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Old 07-08-2008, 10:06 AM   #171
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As I said before I also chose not to have kids it just wasn't in me. But I have to say not having kids is much, much more acceptable now than thirty years ago. When I was in my teens and 20s and said I was not having kids I would get the weirdest looks from people and a lot of questions it was if they were trying to analyze my mental health or something. People just could not understand the fact I did not want kids. Seemed pretty normal to me. Oh and one of the questions was " who is going to take care of you when you get old?" I said there is no guarantee your kids will take care of you when you get old and it certainly isn't a reason someone should have kids and no I don't like women in that way and yes I do like men It was as if I was some kind of freak or abnormal. Oh and another one was "Do you know that some women can never have kids and really want them and you can so why don't you want them? "
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Old 07-08-2008, 10:31 AM   #172
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yep, hear you loud and clearly, jpm.............
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Old 07-08-2008, 10:42 AM   #173
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Originally Posted by Claire View Post
I've been trying to read the entire thread, but have probably missed some. I'm astonished that I am such a rarity. My husband and I discussed the subject and decided .... no. At age 29 I had my tubes tied and have not had one minute of regret. Now my friends and siblings have kids aged from early teens to 50, and even those with kids as old as me (53) still have not a day of rest from the responsibility. Drug and booze problems, unemployment, and "accidental" grandchildren who they wind up raising. I was married for the second time at age 28 and sat new hubby down and told him I'd had it with birth control. I was actually willing to have children if he wanted them. As a good Catholic girl I grew up knowing I'd have a few. But Mom taught me "No Accidents" and applauded my decision when I made it.
LOL Claire you sound like all kids are miserable beings!
They're not all bad, only mine.
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Old 07-08-2008, 10:56 AM   #174
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What I find quite amusing is when people say "but you'll be such a good mother!" I'll then ask them "have you ever seen me ever give any attention to your kids or any kids for that matter?" to which they have to answer no. They sometimes come back with "but you're so good with your dogs" Hellooo ! Dogs, kids - 2 different things ! :-)
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Old 07-08-2008, 11:59 AM   #175
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Hellooo ! Dogs, kids - 2 different things ! :-)
Yeah, dogs are cleaner
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:00 PM   #176
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We actually sat in health class and watched Ronald Regan's son put a condom on a banana. Pretty funny at the time, and I remember just about all of the class goofed off at the time so it was a pretty wasted effort, they assumed they already knew it all.

Remembering back to when I was a teenager, we had the 'invincible' attitude and just couldn't conceive of it happening to us. We carried our condoms in our wallets and assumed we were safe from anything (relating to pregnancy and STDs). The roll of the eyes was the attitude of the day.

And while I agree with what Alix is saying in that no form of birth control outside of abstinence is 100%, I have also seen first hand what suzyq3 is saying. You would think with all the sex ed in our schools they would know how to use this stuff by now? And given that no doctor would give a girl birth control without making sure she knew how it works and how to use it (Right? I know the wifes dr. went thru it all thoroughly), I have to wonder why so many would be blaming improper use of birth control?
Maybe it is actually a subconscious sabotage on their part?
Maverick2272, nice shorthand for my "or a result of some deception, either explicit or more subconscious?"
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:23 PM   #177
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What I find quite amusing is when people say "but you'll be such a good mother!" I'll then ask them "have you ever seen me ever give any attention to your kids or any kids for that matter?" to which they have to answer no. They sometimes come back with "but you're so good with your dogs" Hellooo ! Dogs, kids - 2 different things ! :-)
This post has been really enlightening for me and I thank all of you for it. I have a number of friends who have no children, some because it just worked out that way and many by choice. A couple of my children have decided not to have children and I think it's a good choice for them.

But I have told a few of my friends that I thought they would have been an excellent parent. I meant this completely as a complimentary observation, not as a suggestion they reconsider. I think they all know I respect their decision in this important matter. But now, I'm wondering if I have ever made them feel like I was judging them or nudging them. I'm going to make sure I apologize to those few people in case I made them feel bad or irritated them. I never really thought until this thread that a remark like that could be taken as a criticism or a pointed remark but I can see how it could. So thanks for opening my eyes to this, ya'll.
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:31 PM   #178
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Oh and one of the questions was " who is going to take care of you when you get old?" I said there is no guarantee your kids will take care of you when you get old and it certainly isn't a reason someone should have kids and no I don't like women in that way and yes I do like men
You are definitely on track here, JP! My naughty son Nick and I were discussing the work and progress we're all making in bringing my mom here to live with me. I was worrying over trying to make things as much like they are at home for her so she won't be unhappy and saying I should have been planning for this sooner. Nick said it was a good experience for him since he'll be taking care of me one day. I said, "Aww, thank you Sweetie for being willing to take me in if I need it. I'll try hard not to be difficult". There was a long pause and then he said "Well, since you have 7 of us, you should probably check with the other kids first." Of course, I shot back with "What makes you think you were first on my list?"
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:32 PM   #179
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Toby
Weight: 8lb 14oz
Height: 20inches
Just a little over 2 weeks old. He's our 2nd.

I'm going to be 23 in 1 month. :)
What a beautiful little boy, Stine! I'm so happy for you. I hope he's a very happy child and a good sleeper!
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:35 PM   #180
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This post has been really enlightening for me and I thank all of you for it. I have a number of friends who have no children, some because it just worked out that way and many by choice. A couple of my children have decided not to have children and I think it's a good choice for them.

But I have told a few of my friends that I thought they would have been an excellent parent. I meant this completely as a complimentary observation, not as a suggestion they reconsider. I think they all know I respect their decision in this important matter. But now, I'm wondering if I have ever made them feel like I was judging them or nudging them. I'm going to make sure I apologize to those few people in case I made them feel bad or irritated them. I never really thought until this thread that a remark like that could be taken as a criticism or a pointed remark but I can see how it could. So thanks for opening my eyes to this, ya'll.
I don't think a remark like that will offend or irritate most people - most people will probably take it as the complement it was intended as - I just think it's funny in my case when people say it as I never really show any interest in anyone's kids
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