"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-12-2008, 06:39 AM   #21
Master Chef
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Galena, IL
Posts: 7,973
This is near and dear to my heart. When I am throwing my big, annual Christmas party, the more the merrier. But if we're going to sit down, or for meals where you make individual servings, you need an accurate head count. Your freinds were rude in bringing others without talking to you first. I don't think you were offensive, they were. I entertain quite a bit, and yes, there are times when I'm happy to have everyone and their siblings and freinds. But they always call me first, or I let them know that it is "open house" or "invited only". I don't think that is rude .... for heaven's sake it is my (your) home and if you're like me, you are entertaining more than your guests do.

Claire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 07:14 AM   #22
Master Chef
texasgirl's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: North Texas
Posts: 9,497
The ones that were there last time, will know exactly who you were addressing. Not rude at all and I'm sure that the ones that went without, are pleased you did this. Don't worry about it anymore. Have your lovely party and have fun with your friends.

texasgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 08:34 AM   #23
Executive Chef
VeraBlue's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: northern NJ
Posts: 3,683
Not at all! Your letter was polite, succinct and direct. If someone is offended, it says more about their character than yours.
How can we sleep while our beds are burning???
VeraBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 08:42 AM   #24
Chef Extraordinaire
buckytom's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: joisey
Posts: 18,585
i'll be there at half past six so we get in on the good grub, ok?

your note was polite and to the point, so not to worry.

umm, just make sure the food doesn't suck, now that you made such a big deal about it...he hee.
in nomine patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti.
beidh ar la linn.
wisdom is often in short supply within ones' ego.
buckytom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 09:25 AM   #25
Senior Cook
Lynd's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: England
Posts: 414
Originally Posted by pacanis View Post
Now..... where's my invite
MK you've opened the flood gates now
Lynd has too many handbags
Lynd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 10:43 AM   #26
Head Chef
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,783
When I am invited to a party, dinner or otherwise, I do not bring extra people along, unless the invite says plus one, or consult the host. I, politely, would have taken her aside, at the time, & explained your concerns. Don't know how the initial invite went out - word of mouth, email, or RSVP. Perhaps the friend felt comfortable enough with your past generosity to bring a bunch along. Still not appropriate. Only you know your friends. I, like Claire, need a headcount, & prefer an RSVP to plan my dinner (amounts), seating etc. Perhaps, in the future, you could send out invites & state the purpose of the party/get together (if you wish), time, & a number to RSVP. I can imagine it was just as embarassing to you & your friends, to come up short because of the thoughtlessness of others. I wouldn't fret about it now. Just have a great time.
*amy* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 10:52 AM   #27
Head Chef
DramaQueen's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Posts: 1,347
No one with any class would bring 4 extra people uninvited to a party of ANY kind. Karen, I think you stated your point clearly and very politely. No one can fault you for that. You did good. Don't stress over it.
Visit my blogsite: Chew On This
DramaQueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 10:57 AM   #28
Executive Chef
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Raton,NM, USA
Posts: 4,573
You did the right thing MK as for me I would have been livid through out the whole party. What they did was really thoughtless. Where I live 45 miles from town my parties are usually just for some of the people that live here. If it was planned ahead and they get company which always involves spending the night at their house my friends will call first to ask permission, so far I have been able to accomodate as I usually make more than enough food but none would just show up with more people with out asking first. If I have a party that is an open house then it's a pot luck and I will make a big pot of chili for frito pies or something like that and out come the paper plates, bowls, etc. After all I want to have fun to.
"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." - Julia Child
jpmcgrew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 11:07 AM   #29
Chief Eating Officer
GB's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
I can not add anything further to what everyone has already said. I know if I got an invitation worded the way you worded yours I would not have any issue with it at all. I would not even think twice about it.

I think the person who brought extra people was terribly rude and should be ashamed of themselves.
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2008, 11:16 AM   #30
Master Chef
Constance's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Illiniois
Posts: 8,175
I have a friend who has always felt free to bring extra people along without calling first. I don't mind when we're having a big hog fest and have plenty of extra food, but her choice of friends is sometimes questionable, and she's brought a few guests that I wished she'd left home.
One evening we were having a fish fry, and Kim was cooking the fish out in the pole barn in his propane deep fryer. Several of the guests were out there with him, while I was in the kitchen getting the rest of the food on the table. I happened to look out the window to see my friend headed for her truck with a big foil-covered plate. She wanted to make sure she and her husband had enough fish for lunch the next day, and took so much there was barely enough to go around for the rest of us.
Thing being, although she's a greedy little pig, she's also a dear friend in so many ways that I just overlook it. Kim did tell her not to bring her friend the coke dealer again.

One time, when we were partying out on the deck in the hot tub, I had another friend who went in to get himself a beer. When he didn't come back for a long while, I went in looking for him, and found he'd discovered the boiled shrimp chilling in the fridge and had eaten almost all of them.

In the case of my first friend...she grew up very poor in a large family, and her motto became, "You snooze, you lose." I also don't think anyone ever taught her any manners except her husband.

The second friend didn't have that excuse. He was just greedy.

I think you handled your situation very well. Some people just don't know their manners.

We get by with a little help from our friends
Constance is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2015 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:09 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.