"Murphy's Laws" --Kitchen

[urmaniac13]

What are your Murphy's Laws in your kitchen?

There are many in ours, but some of the most typical are...

-If you stand in front of the oven/stove top and wait for your thing to be cooked, it takes forever and a day. If you decide to make some use of that waiting time and walk off, it burns in 2 seconds.

-When you are cooking multiple items simultaneously, no matter how carefully you plan on them, the point where each of them require your immediate attention arrives all at the same moment.

-Five minutes after you FINALLY cleaned the inside of the microwave, someone decides to reheat a bowl of tomato soup uncovered.

-No matter how carefully you control the contents of your fridge, that scary looking green object keeps appearing from nowhere at the back corner.

-Even if you perfectly follow the recipe, the end result never looks like that immaculate photo on the cookbook.

 

[GB]

Great list urmaniac13. I especially like the one about the scary green looking object

The one I would add to the list is:
No matter how careful you "think" you are being when pouring something into a smaller container (sugar, flour, salt, etc.) it will always end up on the floor unless you use two or more hands pay attention

 

[aussie girl]

-If you stand in front of the oven/stove top and wait for your thing to be cooked, it takes forever and a day. If you decide to make some use of that waiting time and walk off, it burns in 2 seconds.

-When you are cooking multiple items simultaneously, no matter how carefully you plan on them, the point where each of them require your immediate attention arrives all at the same moment.

The above mentioned 2 happen to me on a semi-regular basis.

and also

The darn smoke alarm that goes off every morning while making toast, will not make a sound when acrid smoke filled the kitchen when I accidently boiled-dry the rice and 'killed' my saucepan.

 

[CharlieD]

+ Sandwich always fall on the floor with the buttered side down.

 

[AllenOK]

This one's from more of a professional viewpoint:

-When you actually have a catered function that's scheduled early, they will not arrive on time, but rather an hour or so late.

-Even if they show up on time, they're going to spend an extra hour doing the toasts, so you're still running behind.

-No matter how many people choose the chicken, fish, or steak option on a plated "Table d'Hote" menu, a small percentage will change their minds to the steak, and one or two oddballs will become last-minute vegetarians.

Normally, in a restaurant situation, these things can be planned for. On the Table d'Hote menu, we usually cook up a few extra of whatever the choices are, to plan for the last-minute change-of-mind folks. However, I've seen as many as 11 people out of 120 decide they want steak at the last minute. Luckily, our vegetarian dish for plated parties is based on something that the "hot line" makes, so if we need one in a hurry, give us 5 minutes and it's done.

 

[urmaniac13]

Well Allen, I did work in a kitchen before and well, as you say in a restaurant situation, things can be planned for, but we also have to deal with the customers who can always mess up that "plan"... and when they are involved, the list of "THE LAWS" can become endless!!

 

[AllenOK]

That's the truth! The key to being a good cook or chef is how to be flexible and adaptive to any suituation.

I remember, back in High School, I saw a posted that was titled "Murphy was an Optimist", and it listed 50 or more variations of his basic principle.

 

[luvs]

-nomatter how many times you glance at that pot of pasta on the stove to make sure it's not boiling over, it will boil over when you look away that one last time.

-after you see the pasta boiling over, you will dive across the kitchen trying to keep what has already happened from happening.

-and nomatter how many times you have made admirally perfect pasta, if there's company a-comin, your pasta will stick together in a big 'ol lump once it's done.

-then there won't be time to make another pot of it.

-you'll all end up eating re-warmed Chinese take-out and smiling as though no one notices it's warmed through moo-shu pork from that little place around the corner, and then, before you can turn out the lights for the night,
you'll spend 25 minutes scrubbing the boil-over water and silently griping.

-then you'll go to bed and sigh and be like, 'that is the LAST time i am having company for at least a year. absolutely THE last.'

-then the phone will ring the next morning, and you will find out that company is coming later on that night.......

 

[urmaniac13]

-nomatter how many times you glance at that pot of pasta on the stove to make sure it's not boiling over, it will boil over when you look away that one last time.

-after you see the pasta boiling over, you will dive across the kitchen trying to keep what has already happened from happening.

-and nomatter how many times you have made admirally perfect pasta, if there's company a-comin, your pasta will stick together in a big 'ol lump once it's done.

-then there won't be time to make another pot of it.

-you'll all end up eating re-warmed Chinese take-out and smiling as though no one notices it's warmed through moo-shu pork from that little place around the corner, and then, before you can turn out the lights for the night,
you'll spend 25 minutes scrubbing the boil-over water and silently griping.

-then you'll go to bed and sigh and be like, 'that is the LAST time i am having company for at least a year. absolutely THE last.'

-then the phone will ring the next morning, and you will find out that company is coming later on that night.......

Well luvs, just think positive, it could be worse... that unruly pack of dogs from the neighbour may raid into the kitchen and gobble up your christmas turkey, and you guys have to spend the christmas dinner at a chinese restaurants with the chinese chefs singing weird carols to you....

(have you seen Christmas Story?? eheheh)

 

[aussie girl]

-after you see the pasta boiling over, you will dive across the kitchen trying to keep what has already happened from happening.

I really did laugh out loud to this one - really

Human instinct and reaction is a strange thing!

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

If the dishwasher door is open, I will always bang my right shin on it, though it would be simple to just close the door. And the right shin is the one with permanent scarring and tender skin from a serious burn some 25 years back. I merely have to lightly bump it to cause abrasive injure (tearing of the skin).

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[KAYLINDA]

It's the middle of the afternoon...no orders coming in....I start a big baking project....in come the afternoon stragglers! If I hadn't started baking....it would have been dead 'till dinnertime.