In case any of you are as warped as I am, I thought I'd post one of my favorite websites here for you to enjoy. MLIA
Today, in English class a kid fell asleep. Within the next 2 minutes my entire class was standing outside in the hall, the lights in the class were turned out and the clock in the room was changed to 7:00 o'clock. The kid woke up and freaked out. This was my most productive English class ever. MLIA
Today, I was talking with a friend in the kitchen when she dropped her phone. My dad, who was passing by, caught it before it hit the floor. He claimed it was because he was half-ninja. I wasn't excited until I realized that made me a quarter ninja. MLIA
Today, I realized that if you put your thumb, pointer, ring, and pinky finger on a desk and lift the middle one, it looks like a long-necked dinosaur. I'm a senior in high school and I amused myself for an hour and a half "walking" around my desk. MLIA
Today, I woke up with a piece of toast on my face. I have no clue as to how it got there because I live alone. All I know is that my window was open overnight. MLIA
Today, while I was sitting in chemistry, a girl asked if she could have some of my water. After she drank it, I told her with mock horror that she drank dihydrogen monoxide (which is just water). She started screaming and told our teacher. He pretended to be shocked and sent her to the nurse. Then he gave me extra credit. I love chem. MLIA
Today, while walking through the school parking lot to walk home after school, I heard what sounded like an ice cream truck. Considering it was September and I was still on school property, I was very confused. I then saw a car full of seniors drive by, blasting an ice-cream truck jingle, throwing ice cream sandwiches at unexpecting walkers. I got two. MLIA.
Today, I had to decide between wearing a stereotypically cute shirt or my favorite t-shirt that has a picture of a dinosaur crying on it with the caption, "All my friends died!" I got the most compliments out of anyone today, including teachers. Dinosaur for the win. MLIA
Today, a guy came to school wearing a dress. He got in trouble for dress code. Not becuase he was wearing a dress, but becuase the dress didnt have sleeves. I love my school. MLIA.
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I no longer welcome in that particular store.FML
Today, at dinner, my mom asked my sister how many kids she wanted. My sister replied "I want 22, each with a different daddy so I can get more child support" My sister is never allowed outside again. MLIA
Today, I met a guy named Tim, and he was wearing an MIT shirt. I said, "Oh, you go to MIT?" and he said, "What? Oh, no. This shirt says "TIM" in the mirror." MLIA
Today, I was messing around with Mystery Google and typed in "Crazy Stalkers". It came up with "I can see you, look out your window." Sure enough, my boyfriend was sitting in the tree outside my window, about to throw an acorn at it to scare me. Thank you Mystery Google, from keeping my pants free of startled urine. MLIA
Today, my eighth grade brother walked in the house from school and told me that his whole class changed their ringtones to coughs just in case it were to go off. I sat on the couch in amazement. Why didn't I think of that? MLIA
Today, I was standing in line for coffee on campus and I suddenly heard Kim Possible's ringtone come from the girl standing behind me. She fulfilled my hopes by answering it and saying "What's the sitch?". MLIA
Today, my friend and I went to the Harry Potter exhibit at the Museum of Science. WE were leaving the museum part, already having spent hours in the exhibit. There was an automatic hand stamper and to be festive the stamp was a lightning bolt. I watched as a little boy stuck his head under and get his forehead stamped. He ran away screaming triumphantly as his mother chased him. Hope for future generations has been renewed. MLIA
Today, I was trying to telepathically get my best friends attention in english class, after several attempts a boy I had never talked to before turned to me, smiled and then shushed me politely. I am terrified of him. MLIA
Today, I went to get my sonogram, and while in the waiting room, a bubbly little 6 yr. old decided to strike up a conversation. She thought she'd tell me where babies come from. Her exact words were, "... and then this dork brings this baby into your life!". I politely asked if she meant "stork". She just looked at me like I was crazy, and said "Obviously, you've never met my dad". Best. Kid. Ever. MLIA