Joke of the Day

[Alix]

Feel free to add your own. Remember our PG rating please.

Make the Beds
When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning.
I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers.
I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was perfectly made each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret.
He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag.

Josh Who?
My daughter called me at work to say I had received a call from "Josh" at the bank regarding my account.
Returning the call to my bank, the operator asked what Josh's last name was.
I explained that he hadn't left his last name.
Then she asked for his department, and I said that I didn't know that either.
"There are 1500 employees in this building, ma'am," she told me rather sharply.
So I asked her for her name.
"Danielle," she said.
"And your last name?" I asked.
"Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names."

For The Kids...
What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A chicken sandwitch!

When a witch falls into a pond what is the first thing that she does?
Get wet!
What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
"I'd put a curse on you but it looks like someone already beat me to it"!

What kinds of wizards can jump higher than a bus?
All of them, busses don't jump!

[TATTRAT]

thanks,Alix! I needed a chuckle!

What kinda fish has 2 knees?

...a two-knee fish.


sorry, the kids one up there brought it out.

[Michelemarie]

Very cute! This is one we say to my 2-year old son all the time - he is a bit slow in the talking department - he calls Santa "ho ho hooooo" and he calls snow "no". After the rain last week and the snow disappearing, he keeps saying, "ma, no no" for "no snow". Anyways, here is our joke:

What does Santa say when he falls down the stairs?

Ho No!


I think it is cuter coming from a two-year old, but oh well.

[boufa06]

While visiting the U.S. after attending a Jaycee world congress, I was invited to a party given by some fellow Jaycee members. During the party and while holding a handful of cocktail nuts, the door bell rang. Since I was next to the door, someone called out to me to open it. Unable to do so, with the nuts in my hand, I exclaimed, "I can't open the door while holding my nuts!" The ruckus laughter that followed left me a bit befuddled. When realizing what I had just said, I joined in too!!

[QSis]

What goes "Ho Ho Ho THUD?"

Santa Claus laughing his head off.


(love that joke)

Lee

[Michelemarie]

Very cute!

[Alix]

Oh man, I am LMAO here. Keep 'em coming folks. Boufa, I loved the nuts thing. That is something I would do.

[angelbear9114]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

-A sitck

[shpj4]

Alix your Joke Of The Day was great and I really enjoyed reading it. I love to laugh and Jolie my Toy Poodle gets all excited when I do.

Happy Holidays.

[TexasTamale]

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets _very_ quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.....
Then the parrot says, "By the way, just what did the chicken do?"