First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, orDAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.
Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buya new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules..."Hold on and pray."
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drivelike that.
All directions start with, "Get on Beltline". Which has no beginning andno end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)
The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussedout and possibly shot.
When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when thelight turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers
running the red light in cross-traffic.
Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent formof entertainment. We had so much fun with that, we have added George
Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.
All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in FortWorth!"
If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember,
it's legal to be armed in Texas.
All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. Period.
And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.
Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane,Josey Lane and Preston Road all mysteriously change
names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road. On the south end it
is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and
Highway 5. It ends in Sherman.
The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimumacceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is
considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman.
The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is notornamental!!
A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours,although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.
It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EASTNORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.
LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."
If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If
It has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classicis in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair ifit's Fall.
If you go to the Fair, pay the $8.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park. Parkingelsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parkingtickets, etc. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, runover him.
Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc. areconveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as toallow for ample parking on grassy areas.
Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal toBe armed in Texas.