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Old 07-07-2008, 03:55 PM   #21
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Now it sounds like you set yourself up for this, and you need to stop straddling the fence.
Now it's "push come to shove" and you have to make some decisions, grow a backbone, so to speak.
Do you want to make/keep yourself a "victim" or do you want to grow up; take responsibility for making and keeping decisions and live with them.
You can't be all things to all people, and always play the good guy at your own expense. I can tell you, you'll grow into a very bitter old person, and your life will SUCK!
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Old 07-07-2008, 04:01 PM   #22
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Do you know, I don't think he's ever suggested that, but it would work! DH and F-i-L both love jazz and step M-i-l doesn't, so that would be a good way.
Just make sure you aren't stuck with MIL when they go out :P LOL
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Old 07-07-2008, 04:02 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by quicksilver View Post
Now it sounds like you set yourself up for this, and you need to stop straddling the fence.
Now it's "push come to shove" and you have to make some decisions, grow a backbone, so to speak.
Do you want to make/keep yourself a "victim" or do you want to grow up; take responsibility for making and keeping decisions and live with them.
You can't be all things to all people, and always play the good guy at your own expense. I can tell you, you'll grow into a very bitter old person, and your life will SUCK!
ROFL, thanks for not mincing your words. Yep, maybe you ar right.

I do know that whatever I decide I'm not going to decide tonight though. I want to think about it and respond with my head and not my emotion.
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Old 07-07-2008, 04:17 PM   #24
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That's a first step,,,,,and a good one.
Congradulations.
Sorry to be so blunt.
I see so many people hurt themselves trying not to hurt someone else, who turn out not even caring about that person, anyway. So foolish.
My first marriage, I was referred to as Mike's wife for so long, and I stayed it the backround all the time shoulders hunched,, like I didn't have any identity - and we were at MIL/FIL's house all the time - the next town over. After 2+ yrs one sunday I had enough and said I'm not just Mike's wife, I have a name, I would appreciate you using it. They all looked at each other, but from then on, I was me, walked in shoulders back, and left with those same shoulders.
I did alot of growing up with that one sentence, and liked me a whole lot better.
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Old 07-08-2008, 01:07 AM   #25
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Your situation would drive me nuts and would be a complete deal breaker if my wife wasn't behind me. Thankfully, your husband is, and you guys should be able to work something out :)

I don't know about you, but anyone trying to dictate my life except for the 1 person I gave permission to do that will only drive me further away, not bring me closer.
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Old 07-08-2008, 07:56 AM   #26
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Ah, the evil Step mothers they are also evil M-I-L's too. No sugestion here. You'll have to play it by ear. I hated my ex mill, and she hated me. Whenever we visited them I'd luck my self in the bedroom and read, read, read. Od course in the end they used that aginst me, but what the heck, who cares now.

Be strong!
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