I need some personal advice please

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Angie

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As most of you know, I'm treatment for prescription drug abuse/addict. I didn't go today since I was waiting to hear on a job (which I got!). I ran some errands and came home to a message form someone in my treatment. He was concerned and wanted to know if I was OK.

I called him back and just got off the phone with him.

He is an alcoholic.

He was drunk just now. He didn't admit to it, but he was severly slurring his words.

My dilemna: Do I report this? He is a friend and I don't want to make him mad, but he needs to be sober!

I'm already waiting on a call back from my counselor. I'm not sure if I should tell her about this.

Any thoughts?
 
im no pro...but why dont you ask him if he is drunk? i wouldnt report him with out at the very LEAST doing that!
 
Definitelly. You should. Even though it is AA, somebody needs to help this person. Better yet ask your counselor she will be more qualified to answer your question. Just do not use the name of the person before getting an answer. Ask a hypothetical question first. Oh, yeah, and be prepare for that person to be upset with you.
 
I am thinking about calling him back to ask him. I went to one AA meeting with him (four are required for this rehab program) and the night before that he drank as well. The next time we had treatment, he came clean to everyone. Now he's drinking again.
 
I would say no - I would be there for support and a sounding board. He needs a friend he can count on. He is the only one that can change things- and be determined to want a better life for himself.
 
Angie, ask him the tough question and if the answer is yes, encourage him to be the one to 'fess up.
 
it sounds like he already did fess up. if thats the case...there isnt much u, or any one else can do...hes gotta do the *not drinking* part on his own. all u can do is support him while hes doing that.

if you re-habbing succesfully, and hes decided to drink..i would stay far away from him if i were you.

but thats just me...and as i said b4, im no pro.
 
mugsy27 said:
if you re-habbing succesfully, and hes decided to drink..i would stay far away from him if i were you.

but thats just me...and as i said b4, im no pro.

Starting next week I wont be in rehab with him. I got a job and will have to switch to the evening outpatient rehab.

I'm still torn. I'm not helping him any by NOT saying anything..I honestly think he needs to go through hospital detox and then inpatient treatment.
 
Angie, call him. Find out if your suspicions are true. Then let your conscience guide you. What would you want someone to do for you in that position?
 
Angie said:
As most of you know, I'm treatment for prescription drug abuse/addict. I didn't go today since I was waiting to hear on a job (which I got!). I ran some errands and came home to a message form someone in my treatment. He was concerned and wanted to know if I was OK.

I called him back and just got off the phone with him.

He is an alcoholic.

He was drunk just now. He didn't admit to it, but he was severly slurring his words.

My dilemna: Do I report this? He is a friend and I don't want to make him mad, but he needs to be sober!

I'm already waiting on a call back from my counselor. I'm not sure if I should tell her about this.

Any thoughts?

Very simply, tell your friend you will not speak to him or see him, when he is under the influence. If he is, & calls, hang up. Set boundaries. No reporting. You make it clear, you are focused on YOUR recovery. & can only be responsible for yourself - not what you think someone else needs to do. I would cut all ties with this person, because you are in recovery. Suggest, he call his sponsor.
 
Last edited:
He doesn't have a sponsor yet....

I've only known him for 4 weeks, just through treatment.
 
mish said:
Very simply, tell your friend you will not speak to him or see him, when he is under the influence. If he is, & calls, hang up. Set boundaries. No reporting. You make it clear, you are focused on YOUR recovery. & can only be responsible for yourself - not what you think someone else needs to do. I would cut all ties with this person, because you are in recovery. Suggest, he call his sponsor.

exactly the point i was trying to make.

u need to worry about YOUR recovery. forget everything else. he has clearly made his decision...dont let HIS MISTAKE pull you back into something you have just pulled yourself out of.

just think to yourself... "if i were lindsey lohan, what would i do...?"...and then do the COMPLETE OPPOSITE!!

now thats some sage advise...im gettin me some 'sperience in me old age! :cool:
 
So if I understand it correctly, you are not his sponsor, but just a friend right?

I do not know that right answer, but I guess if I were in your shoes what I would do is tell him you suspect he was drunk and that you do not approve. Encourage him to fess up to his counselor or sponsor or whoever it is that he needs to tell it to. Tell him that you will be there to support him (if you will), but that he needs to fess up.

Congrats on your new job. That is great news!!!
 
GB said:
So if I understand it correctly, you are not his sponsor, but just a friend right?

I do not know that right answer, but I guess if I were in your shoes what I would do is tell him you suspect he was drunk and that you do not approve. Encourage him to fess up to his counselor or sponsor or whoever it is that he needs to tell it to. Tell him that you will be there to support him (if you will), but that he needs to fess up.

Congrats on your new job. That is great news!!!

Correct, I am not his sponsor. I only know him through my outpatient rehab/treatment. I will see him tomorrow at rehab and will confront him.

Thanks everyone for your input!
 
I agree with Mish also. I'm sorry to say that I've had quite a bit of experience with this sort of thing through friends and family members.

This is one time you must be absolutely selfish...you have to concentrate all your energy on getting yourself well. You cannot afford to have anyone pulling you down, and that is exactly what will happen if you let this guy latch on to your sympathy.

If I were you, I'd discuss it with your counselor, if for no other reason than the fact that it is bothering you.

Take care of yourself, hang tough, and remember that there isn't anything (reasonable) you can't do if you try hard enough.
 
mish said:
Very simply, tell your friend you will not speak to him or see him, when he is under the influence. If he is, & calls, hang up. Set boundaries. No reporting. You make it clear, you are focused on YOUR recovery. & can only be responsible for yourself - not what you think someone else needs to do. I would cut all ties with this person, because you are in recovery. Suggest, he call his sponsor.

This would be my advice as well. Focus on yourself.
 
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