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Old 09-12-2008, 06:39 AM   #21
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This is near and dear to my heart. When I am throwing my big, annual Christmas party, the more the merrier. But if we're going to sit down, or for meals where you make individual servings, you need an accurate head count. Your freinds were rude in bringing others without talking to you first. I don't think you were offensive, they were. I entertain quite a bit, and yes, there are times when I'm happy to have everyone and their siblings and freinds. But they always call me first, or I let them know that it is "open house" or "invited only". I don't think that is rude .... for heaven's sake it is my (your) home and if you're like me, you are entertaining more than your guests do.

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Old 09-12-2008, 07:14 AM   #22
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The ones that were there last time, will know exactly who you were addressing. Not rude at all and I'm sure that the ones that went without, are pleased you did this. Don't worry about it anymore. Have your lovely party and have fun with your friends.

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Old 09-12-2008, 08:34 AM   #23
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Not at all! Your letter was polite, succinct and direct. If someone is offended, it says more about their character than yours.
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Old 09-12-2008, 08:42 AM   #24
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i'll be there at half past six so we get in on the good grub, ok?

your note was polite and to the point, so not to worry.

umm, just make sure the food doesn't suck, now that you made such a big deal about it...he hee.
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Old 09-12-2008, 09:25 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by pacanis View Post
Now..... where's my invite
MK you've opened the flood gates now
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Old 09-12-2008, 10:43 AM   #26
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When I am invited to a party, dinner or otherwise, I do not bring extra people along, unless the invite says plus one, or consult the host. I, politely, would have taken her aside, at the time, & explained your concerns. Don't know how the initial invite went out - word of mouth, email, or RSVP. Perhaps the friend felt comfortable enough with your past generosity to bring a bunch along. Still not appropriate. Only you know your friends. I, like Claire, need a headcount, & prefer an RSVP to plan my dinner (amounts), seating etc. Perhaps, in the future, you could send out invites & state the purpose of the party/get together (if you wish), time, & a number to RSVP. I can imagine it was just as embarassing to you & your friends, to come up short because of the thoughtlessness of others. I wouldn't fret about it now. Just have a great time.
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Old 09-12-2008, 10:52 AM   #27
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No one with any class would bring 4 extra people uninvited to a party of ANY kind. Karen, I think you stated your point clearly and very politely. No one can fault you for that. You did good. Don't stress over it.
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Old 09-12-2008, 10:57 AM   #28
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You did the right thing MK as for me I would have been livid through out the whole party. What they did was really thoughtless. Where I live 45 miles from town my parties are usually just for some of the people that live here. If it was planned ahead and they get company which always involves spending the night at their house my friends will call first to ask permission, so far I have been able to accomodate as I usually make more than enough food but none would just show up with more people with out asking first. If I have a party that is an open house then it's a pot luck and I will make a big pot of chili for frito pies or something like that and out come the paper plates, bowls, etc. After all I want to have fun to.
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Old 09-12-2008, 11:07 AM   #29
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I can not add anything further to what everyone has already said. I know if I got an invitation worded the way you worded yours I would not have any issue with it at all. I would not even think twice about it.

I think the person who brought extra people was terribly rude and should be ashamed of themselves.
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Old 09-12-2008, 11:16 AM   #30
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I have a friend who has always felt free to bring extra people along without calling first. I don't mind when we're having a big hog fest and have plenty of extra food, but her choice of friends is sometimes questionable, and she's brought a few guests that I wished she'd left home.
One evening we were having a fish fry, and Kim was cooking the fish out in the pole barn in his propane deep fryer. Several of the guests were out there with him, while I was in the kitchen getting the rest of the food on the table. I happened to look out the window to see my friend headed for her truck with a big foil-covered plate. She wanted to make sure she and her husband had enough fish for lunch the next day, and took so much there was barely enough to go around for the rest of us.
Thing being, although she's a greedy little pig, she's also a dear friend in so many ways that I just overlook it. Kim did tell her not to bring her friend the coke dealer again.

One time, when we were partying out on the deck in the hot tub, I had another friend who went in to get himself a beer. When he didn't come back for a long while, I went in looking for him, and found he'd discovered the boiled shrimp chilling in the fridge and had eaten almost all of them.

In the case of my first friend...she grew up very poor in a large family, and her motto became, "You snooze, you lose." I also don't think anyone ever taught her any manners except her husband.

The second friend didn't have that excuse. He was just greedy.

I think you handled your situation very well. Some people just don't know their manners.

We get by with a little help from our friends
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