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Old 04-28-2014, 05:56 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by Cheryl J View Post
I did read it, Andy... Some family members went through something similar several years ago. A dependent can only earn a certain amount per year - I think it's around $3500 or so. The sale of her house will put her income above that, so she'll have to file a return and pay taxes on that income. It's my understanding that she cannot be a qualifying dependent if her income exceeds that maximum amount. RB does need to see a professional, they can offer suggestions on where she can invest the $$ to reduce her taxable income. I could be wrong of course, just saying from experience with my own family members.
Just a thought. Might she be better off letting her house to tenants rather than selling it?
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Old 04-28-2014, 06:10 PM   #42
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I wish I had a button to push under each post as all of you have been much help to me.

I also thought about the tax deduction. We have not had a Dependant in years.

I will talk with my wife first chance i get and see what her opinion is. After all, she does everything around here and now this extra work. Its only been 4 days and my wife looks exhausted already. Hopefully she will calm down and take care of herself!
I am very lucky to have my wife. I am even more lucky my MIL and I get along very well.

Thanks everyone. I will keep y'all posted.
It's important, even if your MiL is frail, for her to feel she is helping you and your DW and not being a burden. Obviously what she can do will be dependent on her capabilities but even simple things like sitting and shelling the peas for dinner or laying the table for meals or folding small items of laundry will help her integrate into the household and feel useful. Involving her in decisions about what's for dinner or what colour to paint the sitting room will make her feel at home.
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Old 04-28-2014, 11:43 PM   #43
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Just a thought. Might she be better off letting her house to tenants rather than selling it?
That's up to RB, his family, and a professional to work out. I was only saying what I knew from my own family's circumstances.
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Old 04-28-2014, 11:47 PM   #44
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It's important, even if your MiL is frail, for her to feel she is helping you and your DW and not being a burden. Obviously what she can do will be dependent on her capabilities but even simple things like sitting and shelling the peas for dinner or laying the table for meals or folding small items of laundry will help her integrate into the household and feel useful. Involving her in decisions about what's for dinner or what colour to paint the sitting room will make her feel at home.
I so agree with this.
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Old 04-29-2014, 12:17 PM   #45
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I base my comments on my experience with my own mother. Of course she should pay for her living expenses. And it's shouldn't be any one business except those people sharing the house hold. My mother (my husband's mother-in-law) lived with us for 5 years. My husband expected nothing from her but she would have no part of being a charity case living off "her kids". My mother wanted to pay way too much but he wanted her to pay nothing. In the we came up with $350 a month since one of her monthly dividends was $350. She also wanted to tip the house keeper that came once week because the lady changed her sheets and cleaned mom's bathroom. Later I found out the "tip" was $40 a week on top of what I was paying. Actually you shouldn't have to ask for a "contribution". She should volunteer something and open negotiations. If I moved in with my kids, I would expect to pay something for my lodging and I would tell him so.
This is what I hope will transpire before we have to have the "discussion".
I hope she makes the discussion happen herself.
I have known my MIL for 25 years and I have yet to see her offer to pay for anything. Ever.
Eat out, she never offers. Drive somewhere, she never offers to help with gas. My FIL was the same way. Thrifty is the word I will use here.
When he died, they found thousands of dollars hidden away at home and in financial institutions. Everyone thought he had nothing.
This knowledge is whats making this so hard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Cook View Post
It's important, even if your MiL is frail, for her to feel she is helping you and your DW and not being a burden. Obviously what she can do will be dependent on her capabilities but even simple things like sitting and shelling the peas for dinner or laying the table for meals or folding small items of laundry will help her integrate into the household and feel useful. Involving her in decisions about what's for dinner or what colour to paint the sitting room will make her feel at home.
She is already helping as much as we will let her. Since I do all the cooking, she can help my wife with the other chores and I see that to be no issue. Like I said before she is in very good shape for her age.

To everyone else that contributed to this thread I want to thank each one of you.
I now have ideas to work with. I am going to allow this to settle down (it already is) before we do anything. I will talk with my wife asap.

Just for the record. She still owns the house and its not up for sale yet.
Her financial shape and power of attorney is with my wifes older sister. She is also her "Executor". She (SIL) lives only a couple miles from us. So that part is covered.
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Old 04-29-2014, 12:34 PM   #46
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That's up to RB, his family, and a professional to work out. I was only saying what I knew from my own family's circumstances.
Sorry, Cheryl, I wasn't commenting on your circumstances. It was, as I said, just a thought that might be interesting to RB & his MiL.

I have been advised to let my late mother's house rather than selling it for the time being because the market is so down at the moment. Also it may be advantageous for her to have an income from the property rather than a lump sum in the bank. Obviously, I don't know how your tax system works.
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Old 04-29-2014, 12:50 PM   #47
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Renting MIL's home carries another set of problems. While the income could be good, there is some level of effort to act as a landlord. That would probably fall to RB. If something in the home needs fixing, cleaning, replacement, etc. RB has to manage or do that work.

Selling the home and investing the proceeds may be a less stressful option.
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Old 04-29-2014, 02:53 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by Andy M. View Post
Renting MIL's home carries another set of problems. While the income could be good, there is some level of effort to act as a landlord. That would probably fall to RB. If something in the home needs fixing, cleaning, replacement, etc. RB has to manage or do that work.

Selling the home and investing the proceeds may be a less stressful option.
That's what I was thinking.
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Old 04-29-2014, 03:03 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Andy M. View Post
Renting MIL's home carries another set of problems. While the income could be good, there is some level of effort to act as a landlord. That would probably fall to RB. If something in the home needs fixing, cleaning, replacement, etc. RB has to manage or do that work.

Selling the home and investing the proceeds may be a less stressful option.
Speaking as a new landlord trying to sell Mom's house from several states away, I agree. Everything that could possibly go wrong, did. The basement sprung a leak, all the plumbing had issues, the septic pump had to be replaced, the dishwasher died, etc. etc. Thankfully, my realtor/property manager was on top of things, but the cost of all the repairs pretty much ate up all the rent. Thankfully, we have an interested buyer.
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Old 04-29-2014, 05:45 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by Roll_Bones View Post
This is what I hope will transpire before we have to have the "discussion".
I hope she makes the discussion happen herself.
I have known my MIL for 25 years and I have yet to see her offer to pay for anything. Ever.
Eat out, she never offers. Drive somewhere, she never offers to help with gas. My FIL was the same way. Thrifty is the word I will use here.
When he died, they found thousands of dollars hidden away at home and in financial institutions. Everyone thought he had nothing.
This knowledge is whats making this so hard.
Ykies RB!! No wonder you're so worried about this! It sounds that although she may be as sweet as she is, that she's used to having a free ride in life. She may be expecting a free ride once more. With the background you just described, you can be sure she won't be making an offer of paying her own way.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Roll_Bones View Post
She is already helping as much as we will let her. Since I do all the cooking, she can help my wife with the other chores and I see that to be no issue. Like I said before she is in very good shape for her age.

To everyone else that contributed to this thread I want to thank each one of you.
I now have ideas to work with. I am going to allow this to settle down (it already is) before we do anything. I will talk with my wife asap.

Just for the record. She still owns the house and its not up for sale yet.
Her financial shape and power of attorney is with my wifes older sister. She is also her "Executor". She (SIL) lives only a couple miles from us. So that part is covered.
Without your wife having POA, it further reinforces my opinion in having all the sisters in on the conversation with her. You need them all in your corner, in case she needs convincing that the cost of her care isn't just another free ride.
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