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Old 05-31-2006, 08:19 AM   #1
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Buffalo meat is getting more popular. I suppose soon we can expect cold cuts made from it -- possibly called "buffaloney."

Try a rice cake? The only way you know you're eating something is when you open your mouth to talk, stuff floats out.

It's called "fast" food because you're supposed to eat it really fast. Otherwide, you might actually taste it.

The big problem with "fast" food is that it slows down when it hits your stomach. And it just parks there--and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship.

Did you ever notice how a saucer of lime Jell-O looks like a contact lense for an octopus?

How do we really know that lime Jell-O isn't just cherry Jell-O that's not ripe yet? Or grape Jell-O that's faded?

Protect yourself. Statistics show that nobody was ever murdered while eating lime Jell-O. For making it, yes, but not while eating it.

I know that lime Jell-O must always be in great demand at the supermarket -- because you never see a sale on lime Jell-O.

Teach your neighborhood birds to breakdance. Fill your bird bath with lime Jell-O.

Did you ever wonder why they always serve you lime Jell-O when you're in the hospital? Because when you're sick you can't fight back.

My barbecue this year really has a great charred, smokey taste. Im using the wood from my deck that burned down last year.

Rare ... medium ... well done..... Ive got all three types of burns on my hands from barbecuing this weekend.

The key to good barbecuing is having a sauce that can cover up your mistakes.

I love to barbecue. Last night I barbecued a chicken, a basting brush, and two Betty Crocker oven mittens.

I barbecued last weekend, but it wasn't such a big deal. Only two alarms.

I like cookouts because things smell bettter outdoors than indoors--except the Cubs.

I look at barbecuing as a challenge. Me, I want to char where no man has charred before!


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Old 05-31-2006, 12:08 PM   #2
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Teach your neighborhood birds to breakdance. Fill your bird bath with lime Jell-O.


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