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Old 02-05-2014, 01:58 AM   #21
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You already know how I feel for you and can only give you more hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{J}}}}}}}}}}}}}.

I can only relate on a much smaller level. My Mom was my major influence in the kitchen. She taught me everything I knew (until culinary school wrecked it all ) and after she passed from cancer almost 20 years ago, a part of my desire to cook went with her. Even though we lived separately, we still shared recipes, ideas, and would get together for Christmas baking...specially in the end years when she was too tired and would sit and watch and taste.

In the months leading to the first Christmas without her I wasn't going to do any baking for Christmas because it hurt too much. Then one day my Dad called me and said he was thinking about Mom and her amazing shortbread. It took everything I had to get the ingredients together but once I did, and found it turned out as good as hers, I continued on and made enough baking for the family, friends and then some. I went back to cakes around then too.

Losing a spouse is far greater and I have seen how close you were. All I can say is give it time, and one day hopefully you will crave a favourite food you two shared and will be able to make it and enjoy it in his memory. But don't force it. It will come on it's own in time.


"Variety is not just the spice of life, it is the key to life" - Chef Michael Smith

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Old 02-05-2014, 02:27 AM   #22
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J, my heart aches over your loss of your dear Monte. My thoughts and prayers go out to you in hope that your sadness caused by this fresh pain is soon replaced with happiness in remembering how special your time together was.

Although I've not experienced the grief you're going through, my heart broke a little when Himself and I had to move from our children and our lifelong home of OH. Eventually I threw myself into learning new ways to cook and exploring foods I didn't prepare when we lived in OH. It helped. I hope you find something that helps you too. ((hugs))

... nothing is given. Everything is earned. You work for what you have... ~~~ LeBron James
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:22 AM   #23
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So sorry for your loss.

You aren't there yet, you are still grieving and that is completely understandable.

You will get to the point where being in the kitchen brings you comfort, it will make you feel closer to him, but right now the feelings are too raw, give it some time.
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:22 AM   #24
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Thank you all for your condolences, hugs, and sympathy. I so appreciate all of you!

Thank you for the wonderful suggestions. I like the idea of trying new foods as a way to spark a new interest and I'm sure my doctor won't mind if I gain back a few pounds. I also like the idea of reading cookbooks, especially the idea of having some sort of discussion about them (even if I'm just reading the discussion). I appreciate all your thoughts and ideas! I also really appreciate your thoughts to just give it time. This has been such an unreal experience. Time has lost a lot of meaning for me, it just seems to go past me. Giving it space and just letting it pass seems a good idea.

Thank you all again for your friendship and support!
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Old 02-05-2014, 01:29 PM   #25
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There are many people here who care for you, J. I couldn't get Mamma yesterday but I'll try again today, right now.

I send you very many hugs and prayers.

With love,
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:55 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by JMediger View Post
Hi All ... On December 7th, 2013 I lost my husband to an infection he contracted while in the hospital dealing with acute renal failure. It's been a horrible road and not one I would wish on anyone. Grief is not for the faint of heart I am discovering. Being only 41 makes it harder I think too.

Monte and I loved cooking, loved creating together, loved entertaining because of the food we would create, loved just being in the kitchen. Now, I find I can't even go in the kitchen without intense sadness. Thank God for the batches of soup people have brought me to fill my freeze and for Chef Boyardee. Otherwise, I might be surviving on Ritz crackers, yogurt, and grapefruit juice. I managed a batch of vegetable beef soup for my co-workers in hopes of resparking something but it didn't work (the soup was great, rave reviews, hasn't demotivated me)

I know I'm not alone in this grief and sadness and I know I'm not the only one who has faced losing their kitchen mojo. How have others gotten back into the kitchen and rediscovered their love for cooking again? I have been a member here for a long time and while I don't post a lot, I do lurk about reading threads and copying recipes and ideas almost daily. I know you all have some good ideas and hope you are willing to share with me to help me find my kitchen mojo again.

Thank you all!
You have my sympathy and thoughts. The only thing I can say is give it time but don't let your failure of kitchen mojo affect your appetite so much that your health suffers. I know it seems as though it doesn't matter but do, please, look after yourself..
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Old 02-05-2014, 11:16 PM   #27
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I am truly sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine. Though I have not suffered the same type of loss, I have felt the pain of losing a loved one. We are all so different that it is hard to say what might spark that fire for you. I can tell you that for me personally I am... Well I'm not sure I know exactly how to put it into words, but I like a challenge and I love when I can dance around and say "I did it I did it!!!" I know that my second mom, my grandmother, is looking down laughing at my happiness and my silly dancing in the kitchen... Or the garden! Maybe picking a particularly hard recipe or one with a very strange ingredient and conquering it will help! Or volunteer at your local shelter kitchen :) again these are things I would do, but I hope it helps. Good luck to you fellow kitchen goddess! You are strong and you will find your fire

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Old 02-05-2014, 11:30 PM   #28
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Mamma was having troubles of the Internet and she said for you to give yourself much time. She said our friends here have good ideas for you.

She said everyone grieves differently, and wanted to know if you have someone, anyone, to cook for. This may help you to return to the kitchen.

With love,

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