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Old 05-16-2008, 08:17 PM   #21
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County

Contacting the county only made me more depressed. When I sent email the man kept defending his actions. I questioned him why he was so indifferent to every question I asked concerning my neighbor. I just found out this guy is his brother in law. do you believe this? Must I go over his head to get right help? After I found this out, I wrote his brother in law again and told him he should live next to this guy and see how he likes it? I know this isn't getting me anyplace but how this works out I'll never know. Seems bad guys get all the breaks. I feel sorry babetoo that you have this kind of situation but it should give you some kind of relief to know you are not alone, I got them here too.
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Old 05-16-2008, 11:06 PM   #22
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I would go over his head. You can always try and make it public and see what happens (in a local newspaper or something) and see what happens. Make it a politicians problem and suddenly things start to happen. Especially when they start asking why the BIL can't do his job suddenly when it is his responsibility to hand it off to someone else to handle because of personal bias.
Here we have a 'What's your problem?' section in the newspaper, so far everyone that has been featured in it has finally seen a solution to their problems...
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Old 05-16-2008, 11:19 PM   #23
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Good idea Maverick. I agree. Take photos. Let us seem them, if you can. We'll come out en mass through emails. We'll get it done. Go to the council meetings, the press is always there, or call your councilman/woman. Go to the fire inspector. From experience though, I can tell you, in person works a heck of alot better than some anonymous e-mail or phone call.
Put a face to yourself and you can't be ignored.
Maybe if you make a nuisence of yourself, they'll take care of it just to get rid of you.
If you pay them to do NOTHING, why would they do anything?
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Old 05-17-2008, 06:06 AM   #24
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There is a great article in today's Washington Post on how to deal with problem neighbors in situations like yours. They give a list of Do's and Don'ts.

The Problem Next Door - washingtonpost.com

Hope this helps.
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Old 05-17-2008, 09:07 AM   #25
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Washington Post

DaveSoMD, thank you for your interest and I just don't understand how people find such informative articles. Really benefit many people who they say are having more of these kinds of problems. As it states, the economy has a big influence on how you feel. The finances are affected more easily now. It does go to show that people should appreciate more. This country was once the 'land of milk and honey' but no more. Personally, I don't feel we will ever be at the top anymore. Not in my lifetime at least. Only grateful I did have security when I did.

I don't really know if this would bother me as much if he wouldn't store things he doesn't want to see himself. He completely ignores the fact that this is our main entrance and he could care less. If we did have plans to sell our house soon we would definitely have to hire an attorney. After three years of asking this man what he was going to do with the the limbs, Christmas tree, odds and ends of wood, he had laying there I had no choice but to contact someone in authority. This was his BIL. I had to speak to him about this pile of stuff after an exterminator at my house informed me of Recluse Spiders in the house and pointed out the wood pile wasn't helping. I felt threatened by this fact.

Maverick, thanks for advice. Sounds like you been through this before. It truly is curse when you have to live around people who are so only self centered.

Side note: When I am asked to collect for different causes, no one except one individual gave a donation for the cause. Sometimes no one gives. It got so embarrassing that I refuse now when they call to ask me to collect. I tell them I give when they send me letter, I will not go and ask neighbors anymore. Just $1 would be sufficient. This is a shock to me.

I truly am thankful that I can write and ask personal questions on here. You make me feel like I am not abnormal with wanting things the way I do. Inside your house is your mess, outside should try to be kept as nice as when you bought it.

Thanks very much for all your time.
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Old 05-17-2008, 09:14 AM   #26
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You are welcome!

Finding the article was true serindipidy (sp?). I get the Post delivered everyday and this was the front-page article on the Realestate section. The other coincidence is that I am planning on building a new shed this summer and there as a big article in the same section on building a shed.

Guess it was just a lucky day all around.
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Old 05-17-2008, 10:33 AM   #27
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Thumbs up Thank you, Dave, for the excellent article!

The Problem Next Door - washingtonpost.com

I have been on both sides of the problem. I have neighbors who hate what I do and think it is unsightly, and I feel the same way about what they do! Very good advice.
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Old 05-17-2008, 01:45 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tdejarnette View Post
The Problem Next Door - washingtonpost.com


I have been on both sides of the problem. I have neighbors who hate what I do and think it is unsightly, and I feel the same way about what they do! Very good advice.
Did you try talking to them about it? I sure did, and hence the long time it took for ME to do something about it. Sometimes you have to know how what you do in your yard affects other people in their yard. What is the saying 'walk in someone else's shoes'. I try to do this or else I speak to them first before I attempt to make a change.
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Old 05-17-2008, 01:49 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by DaveSoMD View Post
You are welcome!

Finding the article was true serindipidy (sp?). I get the Post delivered everyday and this was the front-page article on the Realestate section. The other coincidence is that I am planning on building a new shed this summer and there as a big article in the same section on building a shed.

Guess it was just a lucky day all around.
Whenever something like this happens my brother also says serendipity. i just don't worry about whatever it is but it sure resolves lot of questions. Dave, if you do build shed, please don't use building to store junk behind it if you have neighbors behind the shed. They wouldn't want to see it either. Wherever you put it I wish you good luck with no headaches.
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Old 05-17-2008, 06:54 PM   #30
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Nice article.
I think the biggest problem with our neighbor is his perspective. He sees things only from his yard, and refuses to see things the other way. He grumbles and complains over every little thing, and we tried to be accommodating, but he only got worse. I think he is one of those kinds that feeds on conflict. Mind you these are all small things, like the fact that he thinks our garden is too big and there should be more lawn, not that it is messy or overgrown or weedy (DW does a good job of keeping it nice, and everyone else in the neighborhood loves it including most of the Code Enforcement Officers that patrol the area). Or he complains because he doesn't like the color of my trim on my house, or the color of my fence, or the type of edgers I choose to use for the borders of the garden, or even the size of my patio.
But, heaven forbid, one day we politely asked him to trim up his tree as it was leaning on our electrical line, busting up our sidewalk, bending the fence, and drooping all the way down on our garage. He refused, so we looked into alternatives. We were told we could trim it ourselves then take him to court for the damages it caused as well as the cost of trimming it up. So we informed him we were thinking of trimming it ourselves (omitting the suing part, figuring if I got it trimmed up I would be happy and stop there). He threw a hissy fit and told us if we touch it he will sue us. Since then he has been calling Code Enforcement every week, and even calling the police on occasion claiming all kinds of crazy things. Last year he even tried to run over DW with the lawn mower.
The town and police always come out, and always end up finding he is lying to them just to get them to come to our house so he can go to the town board and use that to claim we are horrible neighbors and they need to do something. By the way, lying to the police or Code Enforcement is illegal, and fine-able. They have as of yet to do it. So we went over their heads to the local ADA's office, who went back to the police and instructed them to track every single call the guy made. When it started to pile up, he planed to have us file harassment charges against the guy. Instead his friend in the town found out and told him, so now he has stopped.
DW was peeved as she feels the town is protecting someone who is rather senile and a very unfriendly public drunkard, myself I don't mind as he has not bothered us, called anyone on us, or harassed us in any way since then. But, the tree has to be addressed and fixed.
So, this year, looks like we will be trimming the tree and going to court...
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