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Old 09-27-2005, 12:09 PM   #51
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Like I said, she probably didn't think it would be that big of a deal, especially if your daughter has had something similar to what she was giving her. And at least, she didn't lie to you about it and tell you she didn't give your daughter anything out of the ordinary. Be glad that she's honest with you rather than keeping things from you. I think PA is right, tell your mom how appreciative you are for her without saying you're sorry.

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Old 09-27-2005, 04:26 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by SizzlininIN
I don't want you to think by my not responding I don't care about your situation but having lost my mother last year I'd gladly let her give my child his first drink of pop again even though I thought it was a little too soon.
I'm with you Sizz, I loved my mum to pieces and she died when my youngest was 2 so I would let her feed Erin bugs if I could have her back.

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Old 09-28-2005, 12:12 AM   #53
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You've received lots of good advice. I would add one more thought.

Let it go.

Just let it go.

I think your point has been made - hug your mom, love your wife and enjoy your daughter but let this one go.

Be happy that you have a loving family and just let this one thing go.


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Old 09-28-2005, 01:28 AM   #54
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No advice.. just a hug sent across the states.
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Old 09-29-2005, 12:48 PM   #55
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GB, sorry you are feeling badly. I have no advice, but merely my personal observation about relationships/relatives/family - We (?) seem to treat and react differently to others, than we would our relatives/family etc. It is easier to say to a non-relative "These are my wishes, please respect them." When it comes to family, I think the "rule book" is thrown out the window.

There was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond on TV last night, where the couple was trying to be "nicer" to one another. In the end, the "normal" responses/reactions "won out." Not comparing your situation to a TV sitcom, but guess it's just part of life. My personal solution when it comes to family/relatives - move as far away as possible - leave no forwarding address. Hope you know this is partly tongue-in-cheek, and an attempt to help you feel better.
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Old 09-29-2005, 01:08 PM   #56
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Awww, GeeBee - What a mess! My thoughts (for what they're worth) -

I think our parents' generation were less concerned with diet and infants; after all, there were far fewer allergies, and far less potentially contaminated food for the wee ones to get into. So the remark from your mom, 'so sue me' may have come from a place where she just thought you were 'making much ado about nothing'. I'm not making excuses for her; it was a flip comment that showed no respect for you or your wife.

Re should you apologize - (since I'm rather a hothead, I've done this once or twice myself! ) - If you feel a need to apologize to keep the family dynamics in one piece, then just apologize for blowing up at her - NOT what it was you were upset about in the first place.

Then - if by now you're still keeping mom as a babysitter, I'd suggest instead of leaving notes all the time, that the 3 of you sit down; perhaps have a little notebook ready that's been tabbed with headings like feeding/dressing/sleeping/ etc., with your notes in it. Go over everything in the notebook, to make sure everyone's on the 'same page' about what to do and not to do.

Heck, I can remember having huge fights with MIL about breastfeeding my kids; 'how did I know how much they were getting? - Isn't he eating too often? - and the worst - just let him cry, it's good for him!' Thank goodness for me, she was just visiting from a place way, way far away!!!

(((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))) to you and your wife and beautiful little girl!
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Old 09-29-2005, 01:13 PM   #57
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LOL Mish, we joke about Everybody Loves Raymond all the time because when we talk about moving my mother says that they will move too so they are always close to us.

OK here is an update...

I have been fuming about this whole situation, trying to decide what to do. I decided to take the advice of the people here who said to apologize for yelling, but I did not feel like I should have to make the first move. While I have been fuming about this I realized one of the reasons I am still so mad at her. She had yet to apologize to my wife. Regardless of what she and I went through she should have at the very least said she was sorry to my wife.

I am a mess. I have not slept well since this happened. Anytime I do not have something like work occupying my mind (and even sometimes when I do) I am going over this again and again in my head. My wife is the same way. I have no doubt that my mom and dad are experiencing much the same thing. To make matters worse (or maybe better), my grandparents are coming up from Florida next week and will be spending the Jewish holidays with us. There is no way we can hang out with everyone in the same room as mom and pretend everything is normal. My wife came to me in tears this morning and said we need to do something. I called my dad and asked if they could both come over Fri night. He and I talked for about an hour. He has tried to discuss this a little with mom, but they really haven't talked much about it. He said he would call her and ask if they would come over to talk on Friday. I get a call back from him a few minutes later, without an answer. She was too busy at work to discuss it, but was upset that I didn't call her. She was also upset that I picked Fri. She said I was inconvieniecing her by picking that day. That got me so angry. I reached out to try to end this. She could have called me, but was mad at me because I didn't call her. I never demanded we meet on Friday, I merely offered it as a day we could meet. She is just looking for things to fight about now. But I am going to let all of that go, because it is not worth bringing up with her. She finally agreed to meet Fri so we will see what happens. I am sure, whatever happens, this will be all over with tomorrow. Wish me luck.
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Old 09-29-2005, 01:26 PM   #58
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Good Luck, I for one dont like families to fued.
Also For got to mention, Wife found out yesterday we are having a boy!!
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Old 09-29-2005, 01:55 PM   #59
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Good luck GB! I hope it all turns out well for your family!

And congrats to Earlzach!
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Old 09-29-2005, 02:06 PM   #60
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Good luck GB - ok, I erased everything I wrote because I'm sure you're tired of the whole thing - it's not fun to have a family issue like this weigh on our lives. Good luck tomorrow {{{{{{GB and MrsGB}}}}}}.


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