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Old 07-06-2008, 08:06 PM   #131
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All of ours came along when using protection... go figure LOL.

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Old 07-06-2008, 09:10 PM   #132
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Almost as soon as I was out of my wedding dress, I was ready for kids. I literally had that "longing" feeling. I went through a miscarriage, but a year and a half after our wedding, my son was born. Two years and twelve days later, I had my daughter. The direct result of another "longing". To date, I have NOT had that longing.

I see babies all the time. I get a tiny twinge, but within a few minutes, I'm once again back to the "no more kids" sense. Not to say that couldn't change, but we're at that point where we can up and go, or at the very lease, sleep more than 3 hours in a stretch. lol

I also had the chance to see another side of "longing". I was a gestational surrogate for a couple who couldn't have children. It took us two years to finally deliver a baby girl and I can tell you, I NEVER in my life experienced that kind of longing.

I have a greater understanding of the pain of not being able to have kids. It makes me mad when friends and family think it's their business to know "when are you going to have kids?" Almost like it's a requirement for being married.

Both of my husbands siblings are unable to have children. From the little bit I got from my one sister in law, my mother in law felt they weren't "trying hard enough". I don't understand why people feel that having children is the only logical thing to do after marriage.

I have nothing but respect for people that choose not to have children. Their reasons make no difference. Obviously I think kids would enhance their lives, but that doesn't mean it's true. I'm biased.

Admittedly, there are times when my mind wanders and I wonder what my life would be like without kids. I don't mean I wish that, I just wonder. Some people just have a lifestyle not suited for children, and they enjoy it. There's really nothing wrong with that, imo, and I commend them for not trying to stick kids into a lifestyle that doesn't fit.

*blog contains some bad words.
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Old 07-06-2008, 09:41 PM   #133
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Originally Posted by Alix View Post
OK, I gotta comment on the "using birth control correctly" thing. Trust me when I tell you that even using the methods correctly (and more than one at a time I might add) is STILL not fail safe. The only fail safe method is abstinence. Even the Pill can be compromised.

And expatgirl, love the nun thing!
So true, Alix. That's why you have to ready for anything! But it amazes me that so many people don't know how to put a condom on correctly (I don't know how to clarify this without getting graphic) - the directions are right on the package! (Wait - I may have just figured that out. Men and reading directions. Hmmm)

Also, there are a lot of teen girls that don't understand that birth control pills do not become fully effective until you have taken them for 2 months. Or that you can't just take them when you are going to have sex. Or that they are not effective if you are taking antibiotics or certain other medications.

Because no method is 100% effective even when used correctly, it's really important that teens understand exactly how to use each method to minimize the failure rate. After all, they are the least prepared to handle the consequences if an unexpected pregnancy occurs.
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Old 07-06-2008, 10:21 PM   #134
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Originally Posted by lulu View Post
I seriously think opting to have more than two children in an overpopulated world merits serious consideration. But for those parents who are gifted I can see why the temptation would be great.

I hope my answer doesn't offend.
I'm not offended and don't mean to offend either. I just wanted to put in a word about overpopulation. I think this world is capable of providing sustenance for many, many more people than currently live in it. It is the way we humans manage our land, resources, and relationships that cause hunger and other problems. You are right that there is a problem, but there are those who contribute to the problem and those who contribute to society.

I intend to have 5 or 6 children and I don't think I'll be contributing to the world hunger problem. I intend to raise children who grow up to be good individuals who contribute to society and help provide rather than take away. And I don't intend to have more children than I can afford to provide for with my own money and resources. I think the problem comes when people who cannot or will not provide for their own children have them. I'd say more but it would involve politics, which is taboo here.

I wish I could sow my tone of voice in writing just so you could tell that i'm not angry or accusing. Just stating my belief on the topic.

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Old 07-06-2008, 10:42 PM   #135
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I was listening to Dr. Dean Odell (a syndicated doctor) on my way back from NC today, and this subject came up. Dr Odell stated that there can be "leakage" even after a vasectomy. Now that is scary.
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:17 AM   #136
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Originally Posted by Bigjim68 View Post
I was listening to Dr. Dean Odell (a syndicated doctor) on my way back from NC today, and this subject came up. Dr Odell stated that there can be "leakage" even after a vasectomy. Now that is scary.
I know of someone who got pregnant after her husband had a vasectomy!!!
"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." - Nelson Mandela
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:54 AM   #137
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Well, I can tell you about a very funny lady who had twins in her late 40's---Ginny was her name and we all loved her.......she was in our monthly pokeno group and noone missed her month-----Feb----she was the best Cajun cook ever.......anyway, Ginny told us that she got pregnant with TWINS after her DH's fixer upper and it was cause he wasn't going in for the tests---too much trouble........ most vasectomies in order to be effective have to have 2-3 semen tests in a row that show no activity........took my husband nearly 3 months to have those 3 in a row of no Mark Spitz olympic swimmers before you're considered safe..........glad, that I wasn't a pioneer woman or I would have been a Ma Kettle that's for sure...........
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Old 07-07-2008, 09:40 AM   #138
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I've never even had the urge to have kids, and my parents don't seem to mind. I'm now near the age of 50, so if I even wanted to, it's a little too late. I was born an old maid and I'm going to die an old maid. I've seen people my generation give birth to kids, and the kids have grown up wanting for nothing, and their 'little darlings' can do no wrong. God help this country then for they are some of the laziest sons of hunka's I've ever seen. They go whining to mama to fix the wrong they did by blaming it on somebody else, and then wonder why they don't have any friends to hang around with. I'd (figuratively not literally) kill them! Plus the fact that we've currently got the beginnings of WW3 wanting to start up in the middle east and I don't want to have to send kids over there. There's enough over there as it is, and I'm praying for their safe return someday. My frame set of mind was not made for kids, I never 'heard' my 'biological clock' go off (whatever THAT sounds like I'd sure like to know), and it's no big loss. My parents as I said are okay with the thought that none of their 4 kids are going to have kids of their own, even though my younger brother has married into a pre-made family with the best well-behaved kids I've seen in a long time and one of them has ADD.
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Old 07-07-2008, 09:57 AM   #139
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Unhappy Planned on a Couple

Good question, and insensitive if you equate the lack of kids to the intent not to have them. Though I'm sure most folks don't intend these questions that way. And there is nothing wrong w/ not wanting kids, either.

We planned on a couple of kids, nature planned on none. Fertility testing & methods, depression, hormonal imbalance due to fertility drugs and anguish over this are what most folks w/ kids are lucky enough not to know. Be grateful, and if you are about to tell someone, "don't worry, you'll have kids someday soon ..." or etc. , don't do it. We don't need to be reminded of what we're already living with.

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Old 07-07-2008, 10:04 AM   #140
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Um, I hope you dont mean I was being insensitive by asking. It was an innocent question, and I said in the very first post I understand that if you cant you cant.
Never said there was anything wrong with not having them. Nobody did or would say that.
My intent was not to hurt anyone and I'm sorry if I did.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.....
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