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Old 03-18-2007, 08:05 PM   #1
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Marriage One Liners

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates



Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas



The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous


"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison


"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous


You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman


My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield


A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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Old 03-19-2007, 12:52 AM   #2
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Take my wife...........

Please!

If anyone tells Katie E about this I'll kill you!

Buck
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If we weren't meant to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?
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Old 03-19-2007, 12:55 AM   #3
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Buck..........be careful, there are rumors of a mobile woodshed now.
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Old 03-19-2007, 12:59 AM   #4
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Tatt, We don't need no stinkin' woodsheds!
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If we weren't meant to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?
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Old 03-19-2007, 12:59 AM   #5
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You know, there once was a lady around here that carried with her a rolling pin as well....wonder where she went????

I'm so glad Ill never have a wife......
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Old 03-19-2007, 01:07 AM   #6
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I just wanna know how many of these are wisdom, or bullocks.
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Old 03-19-2007, 09:37 AM   #7
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Peace, Love, and Vegetable Rights!
Eat Meat and Save the Plants!
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Old 03-19-2007, 11:22 AM   #8
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Good ones

What's that other one.... If a tree falls in the forest and your wife isn't there to hear it, are you still wrong?
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