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Old 09-26-2005, 03:58 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tancowgirl2000
The point is not what she had, but why she was given it when it was made clear that she wasnt to have anything out of the ordinary.
Exactly right on the nose Tanis!!!
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Old 09-26-2005, 04:04 PM   #22
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ok GB....waht the heck is IMO??? You got me beside you. I KNOW where your coming from. K this has nohting to do with the food issue btu this is where it started for me. I once called my ex to see if he wanted HIS son for the weekend....his MOTHER told me.....you dont need a break, your a mother, they dont get breaks......boy was I ready to plummit her, if she werent so far away at that time. I was lucky though, cuz I wasnt with that family any more it didnt matter. I put my foot down, told her to get lost, of course it broke my heart at that time, but they still try to push my buttons. Now they know that if things aren't met...my expectations when Seth is there, than Seth wont be going back. Evil of me to say and do it, but hes my son and thats the way it is......
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Old 09-26-2005, 04:07 PM   #23
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WOW Tanis, that would have pushed my buttons as well!

IMO = In My Opinion
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion

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Old 09-26-2005, 04:12 PM   #24
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ahhh thank you for clearing that up!
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Old 09-26-2005, 04:12 PM   #25
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I am not sure why wanting your mother-in-law to follow rules developed by your pediatrician is "controlling."
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Old 09-26-2005, 04:13 PM   #26
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GB:

I have lived through what you are experiencing. I have to agree with you that Rachel is YOUR (you and your wife together) baby and you get to make the rules. And whether or not you are over-protective, that's your business.

All this is separate from your relationship with your mother. IMHO both of you were wrong.

Firts of all, Mom was wrong to go against your wishes. I'm sure she felt it was harmless and also that you were going overbeard with the restrictions because you are young and inexperienced while she has 'seen it all'. (I'm not making excuses, just trying to understand what may be going on between the ears).

Second, you should not have gotten into a yelling match with mom. First, she's your mom and second, because all rational thinking goes out the door ande defenses go up when yelling kicks in.

I recommend your apologizing for the shouting and anger, not for the feeding restrictions. Also, take some time to explain the whole process you're going through with the introduction of new foods and how that works. If she understands, she's more likely to support your efforts.

Then, you have to be prepared to make a really difficult decision. What will you do if she refuses to support your requirements? What will the effects of that action be on her and your relationship with her? It won't be pretty if it comes to that.

Good luck. I don't envy you with your dilemma.
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Old 09-26-2005, 04:13 PM   #27
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ahhh Jenny......thank you!
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Old 09-26-2005, 04:18 PM   #28
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I just hope your son will not hold that against when he is older. Blame you for not being close/closer to his grandparents.

I know a girl in a similar sitution, and boy has it ever screwed up the kid and the problems it has caused the family.

It's a hard place to be in, you make the best decisions you can at the time and hope all comes out good in the end. You just need to be aware of the negative outcome as well as the positive, it can go either way.
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Old 09-26-2005, 04:23 PM   #29
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Oh it wont! This was 6 years ago that this happened and all is good. Like I said I put my foot down and thats that. They know I wont take their crap one way or another. Right now though I am waiting for something to blow up, for his FATHER has a gf....he hasnt had one in 7 years,(the last one he had was rather pyscho) but shes an internet girl...I mean they met on the internet.....she lives with him now, and has no urge to meet me. Time will come. I wont intentally put my kids in harms way....Seth knows my ground as well......when the tough gets going I kick ***......I know but you have to being a single parent
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Old 09-26-2005, 04:24 PM   #30
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I'm just curious, does your daughter have a lot of allergy problems or is this a precautionary step?

I have a lot of thoughts running through my head, let's see if I can sort them out...
I think that the difference between your mother and you, is that she has had two kids and is a bit more relaxed in her role. I doubt she thought it would be a big deal to feed your daughter that cheerio because odds are it would be fine, especially if she's had something similar to it. I guess that isn't really the issue though, I think if she wants to spend time with your daughter she needs to respect your rules. And tell her that!

I understand how hard it is not to be overprotective. I think you and your wife need to be strict about the things that really matter but maybe you also need to relax a little bit too (which will come with time). Just wait until you come home and your daughter has a big bruise on her forehead, it will be hard not to blame who was watching her but accidents happen, no matter how much you hover and how much you protect.

I think if you don't lay down the rules with your mom now, this will continue. Maybe it won't be this same situation, but she will be letting your daughter stay up without her nap or feeding her cake before dinner but at the same time ask yourself if it would really be so bad if she went a day without her nap?
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