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Old 05-30-2007, 06:22 AM   #21
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Mish gave you the best advice. Please take care of yourself first.
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Old 05-30-2007, 07:53 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barb L.
I would say no - I would be there for support and a sounding board. He needs a friend he can count on. He is the only one that can change things- and be determined to want a better life for himself.
I agree with Barb. Be his friend but don't let him drag you down with him. This requires such strength on your part. Remeber though you CANNOT make his choices. Only he can do that.
Obviously you are an extremely caring person but be wise as well. Don't be 'used'
Brilliant news about your job.
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Old 05-30-2007, 11:13 AM   #23
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I would talk to your own counselor and say just what you heard, he was slurring his speech and that made you concerned about him with his history of drinking. We teach our kids to seek help for friends when they are in trouble by sharing with a trusted adult. How is this different? I know he is "of age" and should be made responsible for his actions but if you ignore his behavior then you are enabling his behavior. I agree that you need to set some boundaries with him next time you speak. Let him know that if he calls you again and appears drunk to you, you will "turn him in" and will not continue any conversation while he is in that condition. Yes you must concentrate on your own recovery but also you need to do something. Think about what you would want your friends to do if it was you falling off the wagon and then follow your heart.
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:12 PM   #24
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Here is the update.

This morning before group he was smoking a cigarette with another member. I went over to talk to them and he said he left me a message yesterday and was wondering why I wasn't there. I told him that I called him back and he started complaining about his dang phone not working right. He demanded a hug from me..he didn't seem quite right either. Way too upity and also on edge or something.

Then, during "group" today, one of the members said that he smelled of alcohol. He got very defensive and said "I'll drop" (urine analysis). Someone else said they could smell alcohol on him as well, and he said he could smell pot in the room. Then it was break time. We went outside to smoke. I pulled him aside and told him that I did talk to him yesterday, that I knew he wasn't sober and that he was slurring his words. To that, he said it was NOT alcohol, it must be the pain killers. I asked what pain killers he was on, and he said he took a couple of Xanax. I let it go because I was pretty sure he was not sober. Xanax is NOT a pain killer.

We got back from break and our facilitator has contacted his counselor. He had to drop a UA.

So....After group I went to the office to schedule my next appointment with my counselor. He was a good 20 feel behind me and had to make a point to tell me good bye and give me puppy dog eyes.

I told my counselor. I didn't give his name or even say if it was a he or she. My counselor knew exactly who I was talking about.

He's also been kinda creeping me out..invading my personal space, calling me sweetie, cutie, honey, always needing hugs...and he is always staring at me.

Tomorrow is my last day of group with him. Next week I have to switch to nights since I start my new job.
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:23 PM   #25
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Miss Angie...

Your caring personality is obvious and admirable. Now listen to "Dr" Uncle Bob. Move on with your life and leave this individual of questionable character behind you. Begin your new job and new life with shoulders back and head high!! We are all behind you 100% and we are all proud of your accomplishments! Now you go girl!!!
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:26 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bob
Miss Angie...

Your caring personality is obvious and admirable. Now listen to "Dr" Uncle Bob. Move on with your life and leave this individual of questionable character behind you. Begin your new job and new life with shoulders back and head high!! We are all behind you 100% and we are all proud of your accomplishments! Now you go girl!!!
Thanks Doc!
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:29 PM   #27
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it`s not Your place to be His conscience for him and get Yourself stressed!

you should find out the facts 1`st, and if your suspicions are correct then encourage him to tell the truth (he`s not the 1`st nor will he be the Last to have a stumble!).

if he fails to do so you can rest easy Knowing that you done all you can, if he does tell the truth then he will get help for this a little differently and more tailored to his requirements.

either way, you don`t lose sleep over this, and he gets more Data :)
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