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Old 01-29-2014, 06:10 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Dawgluver View Post
My mom made me stay with my grandma if my parents went away when I was in high school! Highly insulting to me at the time (but very wise now that I think about it).

We did that with our kids, too. They didn't like it, but they got over it. I was never left alone in the house, except if my mother went shopping and I watched my younger brother. It was rare. Usually, she gave me a list and I went shopping.
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Old 01-29-2014, 06:17 PM   #22
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But sometimes they aren't trusting their child to be responsible. They assume that the child won't be responsible.

My mother was the kind of person who felt that she knew what was best for everyone. She tried to control people "for their own good". It drove me crazy. I moved from Copenhagen to Montreal. My relationship with my mother improved with that much distance between us. Short visits were improved.

Many years later, while talking to her on the phone, I said, "I love you Mommy. I realize that you have always been the best parent you knew how to be." She misunderstood and replied, "I'm glad you finally understand that I was right."
You didn't say she was right, though. That's interesting of how she interpreted your statement to her. !!

I do understand your point. I think Mamma and Papa knew I'd try to be responsible, so it's why I was sent here for DA. But I do know of college friends who aren't, and sometimes they get into troubles, even of the DWIs and drugs. Uck!

With love,
~Cat
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Old 01-29-2014, 06:20 PM   #23
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We did that with our kids, too. They didn't like it, but they got over it. I was never left alone in the house, except if my mother went shopping and I watched my younger brother. It was rare. Usually, she gave me a list and I went shopping.
We always get over it! I know I'm learning lessons and I have a long way to go, but I'll get there.

I like the shopping for food!

With love,
~Cat
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Old 01-29-2014, 09:38 PM   #24
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I needed a vacation badly. The opportunity came up that I could go away for 10 days. But I still have 13 y.o. Poo at home. Too big for a babysitter and too young to be left alone. But I had always had trusted him and he had never let me down. Like you Cat and your parents, we had a special bond between us that was lacking with my first four kids. I couldn't trust them to cross the street alone. So I decided to take my chances. I let the woman upstairs know about my plans. And without letting Poo know she was going to keep an eye on him. Every night she would invite him up for supper. After he would watch TV with them and then fall asleep on their couch. He never let any kids in the house. Kept the door locked so they couldn't walk in.

According to my neighbor, I had nothing to worry about. When I returned, he started to cry. I didn't ask him why, I knew. Those were the longest 10 days of his life. I trusted him and he never let me down.

I never tried to control Poo. I just trusted him and let him know it.
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Old 01-29-2014, 10:06 PM   #25
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Sometimes when I look at Cat's posts, it's like reading her journals.

While I agree with the others here, I do think it's mainly a cultural difference. You've had rare experiences and you never did get along well with most of your peers. Our family is very close, both in heart and proximity, and that makes a difference. You also have the fishing fleet family, and I know that is something you miss terribly.

Mothers cry too, Cat. I would say that if you took a poll of all the mothers in this forum, they would tell you they cry more than their children ever know. We're not magically strong creatures, and you'll find this out when you have your own children someday. Fathers cry, too. You saw your Papa in tears when we were there.

Missing the people you love is all part of this wonderful experience called life. Someone, and I forget who, has on their signature, "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." I think that's right. Wise words, Cat, remember this.

Feeling lost and confused is absolutely normal for a young lady your age. You're teetering on that threshold of adulthood, and that isn't easy. You're also laden with a great responsibility. Caring for the elderly is no easy feat; talk to our Ogress about that. She has a lot of experience in caring for the elderly and she will be happy to help you, I think. These people here are your support, along with Gwen, Carl, and Laki. Of course, we're just a call away, but if Papa and I are out working, these people right here are at your fingertips. You're very lucky to have found these people. Gwen, Carl, and Laki are even closer, so remember that.

When you're sad, think of good things. Think of our new Catina II, slowly making her way home. Papa loves everything you have accomplished and we're very proud. Think of how happy Aunty Stela is with you and how much she adores you. Think back upon the day you became an American. Look at what I wrote in your journal. Look at Carl's ring. I know you two had made a painful decision, but you two still love each other and he's always ready to help you. Look at Laki; she's the sister you never had. Look at your terrific grades. I may be a teacher, but I never carried the average you have. Look at your pets and Joy. Everything around you is very positive.

I miss you terribly, Cat. But having been there, I do feel better about you and your circumstances. I thought it interesting that you said something about order and discipline in an earlier post. Do you know where you learned that? You learned that through every fishing season on Catina. You also learned that when both of your cousins got into trouble and Aunty Stela sent them back here. They haven't improved, unfortunately. Your aunt and uncle are having a rough time with them.

Enough of the lecture! I'm still on American time and I can't sleep. I go back to work on Monday, and hopefully I'll get my sleep schedule back on track by then. If not, my poor students will have to put up with a grumpy, sleepy teacher!

I want to thank you all for being so gracious to me. I do enjoy this forum, and I'll be visiting often. Keep an eye on Cat. If she goes out to drinking parties and starts dealing drugs, I need to know.

MammaCat
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Old 01-29-2014, 10:09 PM   #26
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I needed a vacation badly. The opportunity came up that I could go away for 10 days. But I still have 13 y.o. Poo at home. Too big for a babysitter and too young to be left alone. But I had always had trusted him and he had never let me down. Like you Cat and your parents, we had a special bond between us that was lacking with my first four kids. I couldn't trust them to cross the street alone. So I decided to take my chances. I let the woman upstairs know about my plans. And without letting Poo know she was going to keep an eye on him. Every night she would invite him up for supper. After he would watch TV with them and then fall asleep on their couch. He never let any kids in the house. Kept the door locked so they couldn't walk in.

According to my neighbor, I had nothing to worry about. When I returned, he started to cry. I didn't ask him why, I knew. Those were the longest 10 days of his life. I trusted him and he never let me down.

I never tried to control Poo. I just trusted him and let him know it.
I just saw this, Addie. Sometimes we just know when we can trust our children. That poor boy missed you. If I had a son, I would like for him to be like your Poo.

You did well, Addie.

MammaCat
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Old 01-29-2014, 10:37 PM   #27
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Hi Mamma! I didn't know you were here! I was out with Azia.

I read your post, and thank you, Mamma. You're right, I need to be better and look at everything around of me. I will ask Ogress if I have questions.

I do think of Catina II coming home slowly. She is something I'm very, very terribly proud of! My heart thumps oddly when I think of her. But I can't come in July until after the 4th, Mamma. I want to celebrate Independence Day here. You said to remember when I became an American, yes? I can come on the 5th.

I'm glad to know what I feel is normal. Didn't you put in my journal these "growing pains?" I think you're right. Oh, just seeing you here makes me so happy!

I feel better after now. I think I become unhappy because we all can't be together all the time. But I think this is good, for it means I don't have a horrible family, yes?

I do miss the fleet. I've tried to explain this to my friends here, how we are a family of the sea. I miss the Gizzi's hugs, and all the crew's and others' kisses on the top of my head. It is a very different environment. I do miss the sea and the fleet. I don't even have a rowboat here. Uck!

Oh and I am not "laden" with responsibilities. DA is no burden to me. I hope you don't think she is a burden.

Since you are awake, please call me.

With love,
~Cat
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Old 01-29-2014, 10:40 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Addie View Post
I needed a vacation badly. The opportunity came up that I could go away for 10 days. But I still have 13 y.o. Poo at home. Too big for a babysitter and too young to be left alone. But I had always had trusted him and he had never let me down. Like you Cat and your parents, we had a special bond between us that was lacking with my first four kids. I couldn't trust them to cross the street alone. So I decided to take my chances. I let the woman upstairs know about my plans. And without letting Poo know she was going to keep an eye on him. Every night she would invite him up for supper. After he would watch TV with them and then fall asleep on their couch. He never let any kids in the house. Kept the door locked so they couldn't walk in.

According to my neighbor, I had nothing to worry about. When I returned, he started to cry. I didn't ask him why, I knew. Those were the longest 10 days of his life. I trusted him and he never let me down.

I never tried to control Poo. I just trusted him and let him know it.
I understand how he felt. I'm very lucky my parents didn't leave me when I was 13. I don't think I could have been brave like he was.

With love,
~Cat
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Old 01-29-2014, 11:12 PM   #29
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I just saw this, Addie. Sometimes we just know when we can trust our children. That poor boy missed you. If I had a son, I would like for him to be like your Poo.

You did well, Addie.

MammaCat
Thank you MammaCat. All my children have done well. But Poo is the one who has made me the proudest. I had my first four kids close together. I was so busy taking care of them, that I wasn't always able to find time to 'raise' them and give them the attention they each deserved.
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Old 01-29-2014, 11:33 PM   #30
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Your Ogress is always at your service if you need help and/or questions answered. The care of the elderly is my life's blood and the thing nearest my heart, aside from Shrek. Any help I can provide, I will do gladly.
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