I'd be just another in their seemingly endless line of, as Anthony Bourdain put it, "talking bobbleheads" and doing some pointless show that was light on cooking and heavy on fluff. Why? Because that's what the programmers would tell me to do.
Which is why I could never be that person :(. I'm a little too hardcore for Food Network these days. Well, that and I just can't bring myself to make a fake orgasm face just off eating some restaurant's food. If I had a cooking show and could do whatever I wanted though, I'd focus on advanced-level cuisine. It'd probably be classified as "Gathering meals", because they'd be so involved and time consuming you'd only do them for special occasions.
That's the biggest thing I miss about cable from the 90's: There were a number of shows out there that covered really advanced topics for serious hobbyists and chefs. Now it's all about trying to convince someone who can open a couple of boxes and combine some stuff in a kitchen for 15 minutes that they're really cooks. Master Class @ Johnson & Wales got a bit into "the good stuff", and Hubert Keller had his own show for a while not too far back, but otherwise television has been really devoid of high quality *true* culinary creation. Simply Ming is about the only show that even (sometimes) attempts it at this point--and you've really gotta scour PB stations to find it.