If you speak truth women will not belive you.
A married man and his secretary are having an affair.
They decide to leave the office early and go to the secretary's appartment for an afternoon of ......., whatever its called.
They fall asleep and don't wake up till 8 PM later that night.
They quickly get dressed and the man asks the secretary to take his shoes and go and rub them in the grass.
The secretary thinks this is pretty weird, but she does it anyway.
The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door.
The wife's very upset and asks, "Where the **** have you been?"
The husband replies, "I was taught in school that truth is very painful, but it sets you free, so I will not tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair, we left work early today, went to her appartment, made love all afternoon, and then we fell asleep. That's why I'm late!!"
The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and says, "I see those grass stains all over your shoes. You've been playing golf again, haven't you?"