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Old 07-07-2008, 10:35 PM   #161
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Anyone have inlaws or outlaws try and guilt you into having kids or ask you when the bundles of joys were coming???? hahaha..........
Nope, just the opposite, they could care less and that includes both sets of parents. When our first daughter did come along, my mom did like spending time with her and taking her around family reunions and showing her off. But when my son came along she told me "two is more than I can handle" and she never took the kids again, or came to visit them at all.
Her and dad spent all of their time with my brothers son and dealing with his problems. He never married the girl he had a son with, and later they split and went into a custody battle. He won at first, but then 8 years later she won custody. I think it all started when he was 8 and now he is 16 and they are still battling back and forth in court. When my brother had custody, mom and dad did all the babysitting for him, and dealt with the school. The school and his mom felt he had ADD, my mom and dad disagreed so that all became a long drawn out court battle as well. And they paid for everything my brother couldn't pay for which was a lot. The sad thing is that as soon as the mother won custody back, my brother and mom and dad stopped having anything to do with him at all. No visits, nothing. My brother married a woman with two kids and seems to have disowned his own son now as has mom.
My wifes parents always did the 'had to' thing meaning once or twice a year visiting us (we live 20 miles apart and that was the best they could manage), and when we visited them (every other Sunday) they pretty much couldn't get us out of the house fast enough. When my SIL had a son, they couldn't seem to spend enough time with him. And even though they lived in Indianapolis they visited him at least once a month.
I am glad we don't have contact with them anymore. I would have to say both her parents and mine are prime examples of people who should not have had kids. My parents didn't want em, they did it cause that is what they were 'supposed' to do after getting married. Her parents got married because someone else got her pregnant and she couldn't stand the scandal of being single and pregnant when he ran off.
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Old 07-07-2008, 10:42 PM   #162
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The manual? Would that be the Kama Sutra? Oh wait, can I say that here?
oh, goodness, there is no way that he would have read that without blushing............no way...........
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:15 PM   #163
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Guys, I feel bad about hijacking SQ's thread. or maybe I feel like I have I didn't mean to....and no one has admonished me about this---I promise--- i just feel guilty myself...........i thought I was maybe redirecting things back to the original topic and I don't think it went there so I want SQ to be the one to redirect things back to her thread if she wants to.........so SusieQ it's back in your court.......let us know where you want to go with this thread...........
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:52 PM   #164
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Toby
Weight: 8lb 14oz
Height: 20inches
Just a little over 2 weeks old. He's our 2nd.

I'm going to be 23 in 1 month. :)
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Old 07-08-2008, 01:17 AM   #165
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he is so beautiful , congrats. to you and your wife.

babe
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Old 07-08-2008, 02:33 AM   #166
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I've been trying to read the entire thread, but have probably missed some. I'm astonished that I am such a rarity. My husband and I discussed the subject and decided .... no. At age 29 I had my tubes tied and have not had one minute of regret. Now my friends and siblings have kids aged from early teens to 50, and even those with kids as old as me (53) still have not a day of rest from the responsibility. Drug and booze problems, unemployment, and "accidental" grandchildren who they wind up raising. I was married for the second time at age 28 and sat new hubby down and told him I'd had it with birth control. I was actually willing to have children if he wanted them. As a good Catholic girl I grew up knowing I'd have a few. But Mom taught me "No Accidents" and applauded my decision when I made it.
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Old 07-08-2008, 05:03 AM   #167
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I've been trying to read the entire thread, but have probably missed some. I'm astonished that I am such a rarity. My husband and I discussed the subject and decided .... no. At age 29 I had my tubes tied and have not had one minute of regret. Now my friends and siblings have kids aged from early teens to 50, and even those with kids as old as me (53) still have not a day of rest from the responsibility. Drug and booze problems, unemployment, and "accidental" grandchildren who they wind up raising. I was married for the second time at age 28 and sat new hubby down and told him I'd had it with birth control. I was actually willing to have children if he wanted them. As a good Catholic girl I grew up knowing I'd have a few. But Mom taught me "No Accidents" and applauded my decision when I made it.

Good for you, Claire!! You are not an oddity either. A lot of women feel that way and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And your right about watching other people go through the bad times. It's horrible on the nerves and health going through it, but, most of the time, the bad gets pushed to the side for the good times. So, don't feel to sorry for us hugs!!
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Old 07-08-2008, 05:47 AM   #168
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oh, goodness, stinemates, what a cutey-pie.............:):):)
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Old 07-08-2008, 06:09 AM   #169
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[quote=expatgirl;641567]Anyone have inlaws or outlaws try and guilt you into having kids or ask you when the bundles of joys were coming???? quote]


Oh yes, oh yes.

Both sides really. My parents woud prefer we moved out before starting but my mother, weirldly, also wants me to move home for the first three months afterwards! (no way! once w get out this time they'll nver get me out of my own home, lol). I know she has a stash of stuff (toys and booties etc) for when the news breaks.

DH's family suggest to (especially his aunt who I love).

I don't see it as negative so much as a bit invasive. The health of my reproductive system is not discussed, but ither way, I feel our lack of production is our business. But it is love that motivates the pressure I'm sure. As much as I find it stressful I try and remember that the motives are good.

Oh, dear, this thread has made me REALLY wish we had one! Stellasquash, wonderful, and, I imagine also very stressful and emotional for all concerned. What a wonderful thing to have done for that family! They are very lucky to have found you.
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Old 07-08-2008, 06:43 AM   #170
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I'd post something. but being me, I'd probably ofend somebody, so I better shut up.
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