"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 05-07-2009, 10:47 AM   #1
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 229
Need advice from Moms!

Hi all,
I could post this on a more appropriate forum but I feel I have friends here. Here's the deal. I'm flying to Toronto tomorrow to help my niece with her new baby boy. She had a difficult birth, 2 episiotomies and the baby has jaundice. She is exhausted and overwhelmed, as is her husband. I think the jaundice is getting under control gradually. I have been around many babies and feel comfortable with them, but I have never given birth or breastfed.

Any and all advice is welcome. What can I do that would be most helpful? I can cook, of course and plan to do as much as I can, both for now and freezing for after I leave in two weeks. I'd love to find a way for her to get a good 6 hour stretch of sleep as soon as I get there. Can this be done? Because of the jaundice, I think the baby is both breast and bottle feeding. My other niece, who was there for the birth said that Mary (the new mom) is hyper vigilant and frets whenever the baby makes a noise. I'd like to help calm her down on that front as well.

Moms - this dedicated aunt needs your input. Once I get there, I have no idea how much computer time I'll get so anything you can throw at me today would be wonderful. I leave at 7 am Friday morning.

Thanks in advance. I know you'll come through for me! I'll try to report back when I can.

Laury

__________________

__________________
"First we eat, then we do everything else." M.F.K. Fisher
Laury is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 11:10 AM   #2
Everymom
 
Alix's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 23,184
6 hours might be a bit much. 4 is more likely. Just be there for her. Do the housework, cook, and be prepared for some hormonal stuff.
__________________

__________________
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams
Alix
Alix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 01:29 PM   #3
Chef Extraordinaire
 
Katie H's Avatar
Site Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: I live in the Heartland of the United States - Western Kentucky
Posts: 15,156
Agree totally with Alix. Four hours of rest/sleep at one stretch is more realistic, especially with a newborn. I breastfed all my children and my first child nursed every two hours, like clockwork, for the first 6 months. What an introduction to motherhood!

As Alix said, just be there for her and try to do as much as you can. Since she is nursing, make sure she has plenty of fluids. That's important. One organization that was an immense help and support to me when I breastfed was the La Leche League. Here's a link to their Canadian site.

Best wishes on your task. You're a loving aunt.
__________________
"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
Katie H is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 01:38 PM   #4
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 229
Thanks for the link I bookmarked it for later use should I need it. Latest is that baby and mom were re-admitted to the hospital for another jaundice treatment. But it should be the last and they'll be home for good tomorrow. Hubby told me that what they really needed help with was just holding the baby as human contact in the early days (last week)was limited because of the treatment. Well, I'm a champ at cuddling babies so no prob there. Can't wait to get my hands on him!
__________________
"First we eat, then we do everything else." M.F.K. Fisher
Laury is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 02:05 PM   #5
Chef Extraordinaire
 
kitchenelf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 19,725
Send a message via MSN to kitchenelf
The first time someone took my son for 10 minutes I felt rested You are on the right track with simply taking care of the baby...changing before/after feedings...being there to simply cuddle and hold the baby so she can rest. Lack of sleep does some nasty things to a new mother. I love my friends but the last thing I wanted to do was entertain them after just having had a baby. See if she wants visits kept to a minimum and if she's not up for a visitor give your apologies to them and ask them to come back. We put a "do not ring doorbell" sign up when I was asleep. Of course, everyone thought that was for someone else, not them! I also think sleeping babies should be left alone...find out what she thinks if someone wants to "just take a quick look".

I'm sure you will do the A-#1 thing and that is make her feel like a great Mom. Your a wonderful Aunt for doing this! This may be the longest two weeks of your life, but, it will also be the best!
__________________
kitchenelf

"Count yourself...you ain't so many" - quote from Buck's Daddy
kitchenelf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 02:22 PM   #6
Honey Badger
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,284
I think you have done the most important thing for her.You "offered".
She's a very lucky lady to have you come stay with her while she's recuperating.That's something she will always remember you fondly for.

My advice,keep her positive,her hormones are now off the chart!
If you can keep her oldest daughter busy,she's adjusting to the addition to.
Age appropriate gift,will make her feel good about everything,she won't feel left out or forgotten.
She can be your assistant :) the lil boss lady..I'm sure you'll here "My Mom does it like this!"..lol..

You know with all the help they might not let you go home ever!..Are you ready for that? :)

Good luck,have a good trip.

Munky.
__________________
If your with me that's great. If not. Get out of my way.
Chef Munky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 05:59 PM   #7
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 229
Thanks all! And Chef Munky, I think you misunderstood. This is her first child. The other niece I mentioned was Mary's grown sister who was there for the birth and a few days afterward. But I will remember your advice when I go stay after her second child is born!
__________________
"First we eat, then we do everything else." M.F.K. Fisher
Laury is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 07:06 PM   #8
Honey Badger
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,284
My apologies...I missed that part by a long shot! ok I didn't SEE it..my face is swollen.I've an infected root on my top molar.It's been very painful.Yeah I'm having a fun week.

Have a great trip anyways..don't forget your camera :)

Munky.
__________________
If your with me that's great. If not. Get out of my way.
Chef Munky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 07:13 PM   #9
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 229
Well no wonder you misread it. You're out of your mind with pain! No apologies necessary. And although I will take the camera, I have NO idea how to get them out of the camera and into the computer. Maybe if I have a minute, Mary's hubby can help me as he's a whiz. I'll hold the baby while he does it!
__________________
"First we eat, then we do everything else." M.F.K. Fisher
Laury is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2009, 08:21 PM   #10
Master Chef
 
CharlieD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: USA,Minnesota
Posts: 8,394
4 out of my 5 kids were jaundice. But to be re-admited to hospital it must be really bad. All we did for our kids kept them under special lamp, and actually right now it is pretty warm and weather permiting, if it is sunny, baby can be put on the window cell or close to it with open curtans and just rest under the sun.

Otherwise house hold help is all she needs. As far as breast feeding, hopefully it goes well, if not there are places where the pump could be rented and that should/could/might help with milk. Ald folks would tell us to give the mother tea with milk. Supposedtly it helps build the milk, I think drinking simply helps too. But hey, I'd go with old folk story before I go with the doctors. They are great when it comes to surgery but there are things that they just refuse to understand and apriciate.

Just keep the new mom rested.


P.S. sorry I am not a mom, I am dad, but I had plenty of expirience.
__________________

__________________
You are what you eat.
CharlieD is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:32 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.