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Old 09-26-2005, 03:28 PM   #11
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Earlzach, with all due respect, you could not be further from the truth. It is not my wifes rules. It is OUR rules as a parent. The reason I was the one to talk to my mom and not my wife is that my wife is very polite and soft spoken and would get bulldozed by my mother in a conversation like this.

the fact that my mom is not doing anything that she didn't do when she was raising me is irrelevant. This is not her child to raise. Things have also changed quite a lot since that time. When I was a child there was no such things as child car seats. I sat on someones lap when i was an infant and I bet they were not wearing a seatbelt. Now you could probably be arrested for that.

My wife wrote the rules because she is the main caretaker. I am VERY involved in my babys upbringing, but her mother still does more than I do. She wrote the note, but the rules she wrote were rules than she and I came up with together.
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:31 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by htc
BTW, I didn't know you could only give a baby 5 foods at a time! Man, that makes for a REALLY boring menu!!
Oh I think you misunderstood me on this part. When introducing a new food we need to try that food for 5 days without introducing another new food. Right now she eats a lot of things, lots of fruits and veggies and cereal, eggs, thing like that. Right now she is on day two of trying eggs so if we wanted to try a new fruit that she has not had before than we would need to wait a few days to do that. She could still eat all the other things that she has already had previously though
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:32 PM   #13
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HTC it's easier than it sounds! Five different foods a week, but you have also those other foods you have already tried. And baby's are so very easily adaptable....man I can speak good. Being as you have no children of your own that you've had to go threw the food with I can see how hard it would be to understand. I watched like a hawk when my kids were little. I still watch them cuz allergies can form at ANY time in their lives.

GB I would talk to your mom on a civial no yelling basis....face to face and really drill to her what the out come can be. Sure she raised you guys to her fullest but back then Im sure they didnt have the additives in their foods like we do today. As per caution while I have this thought, watch Rachel with tomatoes. Sounds funny but they are a highly allergic food. Same as with anything with nuts, of course you would know that one. But anyone Ive talked to doesnt think of tomatoes. Im sure your mom means the best and loves Rachel dearly, what grandparent wouldn't but they often more than not dont see the harm. Its a hard position as you know but you know where I stand on it.......
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:34 PM   #14
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man I hate when people are posting at the same time...lol
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:38 PM   #15
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Whew! Ok that sounds a lot more reasonable. For a minute I was trying to come up with different menu items for baby with the five ingredient limit!
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:38 PM   #16
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Like I said I wasnt trying to be harsh, But I certainly dont feel your mom would endanger your baby. I am not sure your giving them enough credit as adults who have done this raising a child thing before. I am sorry for feeling your wife had something to do with this anger. It must have been the " I put it in the note" and you raised cane before you noticed it wanst in the note. That to me just came off as an over reaction that seemed unnecessary. A whole grain cheerio isnt the end of the world. And as far as allergies to make everyone feel like they cant enjoy your baby maybe you should go get her allergy tested first. Then everyone wont be on eggshells when they have her in their care. Or like most become aware of your childs condition naturally, If you baby had an allergic reaction to a single cheerio sounds like a better way to find out than to give a bowl of it later. If it has nothing to do with conrolling then it sounds like over protection. and it dont sound fair to do to your own family. A cheerio? Please isnt worth the argument. Your baby will pick up worse things on her own and put them in her mouth. That is the real concerns you should have and that can happin in a second right in front of you or your wife. I didnt meen to stir a pot over this. I will not comment anymore. And sorry to imply the controll part.
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:46 PM   #17
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Earlzach, no offense taken. you are just voicing your opinion which is exactly what I asked people to do here.

I think you are possibly misunderstanding my point with this issue though. it has absolutely nothing to do with the cheerio. I have no doubt that the baby would be no harmed by eating it (aside from a possible allergy). The issue we have is that we specifically told her that she is NOT to give her any foods we have not already approved and she decided that she did not have to follow our rules. She disrespected out wishes as the parent. She decided that she was the parent and what we said did not matter. She was going to do what she wanted. That is the issue we have.
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:47 PM   #18
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The "sue me" response could have been to mean, OK I made a mistake so sue me.

And don't take everything the doctor says to heart.

When my were small they didn't want you to introduce cereal until they were about 3 months old. I started mine on cereal at about 3 weeks. Not a lot, more milk than cereal. But it help them start sleeping throught the night. As a little cereal was a little more filling than just straight milk. The doctor would have probably had a stroke if he knew I started the cereal. However the doctor wasn't the one staying up all night with a baby.

Two differences between doctors and grandparents. Most of the doctors advise is from schooling, medical journals, grandparents is from experience.

As parents we need to try to take the two and balance them with a little intuition and common sense.

If Rachel has allegeries and has a lot of problems, then yes, you have to introduce foods and see how she reacts. If she doesn't chances are she'll be ok eating most anything she likes.

Just remember, the doctor is not 100% correct, your parents, your wife's parents were not perfect, and they won't be perfect as grandparents either, and neither will you.

It happens a lot with first time parents, to be a little over-protective. Had a neighbor once, who was that way. She called the doctor for every little sniffle, scratch, etc until finally the doctor told her she was carrying it a bit too far, and didn't need to call the office at every little thing.

If there were known foods (allegeries) on the list and she gave them to her, that's one issue. How does a food get on your approved list? You have to introduce her to it and see if there is a reaction. So what would you do, if she has a reaction to something you fed her? I doubt that your mother would not seek medical treatment if she had a reaction to a food.

Sometimes, kids can eat things for months or years before they have a reaction. A good friend of mine nephew was like that. He had been eating peanuts for about 3 years before he one day had a reaction to one nut. A nut/food he had been eating all along until that point.


Same things applies to discpline. Years ago the professionals were saying not to spank your children, damaged their psyhic, so parents didn't. Now that we have a generation or 2 of unruley, all about me and what I want kids running around, the same professionals are now saying it is ok to apply a little spanking.
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:49 PM   #19
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wow!!! All thoughts are welcomed on any post. Even here. Did you not say at one time your wife was pregnant? Is this your first? I wonder how you'll feel. Its easy to be objective when you dont have one already. My kids are always putting weird stuff in their mouths, its a guarntee you CAN NOT keep everything from them. As for your remark about "Oh it's just a cheerio" pretty much let it be, it wasnt just a cheerio, it was a bar if you didnt see that! The point is not what she had, but why she was given it when it was made clear that she wasnt to have anything out of the ordinary. As for been there done that additude, well they have but like I said in the previous post, the foods then didnt have the additives they do now. I dont know why I got my nose in this but you will soon find out how it is when you have your baby...its a whole new ball game then....
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Old 09-26-2005, 03:57 PM   #20
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Raine I agree that we should not take everything the doctor says to heart, and we don't. We use our own judgment to decide what to listen to and what not to listen to. My point is that My mother should not have that liberty. If we had not Specifically told her to not give her any unapproved foods then this would be a non issue. It is the fact the she read the note, saw we did not want her to do something, and then decided to go behind our backs and do it anyway.

yes first time parents can be over protective. Everyone has told us that we are not in that category at all though. Our baby is constantly being passed around from person to person. My mother brings the baby with her everywhere she goes (work, mall, temple, shopping, nail appointments, you name it) and we have never had any issue with any of this. Maybe internally we have not always been thrilled with all of this, but we allowed it because we did not want to be over protective and we knew the baby was in good hands.

When someone goes behind your back and does something you specifically said not to though, that is crossing a line IMO.
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