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Old 11-29-2006, 05:05 AM   #1
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Angry I'm moving to a teepee

I can no longer navigate the sharp angles and corners of my home without doing some sort of bodily damage to myself.

This is an old home, built in 1917 in a little town who's main purpose back in the 1800's was to ferry people across a small river to the other side so they could get closer to NYC. Oh, and being on a riverbank, we have really great soil, so there were lots of brick making businesses back then, too. In fact, the first african american woman, a freed slave, I believe, to own a business owned a brick making business here. Anyway....the point it, small town, narrow streets, small but tall homes, small rooms, but really great solid wood doors and hammered brass doorknobs.

What kind of person buys a home because she loves the doorknobs?? Restoration sells doorknobs by the thousands and I could have gotten all the **** hammered brass doorknobs I wanted and put them on doors in a home with bigger rooms......yes?

I digress.

I like to have furniture in my home. Unfortunately, the furniture takes up space...enough space that walking, for me, at least, through a room is like walking above a mine field on a tightrope without an umbrella. Let me mention here that I am a pisces. I was never really meant to walk, anyway. I should have fins and be swimming everywhere. I should also mention that I never broke a toe swimming.

Now you see where I'm going with all this talk of ferries, bricks, doorknobs and teepees. In the past three years I have broken my little toe three times. The latest being last night. The prior time was just 3 months ago. It seems the furniture I love so much has it in for me. At this time, the living room seems to be my biggest problem, but I see the dining room looking on jealously, wanting desperately to get in on the action. There is a table, 6 chairs, a hutch, an antique water basin stand and an antique type cabinet cart that I just know have been whispering when I am out of earshot. I can tell because they all shut up and look at the ceiling everytime I walk in the room. The living room doesn't even bother with trying to hide their contempt. That room's furniture is laughing their collective a$$es off. I am convinced that last night, the sofa moved an inch to the left just as I leaned down to pick a ginger ale bottle off the coffee table. (please don't even ask why I had a ginger ale bottle on the coffee table in the first place).

So, now, I see danger all around me. If it's not the antique magazine box, it's the coffee table. If it's not the ottoman, it's the deacon's bench. If it's not the knewel post on the stairs, it's one of those solid wooden doors.
I spent an hour last night with an ice bag on my foot, surfing the web. I heard the coffee table snickering and decided that would be the first thing to go. I need a coffee table that is about 36 inches long and only 3 inches across!! Then perhaps, I could manage to get between it and the television. That's when it dawned on me....get a round home, and a teepee came to mind. I don't recall native americans have much in the way of furniture to manuver around. I think they just had to worry about the big hole in the ground that was filled with fire. I don't think I have a problem with firey holes. It's just the furniture and those ridiculous wooden doors with the quaint hammered brass doorknobs.

I'm off to the prairie.


How can we sleep while our beds are burning???
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Old 11-29-2006, 06:07 AM   #2
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You're moving to Tempe?!?!?!?

Oh... wait.... a teepee...

I can feel for you VB. Our house was built in 1919, when, as a friend in the neighborhood put it "Plum, flush, and level were still radical concepts that were getting people burned at the stake!".

And yes, I know that laughter. I heard it in the living room the whole time we were replacing one of the walls.



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Old 11-29-2006, 06:13 AM   #3
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So that's what's going on in my house (ca. 1896)! Thanks for enlightening a newbie.
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Old 11-29-2006, 07:04 AM   #4
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May I suggest one of these...? Veryan village is close to the one we visit each year in Cornwall. These roundhouses were built quite a long time ago by the local vicar, who built 4 of them, two at each end the village... No corners so the devil couldn't lurk within!

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Old 11-29-2006, 07:14 AM   #5
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Oh Vera!!! I can feel your pain!!!! I went through about 5-7 years where I always had at least one broken toe every year. If I didn't slam a toe into something, then something dropped on them. One time I spun a "brody" on one of my big toes when it got caught up in the fringe on a bedspread; dislocated it in 2 places. Maybe I have out-grown that phase, haven't broken a toe in the last 10 years or so; hope I'm not jinxing myself!!!
Polly aka Shunka....the Def Leppard crazy in AZ!!
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Old 11-29-2006, 08:22 AM   #6
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Steel-toe boots would be cheaper ...
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Old 11-29-2006, 09:32 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Ayrton
Steel-toe boots would be cheaper ...
That'll show that furniture just who's boss!
Please spay and neuter your pets. The Animal Rescue Site
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Old 11-29-2006, 09:40 AM   #8
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Vera, I think Ishbel touched on the truth. You need an exorcism to stop the furniture from jumping into your path as you go by.
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:02 AM   #9
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Oh, Vera, I feel for you. I'm still nursing a toe that I tangled up in the roller of a secretary's chair a few weeks ago. It sliced the toenail at the base, and darned near cut the end of my toe off. It's the same toe I broke 3 times in 3 months one winter.

Ayrton, do those steel-toed boots come in red?
We get by with a little help from our friends
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:53 AM   #10
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Oh I can sooooooo relate! It is 8' from the front edge of the galley counter to the far (FAR) wall of the livingroom. There's a double fouton on the livingroom wall - which becomes a bed at night. At that point there is about 10" between the edge of the bed and the galley counter. There's a baby gate between the main "living area" and the mud room/hanging locker (closet)/dressing room/pantry/head (bathroom) (the baby gate is to keep the 4 pugs from getting into that room and eating the cat's food). (That area takes up a good 10' x 6' area) The freezer is ontop of the linen cupboard - one must be careful that when one opens the freezer something does not fly out and clobber you - still have a knot on the back of my head from a frozen lasagna that landed on my head while I was trying to pick up the bag of frozen veggies the flew out and landed on my foot.

I have permanent bruises on my legs where the fouton reaches out and slaps me. Last night I was cooking dinner - forgot to close the cupboard over the sink while I was making the dressing for the cabbage. A gust of wind hit about the same time a small wave hit - a jar flew out of the cupboard - missing my head by bare millimeters and smashed a china plate sitting on the cutting board over the sink. Did I mention that this whole thing tends to rock - a measuring cup flew off the hook the other night and landed up against the entertainment center () 4' away! The TV hangs out about 6" into the walkway to the mud room. It taps me on the shoulder frequently. The booze is located in a place that is almost impossible for anyone under 6' tall to reach without pulling things and doing bodily injury.

Did I mention that the entire living area is 210 sq feet???? Luckily the shower is tiny - no danger of falling when the boat is rocking - unless you go through the shower curtain and bung your knee on the toilet which would also (more than likely) also take out your hipbone on the sink at the same time. Yup I can relate!

I'm just lookin' for my "cheese"!
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