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Old 09-08-2008, 01:54 PM   #41
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Instead of regreting things I wish my kids would not do the same mistakes I did, and have even better life than mine.

You are what you eat.
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Old 09-08-2008, 02:02 PM   #42
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I have told everyone my regrets already. Everyone tired of hearing them. If I think about them only makes them seem like happened yesterday. Watched 60 minutes last night with Alec Baldwin. Can't believe how I could relate to his rage about indifference. Don't know if he was at fault but the feeling is the same. Always seems the kids are the ones who get the brunt of everything. You want to nail someone to the cross for the treatment they give you but seems when they cause it only makes you want to tear your hair out.

I apologize for all the times I made all of you live my marriage over and over and over and over again. I am sure most of you just bypass my messages by now. But thanks for all the understanding you give.

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Old 09-08-2008, 02:09 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by CharlieD View Post
even better life than mine.
This is where I question that part of the debate.

My Father was quite wealthy. He shook my hand when I left. He financed my brother's education at Notre Dame, where he graduated Salutatorian. I put myself through college working on a loading dock.

Now, that might sound bitter, but it's not. It was the perfect thing.

If you've seen a biker flying colors, you know me. If you've watched the TV show "Frasier" and know Niles Crane, you know my brother.

I told my Dad the best thing he ever did for me was "nothing."

I have lived free my whole life. The things I own (save the inheritance money which after tithe was mostly given away) are mine free and clear.

Because of my lifestyle and weight lifting, I survived a car wreck which broke my neck in five places--breaking C-2 in half. Structurally, I broke more pieces than Christopher Reeve.

My Mother was instrumental in breaking up my brother's first mariage. She took her shoes off before entering my home.

Don't give your children too much. In fact, if you have a kid with a "free spirit" and tough demeanor, give them nothing.
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Old 09-08-2008, 02:28 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by Chico Buller View Post
After reading all of the comments here, I'm faced with one question. If we could turn back time, would we change our behavior? For example, a soldier might regret his actions, but those actions secured the survival for himself and buddies.

Yes, there are some things I would change if I could turn back time, knowing what I now know. As I mentioned in my post, I jeopardized my health and the health of my children and I am now wondering if what I did harmed them. I will never know for sure. I don't live my life in regret, nor do I dwell on something I can't change. I wish others would learn from those mistakes and change THEIR future. The mistake I made in smokiing for so many years didn't make me stronger, it made me regretful.
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Old 11-03-2008, 11:36 PM   #45
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I do understand the reason for you posting this inquiry into other peoples' lives. I could see myself asking or inquiring about the same thing. But for me, it's counterproductive.

it's better for me in all aspects of my life to dwell on the positives other than the negatives because they inevitably pop up whether you want them to or not.

it's sort of a shoulda/woulda/coulda/but didn't dissertation in life.
...Trials travel best when you're taking the transportation known as prayer...SLRC
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:09 AM   #46
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I'm with you Lefse, look forward not back..Have joy in today and treasure tomorrow.
HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:32 AM   #47
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I regret that my Dad didn't live long enough to eat my cooking when it really got good. What a wonderful man!! He ate all my failures when I was living at home. He never complained, and he always encouraged me.

I'd love to make him a pound cake. He loved pound cake.

I heard a man say some years ago that the the most valuable real estate on the planet are cemetaries. Cemetaries full of people who died with their dreams inside of them. I can never get that out of my head, and I make it a point to share that thought with young people when I have an opportunity.
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:48 AM   #48
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There is little in my life that I regret. I survived a miserable marriage with a wonderful son - how could I regret that marriage?

The woman who raised me was horribly insecure, spiteful, nasty, cruel, brilliant and devisive but the good news is that I am NOT her daughter. I found out after she and my father were dead that I was adopted....good news - devistating - but still good news.

I do not regret one moment of my interaction with her - I did my best.

One thing I do regret. Last year I had a falling out with my mother in law whom I love dearly and I don't know how to fix it. Surely much of my problem with this is the lesson I was taught from the cradle about not trusting others - men were certainly not trustworthy but women were worse!

I need to learn about boundaries....any help appreciated!

I love her dearly and I wish I could rebuild at least part of our relationship - now I feel like I've truely lost a mother..

57 years old
Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all. Oregon native transplanted to Chicago....
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Old 11-04-2008, 09:49 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by Chico Buller View Post

Don't give your children too much. In fact, if you have a kid with a "free spirit" and tough demeanor, give them nothing.

chico, there's a lot that a dad can give his son besides money and his genes. (besides, my dad is short; i'd never fit into his jeans. nor ever fill his shoes.)

i was the last of six kids, and by the time i was two, at least one of my siblings was in college thorughout most of my childhood. that meant there was just enough money to get by, and my dad had to work all the time.
but, he made sure to try to make it to my ballgames and concerts and such, and spend time as many nights as possible just talking with me. about religion, and philosophy, and life experiences in general.

even though my friends (all of whom came from much more wealthy families) had more stuff and went on really nice vacations, my dad gave me more.
he took me fishing a few times, and we talked about his boyhood in ireland, fishing for trout on the foothills of croagh patrick. he gave me a love for fishing.
he also talked about his parents' farm in ireland, and planted a few veggie gardens in our backyard. he gave me a love for gardening.
he played a lot of music, from classical to pop, and everything in between; he gave me a love for music.
he read and we discussed books about early settlers, mountain men, and surviving in the wilderness. he gave me a love for camping and the outdoors.
he joked around and teased a lot, often in wry and backhanded ways. he gave me my sense of humour.
in my younger years, if i cried he hugged me; when i got older, he scolded me for being a baby.
when i got older, failing out of college and into drugs, he picked me up by my throat, pinning me to the wall. he gave me a choice of the military, or getting a job and paying rent while living under his roof and rules. he made me a man.

so there's a lot that a dad can give his son that doesn't have a monetary value, but is so much more important.
A true lover of nature does not despair now that his mistress has turned a colder cheek.
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Old 11-04-2008, 10:41 AM   #50
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he made you a rich man..He gave you all that is important in life and now, you must give it on to your son..May he grow to be as wonderful a person as you. How lucky you both are.

HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
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