Is it appropriate?

[CharlieD]

For the last 3 years my son has been in boarding school. Finally it’s coming to the end in another month, give or take couple of days. Thru these 3 years he had one person, he is not a teacher, he kind of take care of boys including things like behavior, he is the one to go to if you need help finding a tutor, kind of in charge of many things. Us being outsiders it was not so easy for my kid to fit in at first and this guy really took care of him. Helped in every way possible. As the matter of fact he gets the credit for improve, well even restoring my son and ours (parents) relationship. My son kind of resisted us for a while for sending him away. He really helped. Anyways, I really would like to thank him at the end of the school for what he has done. Nothing too extravagant but I would like to buy something personal and memorable. Now for me it would be an engraved watch. Doesn’t have to be super fancy or anything. Say couple hundred dollars. Being that it is after school is done that I want to give him that, I hope it will not be considered like a bribe or anything. What do you think?

 

[Zhizara]

It might not be allowed, you should ask first, either the man himself, or the head of the school. What does your son say about it?

 

[Addie]

If as PF says, it is allowed, I would suggest a really nice bottle of wine or something like Edible Arrangments. They are not too personal and he can share it with his family or friends.

I understand how you want to thank him. I would also. But you are walking on sticky ground. You don't want to make it too personal. Just a simple Thank You.

 

[kadesma]

Charlie, get some OK's then buy your son that watch. A card to go with it expressing how proud you are of his accomplishment. It will not seem like a bribe but will let him know just how much you love and care for him
kadesma

 

[buckytom]

i think a watch would be a very nice gift, especially engraved with a message of gratitude. not inappropriate at all.

 

[simonbaker]

i agree. A watch would be a nice gift.

 

[Dawgluver]

I think that's lovely, Charlie. However, some workplaces put a price limit on gifts they accept. For our agency, it's like $2.70. Might not hurt to look up the gift policy on the school's website, or PM a school admin and ask what the gift policy is. Good luck!

 

[CharlieD]

I don't think school policy really matter. As it would be done after school is over and I would be the one gifting.

 

[Dawgluver]

Then I think it's a nice idea.

 

[kadesma]

I don't think school policy really matter. As it would be done after school is over and I would be the one gifting.

Then by all means, gift your boy with a nice watch. He will be thrilled.You will be glad you did.
kadesma

 

[CWS4322]

I don't think school policy really matter. As it would be done after school is over and I would be the one gifting.

Charlie, I think it is a very, very nice gesture. Is there a way to find out more about what this person likes/dislikes? I'd hate to have s/thing engraved that I hated. Could you possibly give the person a small gift and take the person "shopping?" so that what the person ends up with is s/thing the person wants? Or, does the school have "recognition" days where students receive awards? Would it be possible to sponsor an award in this person's name? Maybe talk with the principal and find out, for example, the Joe Blow Mentor Award or Kindness Award or s/thing like that? Buy the trophy to which new names are added each year with a token gift for the recipient to keep?

 

[Barbara L]

I think the watch would be a great gift. Your son might be able to give you some tips on what the man would like, since he has spent some time getting to know him.

 

[GrillingFool]

I think a gift is a great idea, but maybe not a watch.
In today's world, more and more people are using their
phone as their timepiece.
A gift card to some store would be my choice. That
way, he can get whatever he wants.. or really needs!

 

[Andy M.]

Since the gift is being given after your son has finished school, it can't really be challenged by the school. I think a gift is an excellent idea.

Just a thought. So many people today don't wear watches anymore because they carry a cellphone or smartphone that displays the time.

 

[Gravy Queen]

Over here any such gifts would need to be declared - even though the child will have left the school, the teacher hasnt. But anyway thats here and not there.

It is a lovely gesture Charlie and we should definitely say thank you. I have similar thoughts when my youngest leaves. I'm thinking of a personal letter to the head teacher to make sure the teacher is thanked and acknowledged and a donation to the school.

Let us know how it turns out.

 

[Katie H]

Charlie, get some OK's then buy your son that watch. A card to go with it expressing how proud you are of his accomplishment. It will not seem like a bribe but will let him know just how much you love and care for him
kadesma

I definitely second kadesma's suggestion here, especially since you say the road your son has traveled has been a challenging and sometimes rocky one.

My thought for the gentleman you want to honor is perhaps you could purchase a beautiful leather-bound book for him. If there is any way you could find out the types of literature he enjoys, then I think I would go to a specialty or old book store and find a copy of something he might enjoy and have is name imprinted on the cover in gold or some such thing.

As for a watch, as several have already mentioned, today's lifestyle has changed to such a degree that a traditional watch is somewhat out of style.

 

[CharlieD]

I did think about a book. Unfortunatelly he has an enormous library, I doubt i would be able to find a book he doesn't have. Book was my first choice, really.
Also i hear what you say about people not wearing watches today. That is actually so true. I have not had watch for nearly 20 years, until recently my mother, may she live and be well, bought me a nice Omega for my 50-th birthday, now I am obligated to wear it. Ok, I like it too, but constantly afraid that I will take off and forget it somewhere, as I already did it once. Thank G-d for an honest man who grabbed and fallowed me to give it back.
So what else can I give him? If it is not a book or not a watch? If it was woman I would give her a gift card without hesitation, but man? He will give it to his wife, I just know it.

 

[Andy M.]

Talk to your son and ask him what interests this man.

 

[Skittle68]

I did think about a book. Unfortunatelly he has an enormous library, I doubt i would be able to find a book he doesn't have. Book was my first choice, really.
Also i hear what you say about people not wearing watches today. That is actually so true. I have not had watch for nearly 20 years, until recently my mother, may she live and be well, bought me a nice Omega for my 50-th birthday, now I am obligated to wear it. Ok, I like it too, but constantly afraid that I will take off and forget it somewhere, as I already did it once. Thank G-d for an honest man who grabbed and fallowed me to give it back.
So what else can I give him? If it is not a book or not a watch? If it was woman I would give her a gift card without hesitation, but man? He will give it to his wife, I just know it.

Very true about watches. I am one of the few people (my age, at least) who wears a watch, and I have two of them. One I've had for 12 years, and I wear it to work, and the other is solar powered with a lifetime warranty. I for one probably would not appreciate a watch, even though I pretty much wear one 24/7. Someone who saw me wearing my old watch might think otherwise, but I am particular about the style, and it has a bit of sentimental value, only because I've had it for so long.

I love the idea of giving him a gift, because I went through some troubled times as a teenager, and I wish someone had thanked a person in my life who made such a huge difference. I suppose I could probably track him down and send him a thank you letter or something, even though chances are a child psychiatrist probably wouldn't even remember a teenager he saw a few times 10-12 years ago.

Anyway, since he obviously has such a great interest in books, how about a very high end book light of some kind (I love my book light), or a nice book stand (I've always wanted one so I could have the book up at eye level without having to hold it up)? Or since you were looking to spend a couple hundred anyway, maybe a kindle? What are his other hobbies? Find out what he likes to do, and get him something related to those hobbies. I play disc golf for example, and I would always appreciate some new discs, because they get worn out or lost, or a nice new bag, since they get frayed and beat up, or a nice insulated water bottle. If he plays ball golf it would probably be even easier to find him a nice set of accessories that he would love.

Hope that puts the wheels turning

 

[CharlieD]

Talk to your son and ask him what interests this man.

Yeah, I was just thinking about that too. Gosh, who would have thought that giving a present could be such a hard thing to do. Just give me a new pot and I am happy.