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Old 09-08-2008, 06:05 PM   #41
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I guess you just need to decide who you care about the most...your wife or your friend? When you decide...have a drink of Scotch and forgetaboutit!
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Old 09-08-2008, 07:10 PM   #42
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It could simply be displaced anger or resentment on an issue I cannot solve.
You can solve it. You are just looking for excuses not to. It is much easier to tell your friend honestly then to do what you have been doing. If he is truly your friend and brother then you can speak to him with honesty. You are just looking for excuses left and right to not do that. You won't even address the honesty issue.

Like UB said, you need to decide who means more to you, your wife or your friend.
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Old 09-08-2008, 07:17 PM   #43
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i don't get your biker connotation. so you're a biker. love bikes, my Dad's getting his 2nd for himself & my Mum. i spent years growing into adulthood with bikers.

i've frequented many bike nites & those bikers didn't mind that some non-biker chick & her guy were theer, we drank with them. maybe that's bikers from where i'm from.

that aside, say you're calling it a nite! it's your call..... you assert yourself in a non-agressive manner & people respond.......
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Old 09-08-2008, 09:45 PM   #44
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I'm not sure why "biker" is always brought up. You can insert anything in there and it will apply. A friend will show their friends respect, help their friends when needed, and understand when their friends need some time alone to rest. I define who I am by my actions...not by my hobbies nor my interests. I treat my friends like human beings and in return they treat me the same...it makes no difference what they do for "fun". My code of ethics is a "life" code of ethics. And if the term "poser" sets off those kinds of actions then I fear the term falls too close to home. And if you have made a covenant to act a certain way among your friends...and that covenant includes putting your wife's health on the back burner...hey, they wouldn't be friends of mine for very long! Emergencies excluded...but that goes for EVERYONE...bikers don't have that cornered.

But anywho..............repeat after me..............."My wife has over-exerted herself today and I don't want her to have a bad day tomorrow...she needs to rest...hope you don't mind but I'm going to be cutting the evening short. At 8:00 we're calling it a night".
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Old 09-08-2008, 09:52 PM   #45
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I do not see how it is selfish to be honest with your guest and tell them you would love to have them over, but the night needs to end by a certain time.
Yes, your question is honest and true, and sometimes the needs of a person SHOULD be more important than those of the 'needy person' that is visiting. It doesn't 'feel' right to everyone though because that person needed some attention. Sometimes, there are those of us that give and give and give, and she was needing to spend time with his (the visitor's) mate, so it was questionable as to whether action needed to be taken or not. You aren't wrong, you are just not feeling your way through it, you are 'thinking' your way through it, and there is nothing wrong with that either. People are feeling and thinking beings, it's more complicated than black and white, right and wrong.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:01 PM   #46
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so it was questionable as to whether action needed to be taken or not.
Chico said it drive him nuts and he doesn't know how to solve it. That, to me, sounds like someone who is looking to take action. He also posted how he is miserable and how he is unhappy with the situation. That sounds like someone looking to take action.
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:12 PM   #47
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Chico said it drive him nuts and he doesn't know how to solve it. That, to me, sounds like someone who is looking to take action. He also posted how he is miserable and how he is unhappy with the situation. That sounds like someone looking to take action.
I understand. It's nice that you are trying to help.l
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Old 09-08-2008, 10:40 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by luvs View Post
i don't get your biker connotation. so you're a biker. love bikes, my Dad's getting his 2nd for himself & my Mum. i spent years growing into adulthood with bikers.

i've frequented many bike nites & those bikers didn't mind that some non-biker chick & her guy were theer, we drank with them. maybe that's bikers from where i'm from.

that aside, say you're calling it a nite! it's your call..... you assert yourself in a non-agressive manner & people respond.......
Ditto. None of my friends whom I consider "bikers" have to keep reminding everybody. And for all I know some of them could even be tinkers and say they know how to knife fight
Harleys and knives and the internet oh my!

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