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Old 03-05-2011, 09:14 PM   #31
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I'm certainly not an old "fuddy duddie", and I am certain that my happiness is something I create myself, not dependent on someone else to give it to me... Love or not...
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Old 03-05-2011, 09:48 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by taxlady View Post
What a bunch of conservative old fuddy duddies. Didn't someone recently point out that lots of us are baby boomers, old hippies (I wasn't a hippy - I was a freak).

The jealousy would freak me out. My husband goes to parties without me every now and again. He has even stayed over at female friends' homes when the buses had stopped running. Big deal. I would rather that than have a drunken friend drive him home.

" 'Love' is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own... Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy."
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Amen, you either trust or you don't. If there is no trust...
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:11 PM   #33
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I don't think it even has anything to do with drinking. For me as soon as I started dating my wife, I refused to go out by my self. Still do not and would not. That is not why I got married. In my opinion if you feel a need to go out without your boy friend you do not need to be together. I am happy to simply go out on the deck of our house and talk to my wife, rather than going out by me self. When you find somebody you want to be so much together and he with you, then you have the right person. In this situation you are both wrong. He is wrong by not going out with you, you are wrong by not spending $20 bucks to get home. It is not that much money to risk the relationship. You must have known that he'd be mad if you stay with a guy, even though you did not stay with him, but he was there.
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:12 PM   #34
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Ask him if he's said everything he needs to say about that night. If he hasn't then give him one time to let it out of his system. Otherwise he needs to seriously "adult up" and let it go already. And if he isn't done or won't be done I guess he needs to ask himself if that's what is going to be the relationship breaker? Because that's what he is turning it into.

And really? He can't trust you to sleep on someone's couch? I mean, next thing you know you'll be attacking the produce man at the grocery store! I'd run far and I'd run fast.

Edit: Just have to add that I would go stark raving mad if I ONLY did things with my guy and he with me. Just because you enjoy time apart does not mean that you're not "right" for each other by any stretch of the imagination. So what works and is obvious for some people is completely wrong and unworkable for others. =) I guess that's why the original question is so hard to answer; we all put the "I" and "we" twist on it that probably doesn't apply to their relationship or situation.
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:27 PM   #35
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I did not read all of the posts in this thread but a couple of things come to mind. Didn't you guys recently move to a new town? I can't quite remember. Do you personally have a support system outside of your bf, like family and friends who are nearby? I think your bf has reason to be concerned but I am also concerned that perhaps he may be becoming a little too possessive if he can't let it go after he says that he forgave you. You might want to consider looking into couples counseling. I know you said you were concerned about spending money for a taxi but paying for counseling might save your relationship, or it might show you that perhaps you two are not suited for each other. Either way you might want to look into it before your relationship goes much farther. Hope all turns out well.
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:31 PM   #36
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I would have a problem with my wife going partying alone anywhere.
I don't dance but I let my wife go dancing with her girlfriends frequently. I've never had a problem with that over the 25 years we've been married.

Let your wife? Did you marry her or adopt her?
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Old 03-05-2011, 10:41 PM   #37
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Let your wife? Did you marry her or adopt her?
Good point. I should have worded that phrase a differently.
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Old 03-05-2011, 11:04 PM   #38
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Good point. I should have worded that phrase a differently.
I'm so glad to hear that roadfix. I bet you meant I don't mind if my wife goes dancing
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Old 03-05-2011, 11:05 PM   #39
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Good point. I should have worded that phrase a differently.

That is what I was hoping......
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Old 03-05-2011, 11:06 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pacanis
I was all ready to say good post Luva, when I read Kayelle's post.... actually, they are both pretty good, but maybe it is Kayelle highliting hers that something Skittles said caught my eye... "for the first time in a year"?... so once a year you wish you were single, Skittles? That is what sticks out to me in what you said. It sounds to me like either someone needs to commit more or that someone needs to be more honest with themselves. Trials and tribulations does not mean you should be wishing you were single. IMO that is half the reason you slept over at your friend's.
We've been together for a year- that's what I meant.


Quote:
Originally Posted by joesfolk
I did not read all of the posts in this thread but a couple of things come to mind. Didn't you guys recently move to a new town? I can't quite remember. Do you personally have a support system outside of your bf, like family and friends who are nearby? I think your bf has reason to be concerned but I am also concerned that perhaps he may be becoming a little too possessive if he can't let it go after he says that he forgave you. You might want to consider looking into couples counseling. I know you said you were concerned about spending money for a taxi but paying for counseling might save your relationship, or it might show you that perhaps you two are not suited for each other. Either way you might want to look into it before your relationship goes much farther. Hope all turns out well.
We were going to move to a new town, but the money from the job offer wasn't quite worth it to move. He would have had to hire a property manager for his rental properties here, and pay for private health insurance, which he has now through his current job.

Other than when I go out (which is rarely) pretty much the only person I hang out with is my sister. If I didn't go out at all I would go crazy. I start feeling cooped up. He is fine with that, otherwise I wouldn't do it. Although personally, I don't think it's too much to ask for him to come out once a month. But he won't, so that's that. Anyway, my issue is that he obviously has trust issues, and difficulty forgiving. To me, that is the only red flag. I tried talking to him but he pretty much just said "trust is easy to lose, but hard to get back." That's true, but not very helpful :/
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