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Old 05-29-2007, 04:33 PM   #11
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Angie, call him. Find out if your suspicions are true. Then let your conscience guide you. What would you want someone to do for you in that position?
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Old 05-29-2007, 04:37 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angie
As most of you know, I'm treatment for prescription drug abuse/addict. I didn't go today since I was waiting to hear on a job (which I got!). I ran some errands and came home to a message form someone in my treatment. He was concerned and wanted to know if I was OK.

I called him back and just got off the phone with him.

He is an alcoholic.

He was drunk just now. He didn't admit to it, but he was severly slurring his words.

My dilemna: Do I report this? He is a friend and I don't want to make him mad, but he needs to be sober!

I'm already waiting on a call back from my counselor. I'm not sure if I should tell her about this.

Any thoughts?
Very simply, tell your friend you will not speak to him or see him, when he is under the influence. If he is, & calls, hang up. Set boundaries. No reporting. You make it clear, you are focused on YOUR recovery. & can only be responsible for yourself - not what you think someone else needs to do. I would cut all ties with this person, because you are in recovery. Suggest, he call his sponsor.
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Old 05-29-2007, 05:07 PM   #13
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Well, he is not answering his phone. Dang it. This is so hard.
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Old 05-29-2007, 05:20 PM   #14
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I agree with Caine and call his sponsor !
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Old 05-29-2007, 05:43 PM   #15
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He doesn't have a sponsor yet....

I've only known him for 4 weeks, just through treatment.
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Old 05-29-2007, 06:31 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mish
Very simply, tell your friend you will not speak to him or see him, when he is under the influence. If he is, & calls, hang up. Set boundaries. No reporting. You make it clear, you are focused on YOUR recovery. & can only be responsible for yourself - not what you think someone else needs to do. I would cut all ties with this person, because you are in recovery. Suggest, he call his sponsor.
exactly the point i was trying to make.

u need to worry about YOUR recovery. forget everything else. he has clearly made his decision...dont let HIS MISTAKE pull you back into something you have just pulled yourself out of.

just think to yourself... "if i were lindsey lohan, what would i do...?"...and then do the COMPLETE OPPOSITE!!

now thats some sage advise...im gettin me some 'sperience in me old age!
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Old 05-29-2007, 07:41 PM   #17
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So if I understand it correctly, you are not his sponsor, but just a friend right?

I do not know that right answer, but I guess if I were in your shoes what I would do is tell him you suspect he was drunk and that you do not approve. Encourage him to fess up to his counselor or sponsor or whoever it is that he needs to tell it to. Tell him that you will be there to support him (if you will), but that he needs to fess up.

Congrats on your new job. That is great news!!!
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Old 05-29-2007, 07:53 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GB
So if I understand it correctly, you are not his sponsor, but just a friend right?

I do not know that right answer, but I guess if I were in your shoes what I would do is tell him you suspect he was drunk and that you do not approve. Encourage him to fess up to his counselor or sponsor or whoever it is that he needs to tell it to. Tell him that you will be there to support him (if you will), but that he needs to fess up.

Congrats on your new job. That is great news!!!
Correct, I am not his sponsor. I only know him through my outpatient rehab/treatment. I will see him tomorrow at rehab and will confront him.

Thanks everyone for your input!
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Old 05-29-2007, 07:54 PM   #19
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I agree with Mish also. I'm sorry to say that I've had quite a bit of experience with this sort of thing through friends and family members.

This is one time you must be absolutely selfish...you have to concentrate all your energy on getting yourself well. You cannot afford to have anyone pulling you down, and that is exactly what will happen if you let this guy latch on to your sympathy.

If I were you, I'd discuss it with your counselor, if for no other reason than the fact that it is bothering you.

Take care of yourself, hang tough, and remember that there isn't anything (reasonable) you can't do if you try hard enough.
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Old 05-29-2007, 09:58 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mish
Very simply, tell your friend you will not speak to him or see him, when he is under the influence. If he is, & calls, hang up. Set boundaries. No reporting. You make it clear, you are focused on YOUR recovery. & can only be responsible for yourself - not what you think someone else needs to do. I would cut all ties with this person, because you are in recovery. Suggest, he call his sponsor.
This would be my advice as well. Focus on yourself.
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