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Old 02-27-2012, 11:29 PM   #91
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He knows you have done everything out of love sweetie. I wish I had the right words, but you know that I just went through this as well, and my heart is there with you all. We love you and are praying for you, as well as for comfort and peace for your dad.
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Old 02-27-2012, 11:41 PM   #92
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Laurie, anytime you need to vent or have someone to talk to, there is always someone here who can't sleep, or is doing nothing.

Your father is very fortunate to have two daughters that are capable of making very difficult decisions out of love. He did an amazing job raising his daughters. You haven't signed his death, you have signed his release from pain and to take the next step to receive all the love he deserves.

If anyone has negative words to say to you, don't listen. They have not walked in your shoes. They do not have the pain in their heart that you have in yours.

Cling to your sister for support. Remember she is hurting also. On the way home, why don't the two of you find a church where you can just slip in and find some inner peace. It is amazing what a place of worship can do at a time like this. It doesn't have to be a place of your faith. God is everywhere. And mostly He is in your hurting heart. If you want to get angry at Him, go ahead. He heart is big enough to love you and forgive. If you want to cry, go ahead. He will put his arm arund you and hold you while he dries your tears. He will fill you with resolve to carry on to finish the mission He has given you. You did not make this decison alone. God was there with you and will stay with you as long as you need him.

Godd will bless you. Of that I have no doubt. And remember we are here for you any time of day and night.
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Old 02-28-2012, 02:58 AM   #93
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Thanks, Addie, Barbara and Fiona.

I am feeling a little more settled with the decision and got a chance to talk to a lady from our church who just lost her Mom to Cancer. She looked after her Mom much like I have Dad and we have also both found ourselves isolated from church and friends. We are going to keep in touch and that is such a great feeling.

Tomorrow I have my pain clinic and other than having my cell phone with me constantly, I am going to try to put it all aside for my time there. My sister is taking the day off to be with Dad and meet with the Palliative Care doctor so that is really great.

Another snag in things is my asthma has kicked into high gear and I had to go back on prednisone today. It always elevates my moods and gives me more insomnia than I already have. It is almost midnight here and I have to get up at 5 am. Hopefully I can get some sleep between.
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:05 AM   #94
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Just wanted to express continuing sympathetic thoughts for you and your sister in this difficult time.
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:16 AM   #95
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Will do, LP. It's never easy. I lost my mom a year ago, and Dad is now 86, alone at the retirement home, and saying he is losing his interest in carrying on living. He doesn't want company, just wants to be left alone to ponder his life, where he might be going next etc....

My hubby and I still kidnap him once a week to take him out for a jaunt....but it's just a hard thing to watch, as you say. And it also gives us a glimpse of our own mortality - not easy.

Be well, stay strong....my prayers are with you also.
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:30 AM   #96
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Your dad know Laurie. Don't ever doubt that. You show your love out in the open. It is not hidden. He can see that, but he also knows that because he knows you.

You are going through one of the most difficult things you ever will, but you are doing the right things even though they are so very difficult. Your dad is lucky to have you and I am sure he knows that!
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Old 03-01-2012, 09:54 PM   #97
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Hi everyone.

This will be quick as I am on my net stick and don't have a lot of time on it. Dad has been moved to hospice about a half hour or so from our house but near my in-laws. I will be going home soon but will be staying with them for the weekend and will try and check in once in awhile.

Thanks for all your support. You are part of what is getting me through (along with faith and family).
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:02 PM   #98
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Stay strong, Laurie. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Old 03-01-2012, 11:01 PM   #99
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LPBeier View Post
Hi everyone.

This will be quick as I am on my net stick and don't have a lot of time on it. Dad has been moved to hospice about a half hour or so from our house but near my in-laws. I will be going home soon but will be staying with them for the weekend and will try and check in once in awhile.

Thanks for all your support. You are part of what is getting me through (along with faith and family).
Laurie, what you have done is a courage badge. You have not signed your Dad's death warrant--please don't feel that way--you have done what had to be done out of love. Your dad is pretty special to have someone love him as much as you do. And, that probably is a two-way street. You have put your dad first--as hard as it is for you. You have given your dad the greatest gift you could give him. My thoughts and prayers are with you--I know this has not been an easy road for you, but you've handled it with grace and dignity. Hold tight to your support network, friends, and family. You definitely most loved.
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Old 03-01-2012, 11:21 PM   #100
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Any dad would be fortunate to have a daughter like you who cares so lovingly for her dad. There is no doubt he feels this love and it's important to him.

You all are in our thoughts.
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