Just making myself miserable.

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Chico Buller

Washing Up
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
244
Location
Madison, Wisconsin
I have an old friend who used to live in our area, and moved about 75 miles away.

In one breath I say "old friend," and in the next breath I regret he didn't move even farther away.

Now, you might find this odd coming from me who can actually quote the proper etiquette for knife fighting, but he has no social skills. He cannot read the moods of people in the room, he stays up very late, and once in your home he will not go away. When I hear he's coming, I resent it, and even make excuses if possible.

I haven't seen him in a while, he has knives here that need service, and I do owe him a visit. However, on any other Sunday I would have slept late, gone to the gym and then ridden my Harley. Now I'm sitting here watching the driveway. Even the mutts sense I'm not very happy.

My wife's health is on and off, and for the moment she feels fine. She's out running errands with my SIL. But like most folks, she over does it when on a high, and I know she'll play herself out later today. Then she'll try to be a good host when I know she feels ill and my friend won't go home.

He's bringing his POSILQ, and she doesn't have any more sense than he does. You could hit her with a 2x4 and I doubt you'd get her attention, although I feel like trying it at times.

Instead of happily being on the highway, I'm pacing in my house grumbling and googling "voodoo dolls." Now granted, I live a tad different that most folks here, but what do you do when you're roped into an impossible situation?
 
be honest .. talk for a bit .. then thank him for coming by ...
its time for your wife and yourself to retire for the evening ..
and tell him next time you will come see him ..
then goodbye .. close the door ..
 
Sometimes we have to do these things. It's one moment in time you have to give up. It's called selflessness.
 
Good thoughts, thank you.

But I was a good boy for most of my working life. This is my time, and I should be able to use it as I wish. Otherwise, what's the use of being a good boy and building a home.

It is going to be a very short night. In fact, before he get's here, I'm going to sharpen his knife to guarantee that.
 
Seems to me that you should have hopped in your Harley and gone his way. Then, you are in control. Besides, you would have had a good ride.

AC

BTW - What is a POSILQ?
 
He obviously doesn't take a hint, so don't rely on him to catch your signals that it is time for him to go. Let him know before he even comes that you only have a certain amount of time to take care of business (set an ending time). Serve one round of refreshments, make a little small-talk, but keep it mostly to business.

:)Barbara
 
Interesting. I had never seen that acronym before, so I just looked it up, and the I should just be another S, for POSSLQ. :cool:

:)Barbara
 
prop your eyelids open with toothpicks & put on your robe, yawn plenty, like carol brunette.
 
Chico, I have no advice to lend. But I have to tell you, reading your posts always puts a smile on my face. You should write a book.

You are truly the Garrison Keilor (or G. Gordon Liddy?) of DC.

Please, keep em' comin!!!:LOL:
 
I'm with love2q, sit a while, talk about your interest and then tell them, well, it was good to see, but, my wife is tired and she needs rest. I don't know what is wrong with her, maybe I missed it somewhere, but, by your posts, I don't think it's a cold. So, he either has morals and leaves when he knows it's time, or, you will know not to let him come over again, lol or, do as Adillo says, you go to his house and leave when you are ready, that way, you get your ride too:)
 
It might sound corny, but honesty is the best policy. It might not be the easiest policy, but it is the only way to get your needs addressed correctly. Tell your guest that you would love to have him over, but you need to call it a night by x o'clock. Direct honesty is the best way to go.
 
I've tried honesty, but some people just don't get it. Set limits. Tell your friend you have an appt or place to go at a certain time. Walk them to the door & to their car. I have a few friends that wont let me off the phone, talk for hours, & call every day. One 'got it' when I was honest. The other friend, well, had to give them a time limit & politely cut them off.
 
Why can't you be honest while giving a time limit??? Say you can't make this an all night affair so the night needs to end at x o'clock. There is no reason honesty can not be part of the equation.
 
i agree, in sincerity. you can gently say, 'goodnite. it's way past our bedtime & we've work tomorrow. 'nite, thanks fer joining us, we'll see you soon."

we've a buddy that talks incessantly, & he spends his night here when we visit with him, so you gotta kinda brush him off, i wait till jake says, "well, man, we're gonna try to get sleep fer tomorrow. i'm gonna work."
 
I'm with smoke king & Stacey.
Tell him he' s HIGH MAINTENENCE and that you love the guy, but just don't always have the energy, as things in your own life need that energy more.
And then get down to writing that book.
 
I'm with GB - I have no problem being honest with people and saying something like "I've really enjoyed our visit, but I/we really need to get some sleep." But having said that, I am remembering a friend up north who was the same way - he finally had to be asked very bluntly to go home. He came down here to visit us about a year ago...never again.
 
Someone I talked to once (or maybe it was something they read) had a guest who wouldn't take a hint (yawning, looking at the clock, saying things about work, etc.). They finally stood up, handed the guest the TV remote and said, "We have to be up early for work. Don't forget to lock up when you leave." :LOL:

:)Barbara
 
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