J,
You already know how I feel for you and can only give you more hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{J}}}}}}}}}}}}}.
I can only relate on a much smaller level. My Mom was my major influence in the kitchen. She taught me everything I knew (until culinary school wrecked it all ) and after she passed from cancer almost 20 years ago, a part of my desire to cook went with her. Even though we lived separately, we still shared recipes, ideas, and would get together for Christmas baking...specially in the end years when she was too tired and would sit and watch and taste.
In the months leading to the first Christmas without her I wasn't going to do any baking for Christmas because it hurt too much. Then one day my Dad called me and said he was thinking about Mom and her amazing shortbread. It took everything I had to get the ingredients together but once I did, and found it turned out as good as hers, I continued on and made enough baking for the family, friends and then some. I went back to cakes around then too.
Losing a spouse is far greater and I have seen how close you were. All I can say is give it time, and one day hopefully you will crave a favourite food you two shared and will be able to make it and enjoy it in his memory. But don't force it. It will come on it's own in time.
You already know how I feel for you and can only give you more hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{J}}}}}}}}}}}}}.
I can only relate on a much smaller level. My Mom was my major influence in the kitchen. She taught me everything I knew (until culinary school wrecked it all ) and after she passed from cancer almost 20 years ago, a part of my desire to cook went with her. Even though we lived separately, we still shared recipes, ideas, and would get together for Christmas baking...specially in the end years when she was too tired and would sit and watch and taste.
In the months leading to the first Christmas without her I wasn't going to do any baking for Christmas because it hurt too much. Then one day my Dad called me and said he was thinking about Mom and her amazing shortbread. It took everything I had to get the ingredients together but once I did, and found it turned out as good as hers, I continued on and made enough baking for the family, friends and then some. I went back to cakes around then too.
Losing a spouse is far greater and I have seen how close you were. All I can say is give it time, and one day hopefully you will crave a favourite food you two shared and will be able to make it and enjoy it in his memory. But don't force it. It will come on it's own in time.