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Old 02-21-2007, 01:06 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dove
My honest advice, Find an older woman and do what you can. If a woman doesn't understand that you can only do so much and can't forgive you for something that minute, that she is not worth your time. I'd say, get you ring and necklace back, visit I Do...Now I Don't to sell the ring at a reasonable price and find an older woman! WOO-HOO!!!!!!

Hey Kid...I'm available..LOL LOl LOl
Grandma Dove

"Oh Marge ..... your back....
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Old 02-21-2007, 01:13 AM   #12
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I think I'm one of the younger guys that frequents this site, and I've got to tell you, dating in High School just sucks. There are very few kids at that age who are mature enough to handle a serious, loving relationship. It sounds like you can definitely hold your own, and that you're going to extra mile with the fancy jewelry, and trying to get your days at work switched.

It sounds like she's still just your typical young girl who wants the world to revolve around her. She doesn't see that you guys have been together for a year, or that your hard-earned money goes to get her gifts that are really way to nice to give a HS g/f ( not judging, i'm guilty of the same crime :) What she sees is that you didn't do everything exactly perfectly the way she wanted.

99% of HS relationships fail. I'm not saying yours will, but it sounds like the two of you are in slightly different places. It sounds like you want to be serious, and she just wants someone to call boyfriend. Try to work it out with her, but don't kill yourself trying to make it work if it won't. You have to be realistic about it.


As an aside, when you DO find the girl that you know is the one, never ever let go. The horror stories i hear about dating in college make me so thankful that it worked out with me and my HS g/f.
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Old 02-21-2007, 01:32 AM   #13
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My reply is based on my beliefs, and you may or may not like what you read. But it is what it is.

A relationship between two people is based on numerous aspects. These include respect, attractions, a desire to love and to be loved in return, honesty, integrity, selflessness, mutual interests, disimilar interests, and a willingness to put the needs of your partner before your own needs. And both persons in the relationshipa must exhibit all of these.

In the real world, we are taught from a young age that we are important, and to watch out for number one. This might not be the mantra spoken in your home, but it is in our society. This molds us into strong, independant individuals who are capable of acting and reacting according to our perceived needs. Unfortunately, it also makes us somewhat egocentric.

For a relationship to work, we must put away the ego and relplace it with love, and I'm not talking about a physical relationship here. Love is exhibeted by the man who agrees to alllign the toilet paper roll according to his partners preference, realizing that which way it rolls doesn't really mean a hill of beans. It also means that if his partner is behaving badly, he let her know his true feelings, with love, patience, and tenderness.

True love is never violent, nor does it manifest itself in anger. The couples who last a lifetime and beyond, are aware of each other, and each other's requirements for praise, for respect, for tenderness, for playfullness, of each other's strengths & weaknesses. True love always tries to build, never tear down. Sincere and honest communication is practiced every minute of every day.

Fights are inevitable. The things learned from those battles, and the change in behavior that comes from self-evaluation makes the relationship stronger. True love scrapes and claws its way through the hurdles thrown by life, by the pressures that try to break it. It never gives up. It refuses anything less than success.

Ask yourself a couple of questions to find out if you are ready for a life-long relationship with your girlfreind.

1. Are you willing to put her needs before your own, at all times?
2. Is she willing to put your needs before her own, at all times?
3. Would you sacrifice your time, your resources, even your life for her?
4. Would she sacrifice her time, her resources, even her life for you?
5. Is her happiness and fulfillment more important to you than is your own?
6. Is your happingess and fullfilment more important to her that is her own?

It is hard to find a partner who meets all the qualifications to truly be your perfect partner. And a strong relationship is no trivial thing. And contrary to what our society seems to throw at us, the act of marriage is far more than a simple piece of paper, and a fee paid to the state. It is an agreement that states "I will give all of my energies and love to my partner, as she will do the same for me." It is supposed to be an unbreakable commitment between a man and a woman to love, support, and be there for each other, no matter what state the world is in, or what challenges rise up before you.

Simply stated, a wife should be her husband's best freind, and vice-versa. The strength of marital bonds must be stronger than the relationships with your Mother, or Father, or siblings, even stronger than is the bond between parent and child. And you could not possibly believe how much I love my children.

Sadly, many of today's marriages are based on finances, or physical lust, or the kids, or supposed security. These marriages are doomed to failure before they start, and usually end badly for everyone involved.

Don't be afraid to search for the right girlfreind. And when you find her, you must be the right boyfreind.

This advice comes from a man married to the same woman for thirty years now, and still going strong. The trials have been many, and there are many more awaiting us. But my wife truly loves me, and I truly love her. And I have two children who are married, both with exceptional relationships that have all the markings of lifetime comitments. I expect the other two children will have the same. I hope you will as well.

Seeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North
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Old 02-21-2007, 02:48 AM   #14
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The necklace is a small price to pay for learning such a valuable life lesson.

She's immature, which is really typical for a young girl. Get focused more on your schooling, your work and deepen relationships with your dear family members.
When the right woman comes along (and yes, she'll be a "woman", not a "girl") you will know. Just as Goodweed said, she'll put your needs first, just as you'd do for her.
Thank you for trusting us with your dilema, kid - hope we've been some help to you.
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Old 02-21-2007, 04:29 AM   #15
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I suppose I'm older than many here and have never heard of taking the day off from work for a gf, or even a wife's birthday. Unless one works 24 hours a day, there would be some time during that to celebrate. I think of her attitude to have you take off from your job would be quite immature and it also seems you may be trying to buy her love with the presents. The whole relationship needs an overhaul, in my opinion. I would think it would probably be better not to be involved with a person who was so demanding. No good will come from it.
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Old 02-21-2007, 05:45 AM   #16
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I could not dream of taking a day off, or now I don't work, expecting DH to take a day off for a day like a birthday. Last year my F-I-L remarried and we could not make the wedding because it was in US, we were in Europe and it would have meant effectively three days of work to go, be there for the wedding, and fly back. He celebrated with a group of friends on a Saturdya and DH flew over for the afternoon. He needs all his days off for interviews for getting his next job!

There are a thousand things you can do to acknowledge her actual birthday. A letter sent in advance and timed to reach her then, a delivered bouquet, something that lets her know you are thinking of her while you aren't there. If she is hoping to build a long term reationship with you she will realise that you going to work on her birthday proves what a responsible young man you are and how that will in the longterm make you a better partner than some one who used the excuse to loaf and spend an evening with her. Your work has allowed you to give her something she will be able to have forever and know you were thinking about her, where as an eveniong passes. There are somethings you absolutely should be there for, but they are usually unexpected and come up because you are there. anniversaies/birthdays etc are for remembering and celebrating what you have all the time, and are NOT the event in hemselves, just the celebration of it. I would ratehr never have a party to celebrate my wedding anniversary but have a marriage I am blessed to have everyday, just as my birthday is the day I thank goodness I am a live, not the day I live for!

You sound like you are a good boyfriend, not because of the trinkets you gave her, but because you are examining he relationship. I hope it all works out for you and I think you needd to ask yourself, and maybe her, some big questions about your life philosophies, because ultimately they matter. Hopefully she was speaking emotionally and thyat happens and should not be held against her if when she calms down she thinks of the bigger picture. :) Good luck.
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Old 02-21-2007, 07:50 AM   #17
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Having traveled from the West to the East (and back) again many, many times in this life...My wise counsel...

Find yourself another lady!!
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Old 02-21-2007, 08:08 AM   #18
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ask her This: Where does she think you got the money from to Buy the gift in the first place?

if that question ( with it`s built in Duuugh factor answer) doesn`t make her realise something, you should sell her Brain on eBay, you get a fortune for goods that are unused ;)
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Old 02-21-2007, 12:19 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy M.
You are not a bad boyfriend. Being a good boyfriend does not include risking your job to take her to dinner on her birthday.

The fact that she reacted as she did tells me more about her than it does about you. Get the necklace back and tell her to go fly a kite.
I am with Andy 100%. What a ... spoiled brat.
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Old 02-21-2007, 12:27 PM   #20
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imho, You're way too young to be buying presents like that. That money should have gone into a savings account for college or a car.

What did this little gal do for you on your birthday?
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