i finally got to see him last night. he didn't look as bad as i thought he would, but he couldn't speak for more than a few minutes at a time. he kept fading in and out of consciousness.
we talked about what happened to our friendship, but it was a little difficult to do it in short bursts. there was a lot to cover. but mostly it was that we were both sorry for having let things go. i think he understands a little better about why i stopped speaking to him, and that i feel terribly about how i handled this. unfortunately, while the basis for our falling out was due to his uncontrolled drug use and other issues, a lot of it had to do with his ex-wife. he's still in touch with her since her kids (from a previous marriage. ozzy adopted them when they got married) still live with him. also, she lives only a few blocks away. she's a loser of the first sort, so he and his dad (it's his dad's house) did the right thing and had the kids stay with them when she moved out after the divorce.
ozzy's dad is a great guy, like my second dad. he's been the town's boy scout leader for 30+ years, since we were scouts. it's funny; chatting with him last night when ozzy fell asleep was just like we were 12 again, at a scout meeting. somehow the conversation turned into some interesting trivia about john paul jones and the american revolution. i really missed that.
i'm gonna have to deal with the situation with his ex at some point. i hope i don't strangle her. i know i can't directly blame her, but i keep thinking if ozzy had never met her, he'd probasbly wouldn't have gotten back into drugs after he cleaned up the first time in his late 20's.
well, the good news is that ozzy's being tested 9 ways to sunday now, so they can try different treatments to get the old heart to keep going as long as possible, and to be ready if a transplant becomes available.
at least he's much more comfortable. he's still inches from death, but there's still hope.
i'd really like to believe that it's due in part to the love and energy that you all have sent his way. thank you from, umm, the bottom of my