Life begins at 40?

[Mel!]

My husband is a software programmer/systems analyst. He has been experiencing ageism since about the time he turned 40. Job turnover is high in the software world. It's been a pain in the patooty. So, he didn't even need to change career to experience it.

I think, the IT industry is particularly bad for not just ageism, but other types of negative office poltics too. I put it down mostly, to the high job turnover. As soon as you get to know who the nutcases are, and figure out how to protect yourself from them, they move to another department or company to torment more unaware people, and are replaced by new nutcases in your own department.
My qualification is in IT. I worked for a couple of differnet companies, as a trainer, technician and quality co-ordinator. It is almost best to not work at all, than to work in those crazy war zones, in my opinion. Well, better for the health anyway, if not for the bank account.

 

[Mel!]

I had more problems with ageism in college and nursing school than I have had in actual jobs. More was expected of me in regular college classes by some instructors and nurses eat their young...not fun. I was EXPECTED to fail in nursing school, made me so mad I came out at the top of my class.

Geez, those teachers should get on with their teaching, and not with their judging people about their ages or any other personal stuff. At least, you got past it, to get to your great vocation. That has to feel like such a great achievement for you!

 

[Addie]

Has anyone here experienced this, or know of somebody who has? If so, what did they do with your identity?

I know of one guy who found photos belonging to him, of his friends, on a strangers FaceBook page. The stranger was saying they are his own friends. A very weird and pathetic theft...

Yes. Son #2. Spent four months in jail because his "Best" friend used his name when he was arrested. When he didn't keep his court date, they came looking for my son. Friend got a lot of recent info from the Internet. Such as his address. He already knew my name, siblings' names, and other pertinent info. Grew up with Son #2. This is why I NEVER put any one's name out on the 'net without permission. When the police couldn't produce photos of tattoos to match the ones my son had, the judge read them the riot act.

Someone also tried to use my dead daughter's name. But the cop that she was talking to, knew my daughter and that she was dead. He came to her funeral. He arrested the girl for giving false information, impeding an investigation, etc. She had no idea what was going on until she got to the station and the officer introduce her to me. "Is this your mother?"
"Heck no. I never saw this woman before." The officer had called me on his cell phone. I was only two minutes from the station walking. I brought my granddaughter with me. Her mother had only been dead about six months. You can imagine how upsetting it was for both of us. And just how shocked she was when she found out who we were.

So yes, I am familiar with identity theft. First hand. I never, ever give out any info about myself or my kids over the phone or the Internet. And on the rare occasion I might get a telemarketer, I hang up immediately. I never open emails that I don't know who sent them. I not only protect myself and my family, also my friends with a vengeance.

I have belong to a group of seven of us for the past ten years or more. I have all their personal information. Including birthdays, aniversaries, etc. Even unlisted phone numbers. We have a code name if you need to have any of the info. If you can't give me the code name, I can't help you. I gave them my word that they could trust me and I have never violated that trust. And I never will. Identity theft is no fun for the victim.

 

[Claire]

Hmmm, start for a new line, I think.

I was a gal who matured late in some respects. I was still a teenager when I enlisted in the USAF. In some ways naive, but in others very, very experienced. At 40? My life changed in, to me, strange ways, that I had a hard time coping with. From there I went to the whole menopause thing.

If you'd asked me at 40? I would NOT have said life begins at 40. I'd have said life ends there. My 30s were my favorite decade. And, of course, life didn't end at 40, I put a hitch in my giddy-up and in my late fifties am doing quite well. I won't go so far as to say this is the best decade of my life, but my late 30s/early 40s were definitely in competition for my worst.
Way too individual.

 

[Mel!]

Yes. Son #2. Spent four months in jail because his "Best" friend used his name when he was arrested. When he didn't keep his court date, they came looking for my son. Friend got a lot of recent info from the Internet. Such as his address. He already knew my name, siblings' names, and other pertinent info. Grew up with Son #2. This is why I NEVER put any one's name out on the 'net without permission. When the police couldn't produce photos of tattoos to match the ones my son had, the judge read them the riot act.

Someone also tried to use my dead daughter's name. But the cop that she was talking to, knew my daughter and that she was dead. He came to her funeral. He arrested the girl for giving false information, impeding an investigation, etc. She had no idea what was going on until she got to the station and the officer introduce her to me. "Is this your mother?"
"Heck no. I never saw this woman before." The officer had called me on his cell phone. I was only two minutes from the station walking. I brought my granddaughter with me. Her mother had only been dead about six months. You can imagine how upsetting it was for both of us. And just how shocked she was when she found out who we were.

So yes, I am familiar with identity theft. First hand. I never, ever give out any info about myself or my kids over the phone or the Internet. And on the rare occasion I might get a telemarketer, I hang up immediately. I never open emails that I don't know who sent them. I not only protect myself and my family, also my friends with a vengeance.

I have belong to a group of seven of us for the past ten years or more. I have all their personal information. Including birthdays, aniversaries, etc. Even unlisted phone numbers. We have a code name if you need to have any of the info. If you can't give me the code name, I can't help you. I gave them my word that they could trust me and I have never violated that trust. And I never will. Identity theft is no fun for the victim.

omg! Those are horrible examples! I am not sure identity theft has ever happened to me. If so, I never found out about it.

I was reading a biography of an Australian drug smuggler a few years ago. He had stolen the identity of a dead baby from a tomb stone in a graveyard, to get a fake passport. I didn't know identity theft is that easy. I suppose, the police dont see any reason to watch people who have not yet done crimes, so that is how they can get away with so much.

 

[Mel!]

Way too individual.

I think, I have that problem too. People are advised to think out of the box, but those who advise this, dont advise about how to cope with not fitting in with what most people see as how you should be.

 

[Addie]

omg! Those are horrible examples! I am not sure identity theft has ever happened to me. If so, I never found out about it.

I was reading a biography of an Australian drug smuggler a few years ago. He had stolen the identity of a dead baby from a tomb stone in a graveyard, to get a fake passport. I didn't know identity theft is that easy. I suppose, the police don't see any reason to watch people who have not yet done crimes, so that is how they can get away with so much.

At one time anyone could go to the Records Department and get a birth certificate for any person. After all, they are public records. Now to get a birth, death or marriage certificate, you have to show a picture identity and two pieces of mail with your name on it. Preferably utility bills with your name on it. And you also have to show a reason for the request. Also, at one time if you knew someone at the RMV, you could get preferential treatment and go to the head of the loooong line. It is harder to do that these days. My daughter is an Executive Secretary for management. I am due to go in and have a new picture taken for my ID card and my handicap placard. She no longer can help me get through the red tape. I have to follow protocol like everyone else. With the experience my family has had with idenity theft, I am glad that they have tighten the rules. But at the same time I am ticked off. Don't those folks at RMV know how inportant I am?

 

[Uncle Bob]

Do you agree that life begins at 4o? Give reasons for you opinion.

Not sure I totally agree, but then It was along about that time that I designed, had made, and bought my K.O.B.A. belt buckle...So in some respects...Yes!

 

[vitauta]

for me, i didn't even begin to hit my stride until i was well into my thirties, and the forties were just a continuation--even the fifties. my twenties were spent in the 70's when love was in the air, no hiv yet, lots of partying, drinking and drugs. fun, but pretty much a squandering of time, talents and youth....but hey, the other day, i heard that betty white declared 90 to be the new 50--there's so much more time to find yourself these days, to grow and mature....