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Old 06-19-2008, 07:02 PM   #481
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will continue to pray, it won't stop, Katie, our hearts are yours.......

...Trials travel best when you're taking the transportation known as prayer...SLRC
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Old 06-19-2008, 07:25 PM   #482
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Katie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Buck seemed like a wonderful man and I know he will be so very missed. Sending you many redkitty hugs.

Accentuate the positives, medicate the negatives ~ Amy Sedaris
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Old 06-19-2008, 07:35 PM   #483
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Originally Posted by Dove View Post
Dear Katie,
don't be surprised if a light turns on for no reason...this happened to me three times. A touch lamp in my bed room and I was at least 12' away from it. Then the floor lamp next to my chair came on with all the lights on high..that should have taken 5 clicks with two different switches. I was falling apart at that time..my sister had flown home and I was alone. i said " Ok Paul, I'll calm down"
I also believe this as I said before he will come in your dreams and let you know he is still with you in spirit and like Dove says he will let you know he is still with you with the little things happening in the house. You will know it when he is letting you know he is there and it will comfort you some to know that. I know my Grand Mother who died when I was only ten years old in Germany came to me many times until I was about 38 years old. I felt her many times when I was chef at a small hotel in the Taos, NM Ski Valley she stopped me from making some major cooking mistakes and I always knew it was her why I knew it I don't know but I just did. She was a fantastic cook while she was alive
"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." - Julia Child
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Old 06-19-2008, 07:44 PM   #484
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I am so sorry for your loss. Buck's passing will leave a void in our lives.
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Old 06-19-2008, 07:57 PM   #485
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still dealing with it. tears constantly near over flowing. babe
"life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain"
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:35 PM   #486
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Mention of the dreams made me remember things forgotten, or maybe just tucked away. Yes, don't fear the dreams and there just might be some other little signs that one can't explain any other way. It's ok Katie. You will be ok.
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Old 06-20-2008, 12:10 AM   #487
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Got home a little while ago. Busy day. Began with going to the funeral home to make all the arrangements. Whoa! Things sure are expensive. There will be no burial, since Buck will be cremated. He'd wanted that. The "urn" I selected is a box made of walnut. I thought it was appropriate since that was his favorite wood to work in. Plus, he'll always be with me.

Chose the pall bearers and selected a casket spray at the florist. It will be a blanket of red roses, with eucalyptus leaves and baby's breath.

Brought his "favorite" clothes for him to wear. He wasn't a "suit" kind of guy, so he'll be wearing a blue and white striped broadcloth shirt and tan pants. The shirt always made his beautiful blue eyes "bluer," and accented his thick white hair.

The rest of the day was spent contacting the Office of Personnel Management to find out about my spousal benefits and to see what kind of life insurance coverage he had.

Looks like I might get hammered by the state of Kentucky because he didn't have a will. Even though almost everything was in both our names, bank accounts can be locked. Just peachy.

Went to my brother's house for supper and had a great time playing with my grandson. Sharp little guy.

Tonight while we were reminiscing, we decided that we should have a birthday party on Sunday for Buck's birthday...complete with cake and ice cream. Everyone loved the idea. We're going to make his favorite cake tomorrow.

The "gifts" of food, etc. began this morning at about 8:30 and hasn't stopped all day. One woman brought a container of homemade spaghetti sauce, 2 boxes of angel hair pasta, 2 large bags of salad greens, a big jar of applesauce, a carton of vanilla ice cream, and 2 homemade pecan pies.

In the middle of the afternoon, someone brought 2 huge barbecued pork butts and a half gallon of barbecue sauce.

I don't know what is on the schedule for tomorrow except that I have to get my music selections to the funeral director. Not too much of a chore since the funeral home is just down the street from here.

Nicole just called to say she and Paul would arrive in Nashville tomorrow about 7:30 p.m. and would rent a car. Should see them about 11 p.m.

Better run and get some shuteye so I can tackle tomorrow.

And, once again, thanks everyone for all your kind comments and support. I can feel it.
"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
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Old 06-20-2008, 01:00 AM   #488
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Katie, the birthday party sounds like something Buck would have planned, too. It's definitely fitting. And his funeral arrangements sound very nice.

My father and my brother were cremated, too, as was my daughter and their ashes are at home with us. It just seemed right and it gives my mother and me comfort to have them with us. I know it will be a comfort to you, too. We also chose wooden urns and had little brass plates made for them so that years down the road, the future generations don't get us mixed up!

I'm sorry Buck didn't have a will because I know what a mess that is. My brother died without a will, too. Start asking around now for an honest and reasonable attorney who can handle probating the estate because you will probably need one. Also, they can help make sure you have access to your bank account in the mean time. This will be really taxing for you when you haven't really had any time to just grieve. Please let us know what you could use help with.

We are all thinking of you and the kids and of course, Buck. Come back when you are ready and we'll be waiting for you.
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Old 06-20-2008, 01:03 AM   #489
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so many details, kate. be sure and get as much rest as you can. don't feel you need to entertain everyone or see that they have food.

though, i am sure it helps to stay busy. the friends and family can take care of themselves. if they offer to help, take that help. you will need all your strength.

this all just still seems so unreal. is it the same for you? we all love you and hope in some small measure, to help.

holding your hand across the miles.

"life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain"
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Old 06-20-2008, 07:53 AM   #490
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Katie, I want to hug you so badly.
I don't understand what the state of Kentucky has to do with your bank account though. Before that happens, is there a way for you to close that one and open another in your name? I just don't understand why you would have ANY trouble when you were legally married, plus, both names on it.

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