"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 11-29-2006, 06:05 AM   #1
Executive Chef
 
VeraBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: northern NJ
Posts: 3,683
Angry I'm moving to a teepee

I can no longer navigate the sharp angles and corners of my home without doing some sort of bodily damage to myself.

This is an old home, built in 1917 in a little town who's main purpose back in the 1800's was to ferry people across a small river to the other side so they could get closer to NYC. Oh, and being on a riverbank, we have really great soil, so there were lots of brick making businesses back then, too. In fact, the first african american woman, a freed slave, I believe, to own a business owned a brick making business here. Anyway....the point it, small town, narrow streets, small but tall homes, small rooms, but really great solid wood doors and hammered brass doorknobs.

What kind of person buys a home because she loves the doorknobs?? Restoration sells doorknobs by the thousands and I could have gotten all the **** hammered brass doorknobs I wanted and put them on doors in a home with bigger rooms......yes?

I digress.

I like to have furniture in my home. Unfortunately, the furniture takes up space...enough space that walking, for me, at least, through a room is like walking above a mine field on a tightrope without an umbrella. Let me mention here that I am a pisces. I was never really meant to walk, anyway. I should have fins and be swimming everywhere. I should also mention that I never broke a toe swimming.

Now you see where I'm going with all this talk of ferries, bricks, doorknobs and teepees. In the past three years I have broken my little toe three times. The latest being last night. The prior time was just 3 months ago. It seems the furniture I love so much has it in for me. At this time, the living room seems to be my biggest problem, but I see the dining room looking on jealously, wanting desperately to get in on the action. There is a table, 6 chairs, a hutch, an antique water basin stand and an antique type cabinet cart that I just know have been whispering when I am out of earshot. I can tell because they all shut up and look at the ceiling everytime I walk in the room. The living room doesn't even bother with trying to hide their contempt. That room's furniture is laughing their collective a$$es off. I am convinced that last night, the sofa moved an inch to the left just as I leaned down to pick a ginger ale bottle off the coffee table. (please don't even ask why I had a ginger ale bottle on the coffee table in the first place).

So, now, I see danger all around me. If it's not the antique magazine box, it's the coffee table. If it's not the ottoman, it's the deacon's bench. If it's not the knewel post on the stairs, it's one of those solid wooden doors.
I spent an hour last night with an ice bag on my foot, surfing the web. I heard the coffee table snickering and decided that would be the first thing to go. I need a coffee table that is about 36 inches long and only 3 inches across!! Then perhaps, I could manage to get between it and the television. That's when it dawned on me....get a round home, and a teepee came to mind. I don't recall native americans have much in the way of furniture to manuver around. I think they just had to worry about the big hole in the ground that was filled with fire. I don't think I have a problem with firey holes. It's just the furniture and those ridiculous wooden doors with the quaint hammered brass doorknobs.

I'm off to the prairie.

__________________

__________________
How can we sleep while our beds are burning???
VeraBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 07:07 AM   #2
Head Chef
 
ronjohn55's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,080
You're moving to Tempe?!?!?!?

Oh... wait.... a teepee...

I can feel for you VB. Our house was built in 1919, when, as a friend in the neighborhood put it "Plum, flush, and level were still radical concepts that were getting people burned at the stake!".

And yes, I know that laughter. I heard it in the living room the whole time we were replacing one of the walls.

John
__________________

__________________

ronjohn55 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 07:13 AM   #3
Assistant Cook
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 4
So that's what's going on in my house (ca. 1896)! Thanks for enlightening a newbie.
__________________
Mimi J. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 08:04 AM   #4
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,977
May I suggest one of these...? Veryan village is close to the one we visit each year in Cornwall. These roundhouses were built quite a long time ago by the local vicar, who built 4 of them, two at each end the village... No corners so the devil couldn't lurk within!

http://www.cornwallonview.com/produc...roducts_id=635
__________________
Ishbel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 08:14 AM   #5
Head Chef
 
Shunka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: USA,Arizona
Posts: 1,023
Oh Vera!!! I can feel your pain!!!! I went through about 5-7 years where I always had at least one broken toe every year. If I didn't slam a toe into something, then something dropped on them. One time I spun a "brody" on one of my big toes when it got caught up in the fringe on a bedspread; dislocated it in 2 places. Maybe I have out-grown that phase, haven't broken a toe in the last 10 years or so; hope I'm not jinxing myself!!!
__________________
Polly aka Shunka....the Def Leppard crazy in AZ!!
Shunka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 09:22 AM   #6
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 665
Steel-toe boots would be cheaper ...
__________________
XeniA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 10:32 AM   #7
Executive Chef
 
Half Baked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,927
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ayrton
Steel-toe boots would be cheaper ...
That'll show that furniture just who's boss!
__________________
Jan
Please spay and neuter your pets. The Animal Rescue Site
Half Baked is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 10:40 AM   #8
Certified Pretend Chef
 
Andy M.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 41,351
Vera, I think Ishbel touched on the truth. You need an exorcism to stop the furniture from jumping into your path as you go by.
__________________
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
Andy M. is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 11:02 AM   #9
Master Chef
 
Constance's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Illiniois
Posts: 8,175
Oh, Vera, I feel for you. I'm still nursing a toe that I tangled up in the roller of a secretary's chair a few weeks ago. It sliced the toenail at the base, and darned near cut the end of my toe off. It's the same toe I broke 3 times in 3 months one winter.

Ayrton, do those steel-toed boots come in red?
__________________
We get by with a little help from our friends
Constance is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2006, 11:53 AM   #10
Sous Chef
 
Harborwitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: landlocked
Posts: 516
Oh I can sooooooo relate! It is 8' from the front edge of the galley counter to the far (FAR) wall of the livingroom. There's a double fouton on the livingroom wall - which becomes a bed at night. At that point there is about 10" between the edge of the bed and the galley counter. There's a baby gate between the main "living area" and the mud room/hanging locker (closet)/dressing room/pantry/head (bathroom) (the baby gate is to keep the 4 pugs from getting into that room and eating the cat's food). (That area takes up a good 10' x 6' area) The freezer is ontop of the linen cupboard - one must be careful that when one opens the freezer something does not fly out and clobber you - still have a knot on the back of my head from a frozen lasagna that landed on my head while I was trying to pick up the bag of frozen veggies the flew out and landed on my foot.

I have permanent bruises on my legs where the fouton reaches out and slaps me. Last night I was cooking dinner - forgot to close the cupboard over the sink while I was making the dressing for the cabbage. A gust of wind hit about the same time a small wave hit - a jar flew out of the cupboard - missing my head by bare millimeters and smashed a china plate sitting on the cutting board over the sink. Did I mention that this whole thing tends to rock - a measuring cup flew off the hook the other night and landed up against the entertainment center () 4' away! The TV hangs out about 6" into the walkway to the mud room. It taps me on the shoulder frequently. The booze is located in a place that is almost impossible for anyone under 6' tall to reach without pulling things and doing bodily injury.

Did I mention that the entire living area is 210 sq feet???? Luckily the shower is tiny - no danger of falling when the boat is rocking - unless you go through the shower curtain and bung your knee on the toilet which would also (more than likely) also take out your hipbone on the sink at the same time. Yup I can relate!
__________________

__________________
I'm just lookin' for my "cheese"!
http://cookafloat.blogspot.com
Harborwitch is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.