No kids, how come?

[Saphellae]

Youth debt isn't getting any better with education costs on the rise for college and university. If the governments wants to fill jobs, they need to regulate those costs. But, don't want to get political lol.. this is just about peoples choices on having kids.

For me, it's not a competition to have the biggest house or have the biggest family - if I wanted that I would have them by now, since alot of my friends are now married with children. Unless it is a blessed accident, I think most people attempt to wait until they are ready financially and with their partner. There will always be people who don't know how to take care of their kids and never wanted them to begin with (it's called birth control people, use it!).

 

[MexicoKaren]

Russ, I think if I were doing it all over again (my kids were born in the late 60s, early 70s), I might hesitate for the very reasons you cited. It is an uncertain world we are living in. My daughter and her husband (39 and 41) have chosen not to have children, and my son and his wife (37 and 36) have two daughters but a very unconventional lifestyle. During their primary years, the children were home-schooled. For the past three years, they have attended an international school in China, where my son and his wife both teach. They have had very little exposure to American pop culture and as a consequence, at ages 9 and 11, they are still CHILDREN. They just visited us a few weeks ago and they are smart, healthy, funny, happy children. They don't listen to iPods or wear clothing that is too mature for them or clamor for material things. It is an unusual way to raise children, but it seems to be working for them. And they both speak and write fluent Chinese, so that may serve them well in the future.

 

[Saphellae]

That is always nice to see, Karen.. children acting like children, not trying to grow up too fast.

 

[attie]

Nice post Karen, being close to Asia and being such a cheap area to visit we have a lot of contact with China and I have a lot of respect for their peoples ways.

What I failed to mention before was that both our sons [35 & 28] have decided to remain bachelors and are the best of mates, they live for fishing. They have also decided to move back in with Mum and Dad, that's cool, we enjoy their company. They also pay all the running costs, that's even more cool.

 

[pacanis]

How many kids are parked in your house?

OK. Anyone going to start the thread?

No kids. Divorced too soon, which was good at the time, but now that I'm older I reflect a bit on what it would be like to have a kid or two around....
No biggie to me. I like them, just don't have any It's my life and I don't dwell on the what could have beens very much.

 

[Adillo303]

I started to post before, but lost my nerve. Hope I cna get through it this time. Having kisd was not a decision I was involved in. My GF at the time did that. yes I provided my part, hapily, but, I did notlearn for several years that there was a plan involved.

With thst said, I thank her and god for the wonderful human being that is my daughter. Of all the things that I have accomplished in my life she is paramount. Recently she told one of her frineds "I talk to my dad every day and it is the high point of my day." Instant cloud nine.

In reading all of the posts here I see a lot of things that make sense. Having kids todayis a much bigger decision that it was in the mid 60's. Financially and emotionally. It is something that couples are thinking over together which is great. Whatever the outcome of their dedision, it is their decision and no one should question or attempt to sway it. I do worry for the children of today's younger grenration. Mexico Karen, your grandchildren are to be envied, as thye have a life that is now difficult to get.

AC

 

[texasgirl]

Neither of us have the slightest urge to have children - never have - and we're in our mid thirties. I'm just not a "child person". My friends all have kids and I never have the urge to play or interact with them(does that sound horrible?) I'd rather cuddle a puppy than a baby Neither my mom or sister ever had an urge to have kids but had them because my dad and BIL wanted them (but they love their kids now that they're there) - so maybe it's genetic In my point of view you should only have kids if you really really want them and not because of any other reason - people often ask me "but you're going to be lonely when you're old" - not a reason to have kids in my opinion. It's actually pretty amazing how personal people can get

doesn't sound horrible at all! Sometimes, though I love my boys with all my heart and would give my life for them, I like my dogs so much more and I am NOT joking! Animals want nothing from you but to be fed and loved and let them run around and play and to be taken care of when they need. They give you constant unconditional love all the time!!


{In my own little perfect world, I like to think that some people are unable to have children so that there is someone that will take the ones that are thrown away. Not the ones that are given up for adoption, but, literally, thrown away, abused in any. That way all the love that has built up is showered over a child that has had nothing but pain and can have a life of love and family.}

 

[jpmcgrew]

I feel bad when kids have kids they have no idea what they are getting into. Anyone considering having kids must think about it long and hard. It is a different world now. I havn't seen Baby Borrowers but maybe it should be mandatory for young people to watch it. Not only is it a lot of work but also very expensive. The way the economy is now many adult children are moving back home with their parents.

 

[elaine l]

OK, this could make me seem like some sort of paranoid shut in or just a grouchy old man with a horrible pessimistic outlook, but it's my honest answer to the question.

Let me start by saying that I love kids. I have two god-children now and have been named honorary uncle by many friends who have kids. I'm told I'm great with them. I know I get along really well with them.

That said, I just don't really feel like it's a very good world that today's kids get to inherit. There are many factors including pollution, exhaustion of resources (fuel, food, wood, clean air, drinking water, even the metals we build with are showing signs of running out), the erosion of our civil liberties and more. I think all of these trends will continue on a world wide basis until it is far too late to do anything about it.

OK, now I've written a complete downer of a post for a nice cheery thread. My apologies, and I hope you don't all think of me as a nutcase from here on in.

Russ

I have several friends that made the decision to not have children. That is a good decision for them based on what they want out of life. But I disagree that a valid reason would be that the world we live in gives them nothing to inherit. What world was there a hundred or a thousand years ago? What would those parents have said? Did they know that we would develop antibiotics? Make huge advances in medicine, economics, education, technology? Their chances of living an easy life were certainly a lot less than those born today. They had hardships we can only imagine. I did have children, three of them and all grown up. Was it a good decision? To me yes, the time of my life. Is it right for everyone? No I think not. Did I make a point? Probably not!

 

[MexicoKaren]

Thanks for your positive comments, Adillo, Attie and Saphaelle. It was so much fun to watch the two lovely little red-headed girls playing on the beach, making sandcastles together when they were here visiting. My son and his family love China; they just signed up for two more years there. There are challenges to be sure, but the people are warm and friendly and eager to learn. And there is beauty to be seen there everywhere you look. As you can imagine, having children for me was one of the best things I've ever done with my life. Both of my children are good, compassionate people who will have a positive effect on countless people as they go through life. I'm very proud of them. (And they both called me today and said "I love you, Mom)

 

[knight76]

Without reading this whoe thread (I am working).

I wanted to say I do not see anything wrong with people who do not wish to have kids. It is their lives and their choice and I do not think it is selfish in the slightest.

I have two kids myself with one on the way and love being a father. I love my kids to bits and would not go back to being childless for any money in the world. There is just something heart warming getting up in the cold winter mornings, your two year old hears you pottering around before work and gets out of bed to come give you a cuddle.

But, there are times when I lament the loss of freedom. Once you have kids, your life becomes your kids. You lose a lot of freedom to just go do something, as your kids have a nap/feed schedule etc. You will quickly find your conversation topics generally revolve around your kids also.

Some people just do not wish to give up their freedom which is totally fine. Some people just don't like kids which is also totally fine. Some people want 10 kids which is also totally fine as it makes up for those who do not want kids.

Anyway, my 2 cents worth. Who am I to judge someone elses decision?

 

[jpmcgrew]

Thanks for your positive comments, Adillo, Attie and Saphaelle. It was so much fun to watch the two lovely little red-headed girls playing on the beach, making sandcastles together when they were here visiting. My son and his family love China; they just signed up for two more years there. There are challenges to be sure, but the people are warm and friendly and eager to learn. And there is beauty to be seen there everywhere you look. As you can imagine, having children for me was one of the best things I've ever done with my life. Both of my children are good, compassionate people who will have a positive effect on countless people as they go through life. I'm very proud of them. (And they both called me today and said "I love you, Mom)

I wish kids in this country would stay kids instead of trying to be grown up especially the girls I sure it's because of all the crap they watch on TV. As I said before DHs granddaughter is coming to visit and she is only 10 and she wears a bra and stuffs it with tissue. Can't wait to see what else when she gets here.

 

[Maverick2272]

My daughter is also 10, and is in a training bra... or so I am told cause she is still my little girl and I am in complete denial... but she isn't going around stuffing it, and she is not wearing it for kicks it is something she needs.
I have heard they believe there is a link to BHG in milk and girls developing early, they also have found data suggesting overweight girls will develop more quickly than girls that are at or below their recommended weight.

 

[Chicks]

Never had kids never wanted them. I have friends who had them and wish they didn't, friends who never had any and are happy and friends who have kids and love them to pieces. It is all a matter of choice and fate. We made the choice long ago and have never questioned it, we knew that we would not be good parent material. I will be a good kitty parent, they never ask for the car.
Cin

 

[MexicoKaren]

I have heard they believe there is a link to BHG in milk and girls developing early,

You know, Mav, I wondered about that when they were here. GD is 11, tall and slim like her dad, and still looks just like a little girl (no development yet). I wonder if their being out of the country (not drinking US milk) for several years has anything to do with that?

 

[Maverick2272]

Yea, only its BGH not BHG, I got the letters mixed up LOL. I have met several parents who avoided any milk or dairy with any link to BGH or other hormones, etc that they enhance this stuff with and non of them have kids developing early.
Hard to say as the study is in its infancy still I think, but food for though so to speak...

 

[jpmcgrew]

You know, Mav, I wondered about that when they were here. GD is 11, tall and slim like her dad, and still looks just like a little girl (no development yet). I wonder if their being out of the country (not drinking US milk) for several years has anything to do with that?

Oh, yes they are better off. In the states most of the milk and meat is from cows that have been injected with growth hormones ,steroids and antibiotics. Breast cancer has also been linked with growth hormones.

 

[jpmcgrew]

Mav, I assume you mean BGH as Bovine Growth Hormones. They want to grow animals as fast as they can as to make money as fast as they can. In the mean time it's hurting the children and us in a serious molecular way.

 

[Maverick2272]

Yea that's the stuff JPM, at first I switched the letters and thought that might confuse some so I wanted to correct myself, LOL.

 

[jpmcgrew]

Yea that's the stuff JPM, at first I switched the letters and thought that might confuse some so I wanted to correct myself, LOL.

Either way it's really bad stuff