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Old 05-24-2014, 01:47 AM   #111
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Originally Posted by Kayelle View Post
Sadly Cave, people trying to cheat their employers isn't all that unusual.
Kayelle, when I was at the engineering company, I was also in charge of supplies for our division of 300 employees. Every September and January I would have to lock the supply closet. Their kids were heading back to school and needed new supplies like expensive ring binders, paper, pens, etc.

There was one employee who was always 'losing' stuff. Expensive pens, paper, etc. I finally had to talk to his boss about it. He was giving the stuff to his kid.
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Old 05-24-2014, 09:00 AM   #112
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When I was young and dating, I went out with 2 guys who not only put our dinner on their expense account as a business dinner, but told me that they did it. Bragging. I definately was NOT impressed. It was as though they didn't like me enough to spend their own money on me, plus it told me they were dishonest. Never went out with either of them again. One of them was a government employee. Doesn't that mean I paid for my own dinner, plus his? LOL
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:21 AM   #113
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What I don't understand is why you are so hung up on this "honesty" thing.
I am not hung up on it, I live it.

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I don't consider it dishonest unless the "replacement" receipt is for more than the original or there never was an original. BTW, not everyone has a company credit card.
I can understand, substituting a $10.00 work related receipt with another $10.00 work related receipt.
It is the non-work related receipt used to recover money I have issue with.
Your employer should not responsible, because you are irresponsible.

Frankly I am a bit surprised we are bickering over right and wrong. Regardless the amount.

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Exactly. The company assumes if you are in a position of having a business lunch, then you own a credit card. Use that and present a receipt. You will be reimbursed. You are less likely to abuse your own credit card.
For one, a corporate credit card may have my name on it, but by no means is it my card.
I never saw a statement and it was my responsibility to use it in the correct manner and to be fully trusted with it.
Being truthful and forthcoming was part of my contract with the company.

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When I was young and dating, I went out with 2 guys who not only put our dinner on their expense account as a business dinner, but told me that they did it. Bragging. I definately was NOT impressed. It was as though they didn't like me enough to spend their own money on me, plus it told me they were dishonest. Never went out with either of them again. One of them was a government employee. Doesn't that mean I paid for my own dinner, plus his? LOL
I have also seen others use their cards for personal use. Its not right and its stealing from your employer.
Bravo for standing for good. We need more like you.
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Old 05-25-2014, 01:38 PM   #114
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I am not hung up on it, I live it.



I can understand, substituting a $10.00 work related receipt with another $10.00 work related receipt.
It is the non-work related receipt used to recover money I have issue with.
Your employer should not responsible, because you are irresponsible.

Frankly I am a bit surprised we are bickering over right and wrong. Regardless the amount.



For one, a corporate credit card may have my name on it, but by no means is it my card.
I never saw a statement and it was my responsibility to use it in the correct manner and to be fully trusted with it.
Being truthful and forthcoming was part of my contract with the company.



I have also seen others use their cards for personal use. Its not right and its stealing from your employer.
Bravo for standing for good. We need more like you.
+1

As a past business owner, and also a past employee I've seen both sides of the coin. Far too many employees have some misguided idea that it's ok to even take one pencil (as Addie mentioned) from the man who writes the paychecks. I've never understood that, even before I was a business owner. I can't begin to tell you how many expensive tools were "lost" on jobs only to be replaced by company funds. Curious that when employees were finally held responsible for the provided tools, nothing was ever "lost" again. My husband was one of the "good guy" employers, and still he was shafted on a regular basis. It still makes my blood boil.
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:20 AM   #115
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Update:

MIL is settled and is doing well. But I am very concerned about my wife.
Since my MIL moved in, my wife has not stopped working around the house.
I have never seen the laundry basket turned over so much in my entire life.
Constant work with no let up.
I try to get her to slow down and she just will not listen.
I am concerned for her health and well being.

We are going on vacation next week and hope to discuss this with her then.
Why would she all of a sudden turn into a tornado?
I found her doing laundry when she should and could have been in bed.
I have not seen her sit down or rest since my MIL moved in.
She is also working her fingers to the bone at my MIL house as they are trying to clean it up to sell it.
In addition I have been doing more myself. To be of some assistance.

Any ideas as to why this has happened and is there anything I can do.
I am very concerned she will not make it one year at this pace.
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:25 AM   #116
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Perhaps she's trying to live up to her perception of how her mom kept house. She doesn't want mom to be able to criticize her home as not being clean.

ETA: Thanks for coming back with an update.
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:27 AM   #117
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Maybe your wife is trying to prove to her mother that she is a good house keeper. Might be trying to live up to her idea of her mother's standards.
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:38 AM   #118
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Maybe your wife is trying to prove to her mother that she is a good house keeper. Might be trying to live up to her idea of her mother's standards.
This does sound like a matter from her childhood. Quite possibly as a child, she felt like she could never please her mother and she is constantly trying to prove to her that she is now as good as her mother expects her to be. Has your MIL said anything to her or noticed herself? How about a quiet conversation with your MIL. See what she has to say about it.
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:56 AM   #119
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Perhaps she's trying to live up to her perception of how her mom kept house. She doesn't want mom to be able to criticize her home as not being clean.

ETA: Thanks for coming back with an update.
My wife is now and was always a much better housekeeper than my MIL.
It does seem they both have differing views on the past.

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Maybe your wife is trying to prove to her mother that she is a good house keeper. Might be trying to live up to her idea of her mother's standards.
I don't know. My MIL has nothing to do but watch everything my wife does. Its almost like having a puppy that follows you everywhere you go. My wife can go nowhere without my MIL expecting to go.
She even asks my wife where they are going the next day, when my wife has no plans to go anywhere.
The only time my wife has alone time is in the basement laundry room or out in the garden.
My MIL is helping too. Dishes and things she can do.
My wife is not one to seek counsel from anyone.
I am very concerned.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Addie View Post
This does sound like a matter from her childhood. Quite possibly as a child, she felt like she could never please her mother and she is constantly trying to prove to her that she is now as good as her mother expects her to be. Has your MIL said anything to her or noticed herself? How about a quiet conversation with your MIL. See what she has to say about it.
Not sure Addie. Its not normal behavior. By the time we get on our vacation, I am concerned she will not have the strength to enjoy it.
Getting ready for the vacation is the newest excuse for non stop work.

I am starting to get a bit angry. I don't like this feeling and it seems as if something bad is to happen?
Not sure why, but I have a bad feeling about this whole thing.
If I had known this before my MIL moved in with us, I would have not allowed it to happen.

BTW. My MIL has made a 180 turn for the positive in her health.
All her tests are excellent and all the symptoms that brought her here seem to be gone. Her doctors have marveled at her rebound.
Much of it was diet. She is now eating well. Very well.
In fact, if this keeps up as it is, I expect my MIL to outlive both of us.

I am worried about my girl. We just had our 22nd anniversary yesterday.
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Old 07-25-2014, 01:25 PM   #120
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You're a good guy in my book RB. I sure hope you're going on that vacation without MIL.
I think I can relate to your wife's behavior around her mother. There's an old book/movie I recall called "I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can". While the story of Valium addiction does not apply, the title does. It sounds to me like she's overdosing on Adrenaline. She could very well be suffering from prolonged anxiety/panic attacks, and that's very serious as I know only too well.
I don't want to sound like an alarmist RB but if this continues I know you will insist on getting her some help.
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