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Old 10-16-2013, 10:36 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by CatPat View Post
Oh no! People invited to weddings have to buy things for you? I do not know of this!

In our family, the bride comes with everything for a house and the groom pays for the house, or of the rent of it. No one who is invited to the wedding has to buy gifts! The wedding is a celebration with food and much dancing.

That is very odd! It seems to not be right to ask for things such as this.

I am not sure I like this custom.

With love,
~Cat
Interesting. Though some of that sounds familiar I have never heard of people not bringing presents. Russians a lot of time simply bring money as presents so new couple could buy whatever they want.
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Old 10-16-2013, 10:45 AM   #32
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Cat, part of the reasoning behind giving newlyweds wedding gifts is to help them start their household. In earlier days, young couples began married life with very little and these generous gifts gave them a foundation to build on themselves.

Today, however, it is quite different. Many young people are waiting to marry later and both most likely have their own established jobs, which means they have income and have been able to purchase things for themselves. It isn't uncommon for couples to already have doubles of some household items because of this. As a result, some of what those who are about to be married put what appear to be unusual or ultra-luxury items on their registries.

I'm on the fence about registries. There are pros and cons to them.

When I give wedding gifts they are usually something that I make sure is very personal to the couple being married. In other words, if I know they are into cooking, I'll make a special recipe file of a collection of my recipes that include everything from super simple to elegant fare. I hand-write them, clearly, on pretty little cards and put them in a lovely book or decorative recipe box.

Perhaps they like to bake breads. Then, I will put together some of my favorite yeast recipes and include them with some bread pans, etc.

You get the idea.
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Old 10-16-2013, 10:55 AM   #33
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Old 10-16-2013, 10:58 AM   #34
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Cat, part of the reasoning behind giving newlyweds wedding gifts is to help them start their household. In earlier days, young couples began married life with very little and these generous gifts gave them a foundation to build on themselves.

Today, however, it is quite different. Many young people are waiting to marry later and both most likely have their own established jobs, which means they have income and have been able to purchase things for themselves. It isn't uncommon for couples to already have doubles of some household items because of this. As a result, some of what those who are about to be married put what appear to be unusual or ultra-luxury items on their registries.

I'm on the fence about registries. There are pros and cons to them.

When I give wedding gifts they are usually something that I make sure is very personal to the couple being married. In other words, if I know they are into cooking, I'll make a special recipe file of a collection of my recipes that include everything from super simple to elegant fare. I hand-write them, clearly, on pretty little cards and put them in a lovely book or decorative recipe box.

Perhaps they like to bake breads. Then, I will put together some of my favorite yeast recipes and include them with some bread pans, etc.

You get the idea.
I do the same. One year I gave someone several jars of herbs from my garden along with recipes. Another year I gave a couple a nice piece of artwork from a local artist. But many people rely on a registry.
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Old 10-16-2013, 12:26 PM   #35
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In my area, people usually get gifts at bridal showers. For the wedding, most people put money in a card. It used to be that bridal showers were for dish towels, kitchen utensils, and other inexpensive things. Now people get their sheets, towels, dishes and cookware, small kitchen appliances etc at the bridal showers. Many people use the money from the wedding toward their honeymoon, since they already have everything else they need for the house.

Cat, the wedding as you explain it is what I have heard of years ago. The bride was expected to bring a dowry to the marriage. The bigger the dowry, the richer the husband. If you have a wedding and don't want gifts, you will have to specify "No gifts, please" on the invitation, and most people will bring a gift anyway. It is the way things are done in the US. Maybe you will choose to go back to Romania for your wedding. Either way, I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful.

Different areas do it differently. I once went to a wedding in Nebraska where the gifts were opened during the wedding ceremony and put on display in the social hall of the church. After the ceremony, everyone went to the hall to view the gifts and have cake and coffee. That was the reception. Of course, this was 40 years ago. They might not do that anymore.

I would agree with those who say to get just what you need now....something nice, but not extravagant. You might not be interested in the boys at your college, but when you graduate and go out into the workforce, you will meet many educated, gentlemen who are worthy of you, and you will want to be married.
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Old 10-16-2013, 12:30 PM   #36
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Well put, Carol
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Old 10-16-2013, 09:13 PM   #37
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Interesting. Though some of that sounds familiar I have never heard of people not bringing presents. Russians a lot of time simply bring money as presents so new couple could buy whatever they want.
I am not Russian. In our family, we do not do this. It is a tradition of our family and this seems very odd. One does not give a couple gifts or money for it is of the bride to bring of the things of the household and it is of the groom to bring the home. These are how a couple starts with.

The wedding is a celebration of the ceremony, food and dancing.

With love,
~Cat
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Old 10-16-2013, 09:23 PM   #38
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It's a pretty ingrained tradition to give people presents to help celebrate their wedding. We don't have a tradition of princesses with dowries and all that And if you're working, it's likely your presumably American husband will expect you to contribute to the household expenses.

If you don't register, you are likely to receive gifts anyway. Years ago, before there were registries, people would get three toasters and two mixers and so on. Then the trouble becomes returning the extras!
Princesses? Oh no! I am not one of these! This is confusing to me.

Of course I shall work. And anyone who I might marry shall work and be honest or I shall put him to the recycle bin for someone else to tolerate of this.

I will not have the registries. I will have the people of my wedding just to celebrate by to eat and dance.

Mamma says marriage is of both love and sometimes hard work, but it is all wonderful.

I do not need three toasters. Uckk!

With love,
~Cat
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Old 10-16-2013, 09:27 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by Katie H View Post
Cat, part of the reasoning behind giving newlyweds wedding gifts is to help them start their household. In earlier days, young couples began married life with very little and these generous gifts gave them a foundation to build on themselves.

Today, however, it is quite different. Many young people are waiting to marry later and both most likely have their own established jobs, which means they have income and have been able to purchase things for themselves. It isn't uncommon for couples to already have doubles of some household items because of this. As a result, some of what those who are about to be married put what appear to be unusual or ultra-luxury items on their registries.

I'm on the fence about registries. There are pros and cons to them.

When I give wedding gifts they are usually something that I make sure is very personal to the couple being married. In other words, if I know they are into cooking, I'll make a special recipe file of a collection of my recipes that include everything from super simple to elegant fare. I hand-write them, clearly, on pretty little cards and put them in a lovely book or decorative recipe box.

Perhaps they like to bake breads. Then, I will put together some of my favorite yeast recipes and include them with some bread pans, etc.

You get the idea.
This is very nice, Katie! But is it not the greatest gift to one for to pledge to each other all of their life?

This is what the wedding is. And of giving of each other is the only gift I think I shall want.

With love,
~Cat
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Old 10-16-2013, 09:31 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by CarolPa View Post
In my area, people usually get gifts at bridal showers. For the wedding, most people put money in a card. It used to be that bridal showers were for dish towels, kitchen utensils, and other inexpensive things. Now people get their sheets, towels, dishes and cookware, small kitchen appliances etc at the bridal showers. Many people use the money from the wedding toward their honeymoon, since they already have everything else they need for the house.

Cat, the wedding as you explain it is what I have heard of years ago. The bride was expected to bring a dowry to the marriage. The bigger the dowry, the richer the husband. If you have a wedding and don't want gifts, you will have to specify "No gifts, please" on the invitation, and most people will bring a gift anyway. It is the way things are done in the US. Maybe you will choose to go back to Romania for your wedding. Either way, I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful.

Different areas do it differently. I once went to a wedding in Nebraska where the gifts were opened during the wedding ceremony and put on display in the social hall of the church. After the ceremony, everyone went to the hall to view the gifts and have cake and coffee. That was the reception. Of course, this was 40 years ago. They might not do that anymore.

I would agree with those who say to get just what you need now....something nice, but not extravagant. You might not be interested in the boys at your college, but when you graduate and go out into the workforce, you will meet many educated, gentlemen who are worthy of you, and you will want to be married.
Yes, thank you CarolPa! Perhaps I shall meet someone. I shall be thinking of this. I was of thinking just a holiday and festive table for now for Mamma and Papa and some good cookware.

With love,
~Cat
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