my e-mail.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein
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Old 11-13-2011, 10:53 PM   #9
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oh munky, how unimaginably horrible what you must be going through. is it at all possible for you and your family to get some professional medical/emotional support? this horrendous burden seems too much, too big for you without outside help. sorry if i'm sounding intrusive. my thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours, dear.
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Old 11-13-2011, 11:17 PM   #10
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Munky, my heart just aches for you, this is terrible news for you to have to deal with. I hope you can find some strength for your self and your family. My sincere sympathy to you dear.

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