Today would have been my parents' 65th wedding anniversary. My Mom passed away 18 years ago next month and today we had my Dad assessed for hospice/palliative care. It has been quite a day.
After several phone calls with doctors, case managers, care coordinators, my sister and a bedside chat with Dad, it has been decided that he is not palliative at this time; however, he is ready for long term care. Dad is okay with this and I, as his primary caregiver for the last three years do feel it is time - for all our sakes.
When this happens I don't know. The care coordinator doesn't seem in any hurry to have him leave, but at the same time we are paying a lot of money (Dad's money) for extra care that her staff can't provide. I am at my pain clinic tomorrow, but hopefully my sister can get hold of the case manager who works out of the facility he is in now to do the assessment soon and get him on "the list".
On top of all of this, I had to start phoning people regarding Dad. His original cleaning lady just happened to be back with the company temporarily and was so excited to come and see him she traded with our current one, only to find out he wasn't here and was doing poorly. He has gone to a senior's day program for the last 2 years and I had to tell them he would not be back. They cried and asked me to please keep them posted. Even the scheduler for our care workers broke down when I told her and she said his two workers have been asking when would he be back.
But tonight I am, for the first time in at least a month, feel a huge calm coming over me. Soon things will be settled. Soon he will at least know this is where he will be for however long he is still in this world. He was not feeling well at all when I saw him but he seemed brighter and finding it easier to cope. That means a lot to me.
If you had told me three years ago I would be dealing with all I have been I don't think I would have brought him home......so I am sure glad I didn't know then.