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Old 11-14-2014, 07:36 AM   #141
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I agree with everyone's comments. You were there for her when she needed you, and she is probably just as anxious to get back to her own home now that she's feeling better.

Give your wife a big hug!
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Old 11-14-2014, 12:18 PM   #142
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Thanks so much for sharing this journey John. I'm so glad her health now allows her to be independent again, for both her and your wife. It's always been my opinion there's no home big enough for two grown women. You deserve a big gold star!!
That is a true fact. It seemed the experiment proved that. Thanks for the kind words.

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I agree with everyone's comments. You were there for her when she needed you, and she is probably just as anxious to get back to her own home now that she's feeling better.

Give your wife a big hug!
That was the very first thing I did. Hug my wife.

Funny thing is I just shopped at Costco and vacuum packed everything for three people.
They are already there today finishing up with some curtains.
I will help her move back this weekend.
Relieved is the best way to describe my feelings.

To all the others that told me I was a good SIL. Thank you. I was doing nothing more than anyone else would do in this situation.
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Old 11-14-2014, 06:59 PM   #143
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John, I can't begin to tell you how glad I am to hear of this happy new beginning for your family. That's wonderful news! Not everyone's turns out that way...your family is sure one of the lucky ones.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:22 PM   #144
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To all the others that told me I was a good SIL. Thank you. I was doing nothing more than anyone else would do in this situation.
BTW John, NO, not everybody would have done the same in your situation..
Some would think they would, some would hope they would, and then there are the few who actually did it like you...the measure of a good husband and SIL. Well done, indeed.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:14 AM   #145
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RB, I don't know if your realize it or not, but the one thing the elderly fear the most is losing their independence. Whether it be through a fall and broken hip, dementia, or other illness, losing their independence is the really big one. All of their adult life they have been responsible for the well being of others, and when that caring is taken away from them, it can send them into a long depression. They need to be in comfortable familiar surrounding such as their own home. They need to know that they can still take care of themselves, even if to a lesser degree.

With today's baby boomers now fast approaching or are in their elderly years already, society is beginning to understand just how important that freedom is for them. I hope that when the time comes for you to be there, that there will be someone to be as thoughtful and helpful to you and your wife, as you were to your mother-in-law.
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Old 11-16-2014, 12:16 PM   #146
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We (my wife and myself) spent all day Sat. moving her furniture and belongings. Worked until well after dark. We both have physical limitations yet we find a way to get things done.
My wife is at this moment packing up more things to take today.
What I really noticed is how not one other person helped. Not either of here sisters, or either of my BIL's. There were several instances where just one, even one person could have made this job go much better that it did.
You see in here family, we are the laborers. The others have never or will ever do any manual labor.
The day will come, when they need help with something.
This day will be my turn to have the headache or other illness that her family all had yesterday and today.
I am also certain there will be talk about how we did it wrong and the advice will start rolling in as to how to do what we already did, the right way.

On a last note. Both of my SIL's are upset she is moving back home. We are certain it s because they might have to pitch in now. No more certainty that we shoulder all the responsibility, but now they too will most likely get that call when we are not available. First call is always to my wife and the task left at her feet.
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Old 11-16-2014, 12:29 PM   #147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roll_Bones View Post
We (my wife and myself) spent all day Sat. moving her furniture and belongings. Worked until well after dark. We both have physical limitations yet we find a way to get things done.
My wife is at this moment packing up more things to take today.
What I really noticed is how not one other person helped. Not either of here sisters, or either of my BIL's. There were several instances where just one, even one person could have made this job go much better that it did.
You see in here family, we are the laborers. The others have never or will ever do any manual labor.
The day will come, when they need help with something.
This day will be my turn to have the headache or other illness that her family all had yesterday and today.
I am also certain there will be talk about how we did it wrong and the advice will start rolling in as to how to do what we already did, the right way.

On a last note. Both of my SIL's are upset she is moving back home. We are certain it s because they might have to pitch in now. No more certainty that we shoulder all the responsibility, but now they too will most likely get that call when we are not available. First call is always to my wife and the task left at her feet.
I know how you feel, RB. I've walked in your shoes and fully understand the circumstances. In the end, all you can do is your best and let the dust fly however it does.

It's interesting to me how selfish and judgmental some people can be and be put out when others point out their failings. In the end, things will play out and those who need to be brought up short will be, perhaps not by you, but by someone else.

You did a fine job despite any limitations and can go to sleep at night with a clear conscience.
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Old 11-16-2014, 07:35 PM   #148
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roll_Bones View Post
We (my wife and myself) spent all day Sat. moving her furniture and belongings. Worked until well after dark. We both have physical limitations yet we find a way to get things done.
My wife is at this moment packing up more things to take today.
What I really noticed is how not one other person helped. Not either of here sisters, or either of my BIL's. There were several instances where just one, even one person could have made this job go much better that it did.
You see in here family, we are the laborers. The others have never or will ever do any manual labor.
The day will come, when they need help with something.
This day will be my turn to have the headache or other illness that her family all had yesterday and today.
I am also certain there will be talk about how we did it wrong and the advice will start rolling in as to how to do what we already did, the right way.

On a last note. Both of my SIL's are upset she is moving back home. We are certain it s because they might have to pitch in now. No more certainty that we shoulder all the responsibility, but now they too will most likely get that call when we are not available. First call is always to my wife and the task left at her feet.
Your post reminds me of a quotation from Teddy Roosevelt
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat
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Old 11-16-2014, 07:54 PM   #149
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Originally Posted by Souschef View Post
Your post reminds me of a quotation from Teddy Roosevelt
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat
Applause!!!

<standing ovation>
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Old 11-16-2014, 08:19 PM   #150
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Applause!!!

<standing ovation>
+1!

I'm sorry to hear of other family members lack of cooperation and help, though. Things have a way of working out and you'll be the one able to sleep peacefully at night. Glad to hear your mom is doing so well.
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