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Old 12-07-2007, 04:53 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bob View Post
It is never wrong to reach out with love and caring, or kindness and a gentle spirit even if it is rebuked. "A soft answer......." Always take the High road. Let others find the road they must travel.

I still vote for phone call over e-mail given those two choices. Whether to bring up the "gifts' and say anything, only you know what you are comfortable with.
I say the same thing. A phone call to me shows that you have courage and want to actually confront the issue and get things done and put it on the table. Email and texting has no emotion behind it. It doesnt allow the soul to dig deep for what really counts and for the true emotions a person wants to share.

EDIT

wow im a day late on this one. Well at least you did something rather than ignore it. I congratulate you on that. Best of luck and im outa here. gotta go to school
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Old 12-08-2007, 09:14 AM   #42
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Strong message

LEFSElover: The words that 'jumped' off the page for me, were,

It dawned on me that I can be [and am] bigger than this problem. More so, so is the One that lead me in the right direction, which was to not hit send when I'd originally written that email.

There are times when the thoughts I have seem not to be my own. My human nature would have told her to 'just wait and see if I send her something again'. But when you take your anger and problems to the One who knows BOTH of you, it just changes the whole picture. This happened regarding my dear mothers funeral. Everyone expected a breakdown and I was actually smiling. I knew where my mother was and how could I have been sad. I never ever would have thought how it all happened.

I thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, very personal. Anyone who reads them should be moved to look at their own life and wonder if they themselves are doing their best, in other words 'being the bigger than the problem'? Your words are so precious to me. They have such love and understanding, I, myself, wonder if I could have been as loving as you. As I have said, it really hurts but you just removed the pain when you expressed your 'inner thoughts'.

I know you and your family are being blessed and I wish it to only grow more strong with each day. This season has truly brought you the love that it is meant to do. Bless all of you .
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Old 12-08-2007, 04:15 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by In the Kitchen View Post
LEFSElover: The words that 'jumped' off the page for me, were,

It dawned on me that I can be [and am] bigger than this problem. More so, so is the One that lead me in the right direction, which was to not hit send when I'd originally written that email.

There are times when the thoughts I have seem not to be my own. My human nature would have told her to 'just wait and see if I send her something again'. But when you take your anger and problems to the One who knows BOTH of you, it just changes the whole picture. This happened regarding my dear mothers funeral. Everyone expected a breakdown and I was actually smiling. I knew where my mother was and how could I have been sad. I never ever would have thought how it all happened.

I thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, very personal. Anyone who reads them should be moved to look at their own life and wonder if they themselves are doing their best, in other words 'being the bigger than the problem'? Your words are so precious to me. They have such love and understanding, I, myself, wonder if I could have been as loving as you. As I have said, it really hurts but you just removed the pain when you expressed your 'inner thoughts'.I know you and your family are being blessed and I wish it to only grow more strong with each day. This season has truly brought you the love that it is meant to do. Bless all of you .
God love you and God bless you, very kind of you to say the things you did here.
I have a very strong faith, very strong. God has blessed me in so many ways but as I've said in the past, He's not done with me yet. I pitty those who have no faith because who is their ''go to'' person? A person that sits higher up on the chain of brilliance than they themselves?
I can take the higher road but almost didn't. See? We're all falable. And we all need additional help from others possibley put there by Him anyway...{?}
Blessings to you....
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Old 01-16-2008, 05:40 PM   #44
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Update as of today, 1/16/08

Today, I sent the email. I wrote it, sent it to my husband for an okay of sorts, he called and I read it to him as he wasn't at his desk.
He said, "send it,there's nothing wrong with what you said and if she finds fault with it, that's her problem."
So, I did.
I've not heard from her since I wrote this origianl thread, except around Christmas when we got our token visit. Not from her, but from DS and his 2 DD's.
She came over later, as he called her and told her she should. I'd made a big dinner expecting them, but then, it's all I did was expect, they'd never said they were actually coming for dinner or she was actually coming at all. They said, they'd be there, so foolishly, I just assumed.
So, after much praying [I'm sure He's now bored with me and rightfully so] I wrote today, wishing a belated birthday greeting. We'd sent her her present to arrive before her day.
I've not heard if she got it, but am relatively sure she did. [I sent a box to our other son the same day, also via FED EX, they live in the same city, and he got his.]
I've never heard a thing from her about Christmas and if she liked what she got or not.
I've never heard still about that gift I'd sent to our unborn little guy either.
I never heard what days I should plan on coming to babysit, therefore, now, my schedule is full for the month and the babysitting can't so won't happen.
The email brought up not sitting and never hearing if she got the baby's gift or not. Yea, I did put her on the spot but at this point and after a conversation I had last week with our youngest son, I decided it was a worthwhile thing to write to her and maybe she'd come around. If not, I'm moving to Egypt.
After I bored you all with this plight of mine, I wanted to just give you this update.
I know many will say, gad, get over it. It's just a little hard for me to deal with this when much other stuff goes on too.
Again, GIG.......I also know LG&LG.........as well as BSAKTIAG..........and I'll continue counting on Him for support and an end to this drama...
No need to comment, just wanted to let you know of the latest outcome. There isn't one...so far, but I know things are in the works somehow...
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Old 01-16-2008, 06:32 PM   #45
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I am new to the forum and just found this thread today. I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and your daughter-in-law in this situation. I have confidence that the Lord can do a work in her heart and soften it towards you.

I just gave birth to my only son this past fall and I was just talking with my mil about the love between a mother and a son. I know there will come a day when there will be another woman in his life and I can only be praying now that she will welcome me with the same love that I will have for her. My heart breaks for you that this is a strained relationship.
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Old 01-16-2008, 09:57 PM   #46
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You know, she is a *****. Like or dislike, love or hate there are simple rules. You get a present like it or not you say thank you. She is simply rude. But your son lives with her and I hope they ar happy. And live it at that. Don't say anything not to her and for sure not to him. You are a good person.
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Old 01-16-2008, 10:33 PM   #47
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Just keep doing what your doing whether she appreciates it or not hopefully she will come around but if she does not just keep doing what you you do as it is coming from the heart if she can't see it then there is nothing more you can do but I can guarantee you as the grand kids get older they will notice what you are doing. What is her relationship with her her parents like? That might give you a clue to her behavior.
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Old 01-17-2008, 01:12 AM   #48
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Hi,
I think you must make a call as voice is one of the most effective way to convey your feeling somebody . I hope you will be doing that .
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Old 01-17-2008, 07:58 AM   #49
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I think you are going to have to switch off a bit from your DIL - mentally - as it is only you that is obviously suffering here. For whatever reasons, you and she behave differently - and I am not judging anyone, just saying. Think of it a bit like peak hour traffic - you would like it to be different, but it is what it is, and worrying about it won't change a thing. Keep on doing the motherly/grandmotherly things and anything else you are comfortable doing, and if she fits in with it, great, if not, ce la vie. Don't let her actions/inactions, change you. And every so often pick up the phone and just say a quick hi. In and out. She might mellow with it. Never know. Be peaceful for your own sake.
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Old 01-17-2008, 08:17 AM   #50
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I agree with Bibly on this. You need to step away, keep contact with your son and grandbabies and when and only when she is ready to be a daughter forget and forgive. I know it won't be easy but then nothing in this world worth a hill of beans is, is it? Until then, know that you have God and your family here at DC on your side. Faith and Love with lots of hugs. :>) Dawn
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